A tale about a wife, her husband... and making sandwiches.

[Manfred Belheim]

I'm curious as to how many people in this thread are now in the "you obviously hate women" pigeonhole.

 

[Oerdin]

Why... Everyone who disagrees with him, of course.

It is his cop out whenever he loses arguments.

 

[Gori the Grey]

The core of my view was stated by Robo-star: it was partly the phrasing of the question that drew the impassioned responses.

I would further observe, though, that most of the cited responses do just answer the question--"I don't do this for my hubbie"--without telling the original poster that she shouldn't, or that women in general shouldn't.

I agree also with GS that the internet is a cancerous cesspool, and that the inherent depravity of mankind, amplified by the anonymity provided by the internet, regularly drives conversations in unfruitful directions. What one would have liked is a first responder who said "you've phrased your question in such a way as to suggest that mums routinely make lunches for their hubbies, and you should probably be aware, as I'm sure that you in fact are, that that is not the case in all domestic arrangements, and that there are some who find the assumption that that is, or should be, or must be the case, offensive."

But of course, no one ever gets gracious, well-mannered responses on the internet.

 

[metalhead]

It's funny that you accuse others of inventing a movement, when you are the one pretending the fringe movements make up the big bulk of feminism. Have a look at the big feminist websites, and compare how many articles there are about child marriage, and how many there are about "Microaggressions", and similar meaningless crap that you can only care about if you're in a privileged position. Just read the articles on the main page of some of the major feminist magazines.

Just an example of everydayfeminism:
"3 Ways Microaggressions In The Workplace Got Worse After Trump"
"I Didn’t Know My Boyfriend Was Abusive Since He Never Hit Me"
"These Facts Prove Everything You Know About Weight Loss Is a Lie"
"How Men Can Better Recognize and Interrupt Everyday Sexual Harassment"
"Is Your Halloween Costume Racist?"
"4 Ways Therapists Failed Me As a Woman"

Doesn't that just spell self-centered, middle-class woman who just wants to be told how much of a victim she is? Nobody denies (at least I hope nobody does) that there are people who identify as feminists and do things that are actually important, but to pretend that the self-absorbed, all-about-me feminism that doesn't care a bit about people with actual problems "doesn't actually exist" is ridiculous. Of course it exists, and it dominates all major feminist platforms on the internet.

Oh, well, if it's on the Internet then

 

[Broken_Erika]

I'm curious as to how many people in this thread are now in the "you obviously hate women" pigeonhole.

Because pigeonholes are comfy.

 

[Arent11]

I'm pretty sure you're just making stuff up.

For example in Germany we have Alice Schwarzer, Necla Kelek, Seyran Ates, formerly also Ayaan Hirsi Ali (Who now emigrated to USA). All of them started off as leftist feminists. Then however, they criticized forced marriages & honor killings in immigrant communities & opposed transgender, arguing that it damages their cause (Which it does, because people start to mix up classical feminism with that bullfeathers). They were immediately attacked as "right wing" & stuff.

Which is, by the way, also one of the causes for the surge of right wing parties in Europe. Because all the credible people, no matter whether in feminism, euro, economics, social politics or immigration have meanwhile been called "right wing".

 

[civvver]

Cold pizza is disgusting and must not be eaten by anyone. I would only seriously consider eating it if I had no other food in the house and no way to warm it.

I should also add that some people feel you can't mess up pizza. I beg to differ. I have eaten pizza at work that was absolutely disgusting. I can't imagine how much worse it would have been if it had been cold. Not all pizza is good.

I think it very much depends on the type of pizza. And your reheating method. Microwaved pizza is horrid. Reheated in an oven or toaster is fine.

 

[Ryika]

Oh, well, if it's on the Internet then

Yeah, where else do you think most people get in contact with feminism? The big internet presences are by far the largest communities of mainstream feminism. What do you think it should be judged by?

 

[Terxpahseyton]

But of course, no one ever gets gracious, well-mannered responses on the internet.

I have seen many over the years on here
And also on other forums, for that matter.

 

[Arent11]

I have seen many over the years on here
And also on other forums, for that matter.

There is a big difference between the Scythian hordes of your little brother laying siege to your capital or
the actual scythian hordes of the real world trying to destroy your actual village What I want to say is
that politics or religion always lead to clashes.

I agree also with GS that the internet is a cancerous cesspool, and that the inherent depravity of mankind, amplified by the anonymity provided by the internet, regularly drives conversations in unfruitful directions. What one would have liked is a first responder who said "you've phrased your question in such a way as to suggest that mums routinely make lunches for their hubbies, and you should probably be aware, as I'm sure that you in fact are, that that is not the case in all domestic arrangements, and that there are some who find the assumption that that is, or should be, or must be the case, offensive."

There is nothing wrong with a little argument. Furthermore, you should never forget that you "pick your own opponents" Simply respond only to people whose replies you like. It works surprisingly well.

 

[Oerdin]

Because pigeonholes are comfy.

Yep, you don't even have to think or reflect on the actual evidence much less what people actually said. That is why some people love them so much.

Beware those people.

 

[Narz]

The questions in the OP seem terribly out of proportion with the scenario presented in the post.

On Facebook, it always helps to provide context. The way the question was asked is ambiguous - yes the women jumped to conclusions, but the way the question was asked invited it.

I mean, if he does have time to do stuff around the house he can make his own lunch, yes? I don't see that as a bad suggestion. Rejigger the division of labor so husband is responsible for his own lunch. Then wife is relieved from the burden of having to make sure the lunch is acceptable. Speaking as the one responsible for cooking dinner for my family most nights, this is not an insignificant thing.

At this point, I am pretty sure you have no idea what you are talking about.

Only at the point?

 

[Narz]

Of course. It directly relates to the gender binary which many feminists seek to dismantle.

Feminists seem to focus pretty heavily on the gender binary.

 

[Manfred Belheim]

I mean, if he does have time to do stuff around the house he can make his own lunch, yes? I don't see that as a bad suggestion. Rejigger the division of labor so husband is responsible for his own lunch. Then wife is relieved from the burden of having to make sure the lunch is acceptable. Speaking as the one responsible for cooking dinner for my family most nights, this is not an insignificant thing.

The OP doesn't make any statements about the division of labour in he household, or make mention of how much (or little) time he has to do stuff around the house. So why is it reasonable to assume that something unfair must be happening that needs to be fixed?

Even after she expanded on her home situation after all the replies, she said that he worked a physically demanding job and did chores around the house and cooked meals. Is this what you meant by has time to do "stuff" around the house? Stuff = other chores? What is the benefit to either of them if he trades some other chore for sandwich making? Why would anyone even think it was their place to start dictating how other people run their home lives based on such little information? To say that she invited this from her phrasing is simply not true at all.

 

[rah]

Well if this place is any example, there are always people that are willing to provide expert advice without any real understanding of the situation.