500 ways you know your computer sucks

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but if the computer doesent exsist, why are we treading all this?

#675 The background isent worthy to be made by god, maybe if god was one god on the planet of the gods, who is the creator?
Anyway, the creator of gods creators planet, he's grandmas brothers wifes nurses cousin is the creator of the background.
 
677. God says to mose: Hey, that computer is teh suxxorz!
678. It's made of vegatables
679. It's actually a postage stamp
680. It was vomited up by a crocodile
681. It's so fat that it sat on a rainbow and skittles came out
682. It's actually a waffle-iron
683. It smells like teen spirit
684. Your grandma's nurse's sister's lawer's hairdresser's psychotherapist's bishop's prostitute's father's secretary's sister's parole officer's pet monkey says that it sucks.
685. It's actually bacon
686. It's made of bacon
687. It's made of bacon with a side of bacon
689. It's actually bacon with a side of bacon
690. It has a Bacon number of 3
691. It's made of pirated copies of Micheal More's Canadian Bacon
692. It's actually Canadian Bacon
693. It was the best computer in the day of Sir Francis Bacon
694. It was manufactured in Bacon County, Georgia
695. It's actually a guide to make bacon
696. It fails to bring home the Bacon
697. Its CPU is the Communist Party of Ukraine
698. It's actually a "glade" plug-in
699. Its keyboard is a harpsichord
700. It's RAM is a Dodge
701. It's actually a book of pick-up lines
702. It's ROM is Quark's Brother
703. It's actually a jucier
704. It's developed rust spots
705. It's been designated a historical landmark
706. It's actually a Furby
707. You push a button and poop comes out
708. It doesn't work
709. It has bullet holes
710. It's actually a tamborine
712. It wears a straw hat
713. It's the best North Korea has to offer
714. It's actually an abused child
715. It is incapable of running Civ4, SiN Episodes, Tomb Raider: Legend, Final Fantasy XI, Rise of Nations and Hitman: Blood Money simultaniously
716. It's incapabable of writing formal mathematical proofs
717. It's actually a pair of trousers
718. Put in two quarters and it vibrates!
719. Its screen size is 1x1
720. It's actually a pig with a wig
721. It doesn't know who John Lennon was
722. It smells of the poops
723. It's actually Will Farrel
724. It once was lost but now is found
725. It once was lost at the lost and found
726. It's actually a Big Mac
727. It's made of turds
 
NikNaks93 said:
It seems to be a lot of things for such a crummy computer...
I didn't say it is more than any one of those things at once, silly.

728. It's actually a Furby
 
732. It use's a flashing screen to hynotise you.
733. The keyboard is actually piano keys.
734. The RAM is a goat with horns, running a generator.
735. The CPU is the Crappy Perverted User.
736. The CD is a Crashing Device.
737. A ROM is a ******** Octopus Machine.
738. The Monitor is 1x1 because it's really a supervisor to make sure the other parts crash.
739. The Floppy disk is really a black piece of bread.
740. The speakers have little gremlins inside that magnify their voice.
741. The volume knob is really a torture device to make the gremlins yell louder.
742. Your headphones were actually a prototype to speak with the gremlins, but the microphone broke.
743. The Motherboard is the main crasher.
744. The MB means Mofo *****.
745. GB means Greedy Bastards.
746. KB means Krap Boards.
747. The computer is made out of wood.
 
751. Its powered by two potatos
 
757. It feeds on postcounts.
 
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