18 Civs; the Mongol Version

[Pacifist46]

300BC

For the farmer and his young son, it was simply a case of being in the wrong place at the wrong time.

They were travelling on the cart back home one autumn afternoon along the hillside road to Osaka after the yearly trip north to the Grand Bazaar in Karakorum. The farmer grew mainly rice, but a little sugar cane as well. Looking ahead, he could see his home city, nestled peacefully beneath him between the green forest and the blue sea. In a few days he would be home again, with his wife and the rest of his family, he thought. His oldest son was sleeping beside him; at ten summers, his mother had finally let him accompany his father north this year, after endless begging. The farmer smiled. It had been a good experience for him. Despite the depression, he had done well this year; due to the Turfan rice fields flooding, rice had been in short supply.

The road entered a forest, and the tall trees shut out the warm autumn sun, whilst the cliffs to the right created dark shadows across the track. The farmer pulled his cloak around his son’s head. Under the cloak, his son slept on.

Just before a bend, the horses pulled up. The farmer groaned. Silly animals were constantly delaying him. He got out of the cart and went to them. They were snorting and stamping. He tried to calm them, but they took no notice. The farmer turned to go back to the cart, where his son was still sleeping. He would have to wait until they calmed down, he thought.

Suddenly, figures sprang around the corner and darted towards the cart. The farmer started in horror, and then almost screamed as more figures sprang out from within crevasses in the cliffs. The farmer was shocked. There had been rumours of an increase in attacks. Indeed, he had thought of hiring a small troupe of bodyguards back in the capital on the back of them, but he had reckoned that they would as likely as not have turned on him on some isolated road. Besides, the horde that was upon him now must number at least thirty.

Grim-faced, the farmer grasped his stick, ready to tackle the first figure that reached the cart. He would try and make his mark. His last thought was of his son sleeping in the cart, and of his family that he would never see again, waiting in Osaka for his return. Then a missile struck the side of his head, and he fell.

===========================================================

KOLAI: The bandit attacks in the southern provinces are on the increase again, sire. There is even talk of a general uprising in the region.
GENGHIS: Not again! Stupid losers should all go get proper jobs.
GRIZNAKH: Need I remind you, my lord, that, due to the woeful state of the economy, there are no jobs to be found.
GENGHIS: Bollocks! There’s always stuff needs doing. Tell them all to go and, erm, I don’t know, build a massive wall or something.
GRIZNAKH: My apologies, sire, but the already did that one.
GENGHIS: What? Well, then, get them all to build summat else . . . like a massive triangular monument!
GRIZNAKH: Again taken, by the Indians.
GENGHIS: Shut up, Griznakh! I don’t see you guys coming up with any ideas, do I?
ISHAK: Like, I reckon we should, like, let ‘em be. In a few years there won’t be anyone left like, and then they’ll stop. Wicked plan!
GENGHIS: Oh, to hell with it. Do what we did last time, and go and smack the bandits around a bit.
KOLAI: My pleasure, sire.

Alexander enters the yurt, flanked by two of his servants

ALEXANDER: Lock up ya daughters, cos Greece is back in da hood!
GENGHIS: Which idiot let you in here? And what do you want?
ALEXANDER: Yo man, I’m just hanging with my bro’ GK! Plus, now I know this ghetto goes by the name of Mongolia, I was thinkin’ ‘bout a a little open borders trea-tise, ya know what I mean?
GENGHIS: Alright then. Now go back home.
ALEXANDER: That’s magic! Laters.

Alexander swaggers out, passing the Arabian Saladin on his way in.

SALADIN: How quaint. Two barbarian tribes holding little meetings with each other.
GENGHIS: So if I’m a stupid barbarian, how come you want to meet with me? Eh? Eh?
SALADIN: Who said I did want to meet with you? And I’m hoping to be gone soon. Just as soon as you sign for Open Borders with Arabia, the mightiest kingdom ever to grace your . . .
GENGHIS: Yeah, yeah, well you’ll be here all day if you go off on a diatribe like that. Consider us Open Bordered.
SALADIN: Good.

Saladin strides out of the yurt

ISHAK: Like, that’s pretty cool, we now have, like, a lot of open borders and that. Should be good for, like, the economy and whatever.
GRIZNAKH: And soon we might be able to trade resources over there! I’ve heard that Arabian oysters are simply exquisite.
GENGHIS: Heard, or tasted, Griznakh?

 

[Pacifist46]

275BC

Abbas, the preacher, could sense that his audience was getting restless.

A week ago it was now since he had arrived in Karakorum, the capital of these really quite uncouth and barbaric Mongols, to attempt to civilise them with the true faith, and every day he had stood on his platform in the market and instructed a huge group of listeners in the lore of the Hindu gods. The Arabian kingdom had been optimistic and enthusiastic in persuading him to go and “bring those heathens to righteous justice”. Abbas had been dedicated to his mission, although he personally thought that the court was more interested in the potential income that might be donated at the Kashi Viswanath back in Mecca.
At first his rapt audience had listened in silence as he proclaimed about the gods Vishnu and Brahman, the stories of Ganesh and the creations of Krishna. Now, though, under the baking sun, he sensed their attention was elsewhere. Moreover, his crowd had dwindled, although it was still sizeable. But Abbas knew that if his mission was to succeed, he had to convince them today. Many would not return tomorrow.
. . . “And so, as Vishnu gave the old beggar his walking stick back, it suddenly transformed, into a sack of gold!”
Someone sniggered.
“And the beggar found he was the richest man in the kingdom, richer than the king himself, and he also found that he no longer needed his walking stick, his limp was cured. Such is the benevolence of the gods!”
“What a load of old TOSH!”
A voice suddenly shouted from the crowd. The crowd itself started murmuring. Abbas turned angrily to the voice, which came from a wiry youth of around sixteen summers standing near the front.
“Silence! You dare insult the holy gods?” he bellowed.
The youth was defiant. “I say that you are making it all up!” he yelled back.
Abbas was just about to retort, when the sky suddenly darkened. Seconds ago it had been clear blue, now dark clouds formed an impenetrable shield against the sun. Rain began to fall. The crowd were too stunned to move. Rain in August was unheard of this far south.
A thunderous clap made everyone jump. Then, a startling flash erupted nearby, and the youth who had been shouting just a minute ago crumpled.
“He’s dead” someone shouted on inspection. The murmuring of the crowd grew louder.
And then, as suddenly as it had began, the rain ceased, and the sun returned. Incredible, thought Abbas. He could scarcely believe his eyes. Surely this was a sign.
Rising to his feet he cried, “Observe how the gods react to such an insult! Will anyone else doubt their supremacy, and share the fate of this man?”
The crowd fell deathly silent. Then as one, they all fell to their knees, and started chanting the Hindu prayers with a fervour an astonished Abbas had never before witnessed. The preacher’s work here was done.
===========================================================

GENGHIS: What the hell?
GRIZNAKH: I repeat, the crowd were all immediately converted to the religion of the preacher, Hinduism.
GENGHIS: I never believed my own people would be so gullible! One freak accident and now they’re all worshipping some bloody imaginary clowns, just because one Arabian conman reckoned it was a “sign”. Just tell them all to go sober up.
GRIZNAKH: I warn you, now the majority of the town are Hindus, any attempt to suppress the religion will have riotous consequences.
GENGHIS: Bollocks will it. Now go and make the announcement.
GRIZNAKH: My lord, you do not realise the seriousness of the situation. The people are affected with something I call “religious zeal”. Most would sacrifice their lives against such oppress . . . I mean, opposition.
GENGHIS: You have got to be kidding. So we’re stuck with it?
GRIZNAKH: Indeed, although we are not, as of yet, an official Hindu empire.
GENGHIS: And that’s how it’s staying. Sanity will rule this empire, not religious yield or whatever it was.

 

[Pacifist46]

200BC

Ialbuk calls a triumphant meeting in the council yurt.

IALBUK: At last! I believe our economic problems may be solved!
GENGHIS: At last is damn right. I can’t remember the last time you made one of your advancements.
IALBUK: Need I remind the council that it was our magnificent leader’s brainwave to slash the science budget so that the army could be maintained, therefore stifling my scientific genius.
GENGHIS: I’ll stifle your breathing in a minute. Look, the army needed paying and why do you need a science budget anyway? You should still be able to think straight.
IALBUK: I needed to finance expeditions and the like.
ISHAK: So, did you like come up with summat?
IALBUK: Indeed I did.

Ialbuk reaches into the folds of his tunic and retrieves a small piece of paper with some fancy printing on it.

GENGHIS: Woo-hoo. Label me unimpressed . . . wait, is that a picture of me on that paper?
IALBUK: Indeed it is, in fact there are five different kinds of these notes which I have produced, and each of the council members is on one.
GENGHIS: Bet mine is worth the most!
IALBUK: Actually sire, I decided to use your picture on the lowest denomination note.
GENGHIS: Aargh! There better be a good reason!
IALBUK: Well there are more of these notes, so more people will be using them.
GENGHIS: Ha! I rule!
GRIZNAKH: All very well and good, but they don’t look edible.
IALBUK: The main reason for that is because they’re not. Surprise!
KOLAI: Then what? Are you suggesting we should kill our enemies with paper cuts?
IALBUK: No I am bloody not, now let me explain! These will act as a single item of a value unvarying across the empire. The introduction of such a single economic unit, or currency, will standardise prices and stabilise the economic cycle. I call this new currency the ghengon.
GENGHIS: Hmm . . . in my opinion as a well-respected economist, this may work, and it may not. And it may also do some unpredictable third thing.
IALBUK: What a gem. Can I write that down? I’m writing a book.
GENGHIS: Absolutely. People should know what a great economist I am. In fact, I think my opinion isn’t asked nearly as much as it should be. Anyway, I’m off to print me some of these beauties!

Genghis exits the yurt

GRIZNAKH: So what’s your book called?
IALBUK: 1001 Humourous Quotes from Unaware Anonymous Idiots. Although I’m thinking of changing it, because I’m not quoting multiple idiots.
ISHAK: Ha! Sounds well awesome blood!
IALBUK: I’m thinking of saving some to make a daily calendar, when I finally research Calendar, that is.
KOLAI: Just one question Ialbuk. Is the bandit problem solved now?
IALBUK: Oh yeah, they all went and got jobs as regional currency distributors, as far as I can tell. Now all they’re pillaging is the state treasury.

The introduction of the new currency gave a much needed boost to the economy and the Mongolian empire entered into a period of relative prosperity again.

 

[Pacifist46]

175BC

Julius Caesar turns up, looking to trade.

CAESAR: Consider yourself lucky, barbarian. In your aimless meanderings you happen to have come across something I could use; Mysticism.
GENGHIS: Ha! And you’re not having it! There’s definitely no way you can get it out of me.
CAESAR: Not even for Archery?
GENGHIS: ARCHERY! Gimme!
CAESAR: Hold on a second. I need Mysticism and 15 Gold as well.
GENGHIS: Yeah, whatever, just hand over your Archery!
CAESAR: Very well.

The trade is made

CAESAR: HA! Barbarian impulse trading - I love it! It always gets me what I want.
GENGHIS: You can say what you like, but you certainly screwed this trade up. I would have done it for 20 Gold as well.
CAESAR: Drat. I missed out on the chance to deprive Mongolia of its annual budget.
GENGHIS: Annual science budget maybe, but our army would annihilate your forces on any battlefield.
CAESAR: Maybe, but that’s why I use bribery.

 

[Pacifist46]

150BC

Priesthood is unveiled by Ialbuk

IALBUK: Since you lot get impatient waiting for high-cost techs to be researched, I decided to quickly do Priesthood.
GENGHIS: Right, so what do we get to do?
IALBUK: Well, we could have built the Oracle, if it hadn’t already been built.
GENGHIS: Or if we had wanted to waste valuable hammers on tech! So anything decent?
IALBUK: We could build a temple, if we were religious.
GENGHIS: Which, thank God, most of us aren’t so soppy. So basically, this tech is about as useful as a Zimbabwean dollar.
IALBUK: It leads on to better things. And it was short.
GENGHIS: True, it was short.
IALBUK: Anyway, I got some useful tech earlier on through a trade I negotiated with Saladin.
GENGHIS: WHAT? I don’t remember being consulted on this.
IALBUK: Erm . . . well I rang the palace, but, erm, your secretary said you were entertaining.
GENGHIS: Really? Possible I suppose. I am an entertaining guy!
KOLAI: Do you even have a secretary, my lord?
GENGHIS: What? No, I don’t. Why do you ask?
KOLAI: Erm . . . oh damn, I’ve forgotten.
GENGHIS: Well it can’t have been that important then. So Ialbuk, what did you get from the Sultana of Araisin of whatever his name is?
IALBUK: I gave him the currency idea . . . and in return I got Meditation and Monarchy!
GENGHIS: Ha! He certainly screwed up then, we got two techs and he only got one. What a loser! I shall have to arrange a visit to rub it in his face.
IALBUK: The good thing about Monarchy is it allows us to adopt Hereditary Rule. It ensures your rule, and all the people want is a good military and they’ll be happy.
GENGHIS: I like the sound of that! What about Meditation.
IALBUK: Erm . . . is that a ghengan dollar on the floor?

 

[Pacifist46]

100BC

Yet more trades are negotiated in Mongolia

GENGHIS: Look, Socky boy, us Mongols are master negotiators, which means we know when you’re trying to screw us over. We’ve done more tech trades in the last few turns than Mansa Musa in the market with a monopoly on Metal Casting.
ASOKA: So why not do one more then?
GENGHIS: Because Ialbuk said that Alphabet is worth far more than Masonry.
ASOKA: Fine, you’re right. I’ll do it for Priesthood.
GENGHIS: Ha! Ialbuk said that would be a good trade for us!
ASOKA: What? In that case, that last offer is rescinded.
GENGHIS: Damn! Fine. How about Meditation?
ASOKA: What the hell? What did the Mongols research Meditation for?
GENGHIS: We didn’t, we nicked it off Sultana Salad on the cheap. Us Mongols are great at snapping up bargains.
ASOKA: Fine. Meditation for Masonry it is.
GENGHIS: Good man!

Asoka exits the yurt

GENGHIS: So then guys, let’s get the old map of the empire out.

Ishak reaches under the table, and brings out a huge scroll, which unravels to show a depiction of the world known to the Mongols.

ISHAK: So, we are like masters of this coast, well sound ennit, and we got like loads of land to be fair. Then we got India in this small area to the south of them mountains like, and then its like Persia west of them.
GENGHIS: What’s this blank bit in the middle?
ISHAK: Our scouts haven’t like found a way to penetrate them mountains yet.
GENGHIS: They better find one, or I’ll penetrate their eyeballs.
GRIZNAKH: Hold on a second. Genghis, you’re not looking for another target to attack are you? Because for heavens sake it looks all to much like you are planning an invasion of India, and, well, any risk to our beef supply would be trag . . . erm, I mean, inadvisable, given the state of the econommumma . . .

Griznakh’s voice trails off as Genghis throws him a withering look

GENGHIS: Actually, before we attack India . . .
IALBUK: So, we delay the inevitable.
GENGHIS: . . . I was just looking to see where I could found some new cities myself. You know, now the economy’s almost coping tolerably, I thought we could throw a few more down.
IALBUK: Madness! That will kill our technology and throw so far backward we’ll still be using bows and arrows in the 20th century!
GENGHIS: The what? That sounded like gibberish to me. What’s wrong with bows anyway?
KOLAI: Yeah, I don’t reckon it’s possible to make a better weapon.
IALBUK: Gaah! You said that about clubs!
GENGHIS: And anyway, if your currency thing can’t cope, then I don’t see how it’s my fault. All I want is more land . . .

 

[Pacifist46]

So I bet none of you actually thought I'd get that done
Look out for the next update before the turn of the year.

 

[DroopyTofu]

Awesome. Thanks Pacifist!

 

[Pacifist46]

You're welcome

 

[Jynx]

Wow! You have the same style as me, but with less pictures, your S&T's are awesome!

 

[Pacifist46]

Thank you very much! It'd be great if you could post some of yours on here?

 

[Kullervo]

Great story, I am really enjoying it. I'm thinking of starting up a Earth 18 game as the mongols myself (although I won't do a story).

Quick question... do you read Terry Pratchett? Because the dialogues sometimes sound like Fred and Nobby from his Discworld series (DISCLAIMER: no implications of plagiarism have been made).

 

[Jynx]

My stories are for the TotalWar game series, but I've got a bit bored of that and I'm gonna wait until I've got a bit better at this game until I write one for Civ, which I probably will.

 

[Pacifist46]

Great story, I am really enjoying it. I'm thinking of starting up a Earth 18 game as the mongols myself (although I won't do a story).

Quick question... do you read Terry Pratchett? Because the dialogues sometimes sound like Fred and Nobby from his Discworld series (DISCLAIMER: no implications of plagiarism have been made).

Actually I haven't read him, although maybe I'd enjoy them! Thanks for your post.

@Jynx - Ah! Thinking about it, Total War would kind of lend itself to storytelling! (Rome would anyway, Medieval II doesn't run on my laptop)
I'd be interested in checking them out if you have a link?

 

[Jynx]

I never actually managed to finish any, as I always got bored of the currunt campaign, or the save file corrupted, or the game stopped running (as in Empire:TotalWar), But here they are:

1, German (spent too long on everything, turn 33 in 12 updates)

2, Cherokee

3, Irish

4, Polish

The last 2 aren't very long as I made them when I was beginning to lose interest in the game.

If I make one here, I promise that I will try to finish it. (this will be easier as Civ games go quicker than TW.

 

[Pacifist46]

Awesome! Look forward to seeing your stories on the forum in due course; there's been a distinct dearth of good ones lately.
Update is coming tomorrow, when I have more time to post it in its entirety.

 

[Pacifist46]

VI - Expansion Is Good When You’re Winning​

50BC

GENGHIS: I am proud to announce that the Mongol population has surpassed the one million mark! Incredible isn’t it?
GRIZNAKH: A most splendid achievement! Who would have thought that when our leader made his first foolish … I mean fabulous foray into empire management, that it would survive long enough to see this?
GENGHIS: Everyone with any sense, Griznakh. And we haven’t survived, we’ve prospered under the great reign of yours truly.
IALBUK: Prospered. That’s one way of putting it.
GENGHIS: Glad to see you agree, Ialbuk.
IALBUK: Not a very good way though. Suffered is probably more appropriate.
GENGHIS: You will be bloody suffering in a minute.

 

[Pacifist46]

1AD

The council convenes
GENGHIS: So, guys, here we are at the start of the AD years!
ISHAK: That’s well awesome! Bring ‘em on like, we’ll be dominating them in no time.
KOLAI: So what happened? I’m confused about these dates.
IALBUK: Since the BC years have ended, we have reached the AD years, the years will start going up as time progresses.
KOLAI: That’s stupid!
IABUK: To be honest, I don’t really know why it does that either.
KOLAI: What, so the next year will be 2AD?
IALBUK: Right.
KOLAI: What about after that?
IALBUK: Well, then it’ll be 3AD, of course.
KOLAI: Alright, how am I supposed to know? What about after that?
IALBUK: My god! Have a guess.
KOLAI: 7?
IALBUK: Erm, correct!
KOLAI: No it won’t be, Ialbuk, you idiot. It should be 4AD. I was testing you.
IALBUK: I know it is really!
GENGHIS: Sure you do.
IALBUK: I bloody well do! Well I bet none of you even know what AD stands for.
GENGHIS: That’s a simple one. For a start, BCE stood for Bashing in the Chine-Ese.
IALBUK: What! Did it now!
GENGHIS: And AD stands for A Domination Victory. Which is what we’ll probably be getting.
IALBUK: Right … so how come it isn’t ADV?
GENGHIS: Because that stands for A Diplomatic Victory, you imbecile. Just as well someone around here knows these things.
IALBUK: I just give up.

Cyrus enters the yurt

CYRUS: Actually, AD stands for A Dumb Leader (Is Still At Large). And BCE was Birth of a Crappy Empire.
GENGHIS: Don’t be too hard on yourself, Cyrus. Persia’s not THAT bad, or is it?
CYRUS: Thankfully, it is nowhere near as unpleasant as the squabbling squalid settlements of the East.
GENGHIS: Well at least I don’t wear perfume. You smell like an old lady.
CYRUS: Ouch. Another stinging barb from the barb king himself.
GENGHIS: Well, us so called barbarians have Currency, and you ladies don’t.
CYRUS: But I have Monotheism.
GENGHIS: Ha! That’s almost as ridiculous as Polytheism!
CYRUS: I was thinking of a trade - Monotheism + 50 Gold for Currency?
GENGHIS: More like you were dreaming of a trade. You can stop wasting your time here if that’s all you came for.
CYRUS: It is, actually.
GENGHIS: Ha! What a long, pointless trip away from home! Wife’s that bad eh? Oh sorry, husband?

The Persian leader turns and strides away through the yurt door

GENGHIS: Ha! Come on lads, you have to say I won that one.
IALBUK: Maybe on points, but you failed to land the knockout blow.
GENGHIS: Well that’s what armies are for.
GRIZNAKH: Erm … it’s as well you mentioned the army, because, erm, I have some news, which partly, erm, concerns them.
GENGHIS: You? News about the army? What happened, you commandeered the entire week’s rations from the Fourth for your evening meal?
GRIZNAKH: Oh, you heard about that. Well actually I had something else more pressing to say.
GENGHIS: Well, spit it out, for crying out loud!
GRIZNAKH: Erm … do you remember me telling you about religious zeal?
GENGHIS: Damn stupid thing, yes.
GRIZNAKH: Well, somehow it has kind of, erm, diffused into the soldiers. Hinduism is spreading, sire. Not just the army, but the citizens of Beijing, and… well, basically there’s been threats of revolt if the entire empire doesn’t turn officially Hindu.
GENGHIS: Oh are there? Well I say, LET THEM REVOLT! Kolai, prepare for CIVIC WAR!
KOLAI: It’s civil war, sire, and, well, how can I put this … no.
GENGHIS: Bloody hell, not you as well?
KOLAI: Don’t be stupid, of course not me as well. Bloody Hindus deserve a good kicking so far as I’m concerned. Unfortunately few of my men agree.
GRIZNAKH: Erm, Genghis, I already announced anyway that the empire was Hindu this morning. Nothing I could do, really.
GENGHIS: WHAT? When were you planning on telling me?
GRIZNAKH: Well actually, at first I thought I might try to, you know, sweep it under the rug and all, but then I thought I might as well tell you.
GENGHIS: Well that’s just great. Really, I mean it. I couldn’t be more thrilled.
GRIZNAKH: There are some benefits.
GENGHIS: Like what?
GRIZNAKH: The hardline Hindu priests might stop daubing your yurt with horse faeces.

 

[Pacifist46]

100AD

Ialbuk informs Genghis of another technology

IALBUK: You guys know horses, right?
ADVISORS: Yeah, of course we do.
IALBUK: Bet you never realised you could ride them.

There is a stunned silence

KOLAI: Good man! Knew there was some use to you.
GENGHIS: And your excuse to why that took 175 years to think of …?
IALBUK: It didn’t, I just thought of it last week.
GENGHIS: So WHAT have you been doing for the previous 174 years and 51 weeks?
IALBUK: Nothing useful, just … observations. But, you know, I studied the physique and natural characteristics of Mongols, and I think they’ll prove to be superb at horse-riding, in fact, we may have enough of a superiority over other races to merit a special title.
GENGHIS: For real? Those Persian Immortals do kinda scare me.
IALBUK: Well our guys should prove better.
GENGHIS: Sweet! Call them Immortal Pwners.
IALBUK: I thought I’d let Kolai choose the name.
GENGHIS: Selfish git, Ialbuk. Go on then Kolai.
KOLAI: I’ll call them Keshiks.
IALBUK: Very nice name!
KOLAI: It means Dude on Horse with Spear. That’s in the ancient language anyway.
IALBUK: The ancient language? I’ve never heard of it.
KOLAI: That’s because it’s so ancient, no-one remembers how to speak it.
IALBUK: Well you must do.
KOLAI: What? No I don’t. I’m not that old, Ialbuk.
IALBUK: Well then, how do you know that Keshik means what you said it did?
KOLAI: Well how do you know it doesn’t?
GENGHIS: Stop arguing. It’s a good name, that’s all that matters.
IALBUK: But he makes no sense whatsoever!
GENGHIS: All I can hear is “Muh-muh-muh” SHUT UP!

A young boy enters the yurt

GENGHIS: Hello lad, what do you want?
BOY: I am no lad, I am the queen of mighty Egypt! Glorious are the Hindu gods, for they have led me to you, or you to me, or whatever!
GENGHIS: Ha! You, a queen! Hahahaha!
QUEEN: Indeed I am. Is it my fault that my vegetarian diet has given me a slender frame?
GENGHIS: Slender? Honey, you’re thinner than a rake. And short enough to just about make a good side-table.
HATSHEPSUT: Do you want me to send my war chariots round here?
GENGHIS: Even better! You losers still use chariots! Us Mongols have been riding horses for CENTURIES! Although I suppose you’re too small to ride a horse.
HATSHEPSUT: Ack! Barbarian humour. I’m off!

The Egyptian queen exits swiftly

ISHAK: Lol, not too, like scary or whatever.
GENGHIS: Pushovers, I agree.

The Mongols continued as they had left off, making something, that, when observed carefully from the correct angle, almost resembled progress. Ialbuk, under the orders of Genghis, was keeping very busy designing yet more complex war machines. Kolai was drilling his warriors relentlessly, and patrolling the frontiers. Ishak continued to direct explorations from Karakorum, drawing details of the Persian lands onto his huge map. Griznakh was, erm, busy trying out new food combinations. And Genghis himself was very busy indeed . . .

 

[Pacifist46]

175AD

Genghis “invites” his advisors to a meeting.

GENGHIS: Welcome all to my new series of city placement unveilings: Expansion Is Good When You’re Winning!
IALBUK: No, no, no! More cities are the last thing we need right now.
GENGHIS: Rubbish, and anyway, it’s what we’re getting! First up: Old Sarai!