How do we cheer up the English?

Narz

keeping it real
Joined
Jun 1, 2002
Messages
30,783
Location
Haverhill, UK

The United Kingdom was recently ranked in a global survey as the second-worst place in the world for mental well-being. The only country that scored lower was Uzbekistan. Two countries currently at war—Yemen and Ukraine—scored higher happiness levels than us poor beleaguered Brits.

The Mental State of The World, from U.S. think tank Sapien Labs, questioned more than 400,000 people from 71 countries. The U.K. scored a measly 49 on a Mental Health Quotient (MHQ) scale that ranged from -100 (distressed) to 200 (thriving), with 35% of the British population reporting at the "distressed" end of the scale.
 
Arrange for them to be moved out of drizzly England, I suppose.
 
Booting the Tories out of power and not re-electing any of them until they're good and sorry (i.e. most likely never!) would probably be a good start...
 
More sunny weather? 🤷‍♂️
 
Remind them that David Cameron is the first former PM to be raised to the peerage since Margaret Thatcher.
Show them a funny photo.
blair_drnapalm.jpg
 
Abolish beans on toast, for one. I can't imagine a more depressing breakfast


Think the ANZACs have largely evolved past that abomination.

Their food and weather would do my head in. Their fish and chips are an abomination.
 
A massive global conspiracy to allow the English side to win the 2026 World Cup.

1. England gets drawn into a group with the United States. They'd beat us anyway, but we could make it a good drubbing, 4-0 or something. Also, one of our players would get away with an egregious foul that the referee somehow doesn't see.
2. Also in the group stage, England wins a nail-biter against one of the legit contenders, 1-0 over Agentina or Portugal. Maybe it's even the Group of Death, and they win another white-knuckle match, 2-1, against a solid, 2nd-tier side, maybe Croatia or Senegal.
3. In the final, they face France, winning 3-2 in extra time after going down 2-0 in the first half. Paris burns.
 
Drink less?

Seems a pretty common theme with the heavy drinkers. If there was a problem before, drinking usually makes it worse. If there wasn't a problem, booze can certainly come up with one.

Beans on toast are wonderful. No worse than avocado on bread, except I guess it's minus the bouge.
 
I must admit, a part of me is not surprised. Online at least, they've always seemed to be a very self-loathing people. Is this all for playing second-stringer to the US?
My guess “we’re bummed the British Empire has fallen”. 🤔
 
I think you can safely question the rankings result of this survey; it gathered its data via online surveys in 79 select nations, which means that only people with access to internet responded.
So almost 100% of the UK population could theoretically participate, - as an example - while less than 40% of the population in Angola could do the same, because the poorest people in Angola have no internet access in their daily lives. So that segment and how they would respond to the survey is not included in the result.

But yeah, the weather in the UK is pretty dreadful :smug:
 
Drink less?

Seems a pretty common theme with the heavy drinkers. If there was a problem before, drinking usually makes it worse. If there wasn't a problem, booze can certainly come up with one.

Beans on toast are wonderful. No worse than avocado on bread, except I guess it's minus the bouge.

We inherited the British menu.

Beans on toast were more common can't remember last time I aw it though.

English big breakfast has become kiwi big breakfast. Few of then come with baked beans and the ones I've seen are sold as English breakfasts.
Replaced with something else eg mushrooms, corn fritters, steak or whatever.

We have pies and sausage rolls as well but filling and styles are different.
 
We're slowly, on the whole, realising our current government sold us a massive lie. Stuff's difficult (prices are sky-high, there's a recession nobody wants to call a recession), but worst of all we have to queue in the Bad Queue to holiday to Europe. The horror.
 
We inherited the British menu.

Beans on toast were more common can't remember last time I aw it though.

English big breakfast has become kiwi big breakfast. Few of then come with baked beans and the ones I've seen are sold as English breakfasts.
Replaced with something else eg mushrooms, corn fritters, steak or whatever.

We have pies and sausage rolls as well but filling and styles are different.
If I were to go by Ben and David (married couple from England who have a cruise channel), all anyone eats for breakfast in England is porridge, smoked salmon, avocado toast, Eggs Benedict, and fancy donuts (Ben calls it "breakfast cake").

Oh, and coffee. Ben is completely addicted to coffee.
 
We're slowly, on the whole, realising our current government sold us a massive lie. Stuff's difficult (prices are sky-high, there's a recession nobody wants to call a recession), but worst of all we have to queue in the Bad Queue to holiday to Europe. The horror.

Brexits most obvious one but the predated that.

At least you get to hote out your clowns this year probably 5 years for us (2 years minimum).
 
If I were to go by Ben and David (married couple from England who have a cruise channel), all anyone eats for breakfast in England is porridge, smoked salmon, avocado toast, Eggs Benedict, and fancy donuts (Ben calls it "breakfast cake").

Oh, and coffee. Ben is completely addicted to coffee.

Nothing wrong with eggs benefict;).

I eat porridge as well (more for diet reasons vs choice).
20240224_083635.jpg
 
I never actually knew what Eggs Benedict was until they were shown in one of the cruise videos.
 
“Greater wealth and economic development do not necessarily lead to greater mental well-being,” wrote the report’s authors.
Bet they didn’t write how much they make in a year.
 
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