A brief illustrated overview of English history

Lone Wolf

Dec 4, 2006
This was played with K-Mod, Prince level, to avenge my previous Noble defeat as Portugal.

Archeologists still debate whether the peoples of the river Thames who built the Stonehedge were Anglo-Saxons or their mysterious predecessors. It is known, however, that the mystical stones played an important role in early pagan spiritual life of the people of London - the first settlement to arise in the cold part of the European continent.

The conquest of Anglo-Saxon England by Afonso the Warlike, a Portuguese claimant to the English throne, introduced the benefits and drawbacks of a proper feudal system to the land.

The newly established Royal Swordsmen levies conquered the Hitties for England.

English court under King William IV sponsored seafaring expeditions, revealing the whole world to England for the first time.

King Shaka's attempt to conquer England failed at the gates of Hattusas. His primitively-equipped troops were unable to break the ranks of famed English mailmen. The English soon went on a major offensive, resulting in Shaka being forced to accept his kingdom's status as a vassal of England.

Of all foreign empires, Mali was the most impressive to English explorers. As one of them wrote, "Truly, the Malinese are as splendorous and magnificent in regards to us, as we are to the subjugated Zulus".

In 1585, using the excuse of a trade dispute concocted by the Prime Minister William Dudley, England invaded Portugal, turning its back on the ancient usurpation by Alfonso.

The backwards Portuguese army had only ancient longbows as its best defensive units. The remnants of Portugal were granted autonomy, and the Kingdom of England, Zululand and Portugal, or Great Britain was proclaimed.

Eventually, the capitalistic ruling circles of Britain decided to subjugate the advanced, but peaceful Malinese society. Malinese super-advanced industry, after all, threatened the profits of British merchants and industrialists.

It was not easy, however, to fight Malinese gunmen. A lot of people in red died storming highly sophisticated "Mansa Musa" - model forts.

The entrance of Babylonia on Malinese side in the war resulted in a temporary peace, with the British managing to hold only the settlement of Gao.

But two centuries later, the stubborn British bulldog had its revenge, both on Mali and on Babylonia. British soldiery willingness to fight for new overseas possessions and markets was legendary. Even the growing global warning threat didn't stop their masters from desiring new industrial bases, new captive consumers, new areas painted pink on the map.

This stopped the dangerous threat of a potential Malinese Space Program.

Advanced and rich as they were, Malinese scientists dangerously neglected tank production technology, perfected by the British.

When the whole planet was not enough, Her Majesty's Government started a space program to acquire new resources, and, hopefully, new sentient aliens to work in factories and consume these goods (the British establishment was nothing if not Fordist). The growing threat of global warming only further spurned the space program.

At that moment, the only nation other than Britain to escape subjugation or vassalage was Korea with its client kingdom of China. But even the Koreans couldn't overcome Brits in the space race.

And thus, the United Kingdom was about to become the United Kosmos...

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