A tale about a wife, her husband... and making sandwiches.

[Oerdin]

Marriage is about two people trying to build a partnership so the whole family unit can get ahead and live a better life. You have to be a team or it won't work.

I got a good laugh at "I was married..." and other such comments. Maybe if she treated her husband better she would still be married instead of "was", past tense. Classical feminism was a great thing, it was all about choice, now... Not so much. Now it has become a lot of fringe extremists who just hate males and if you see who attends meetings at groups like the National Organization of Women (NOW) you see a lot of militant lesbians who have a viseral hatred of all men. That is not the way it is supposed to be any more than men's groups shouldn't be about bashing woman. Some where the regular voices got drowned out by the extremists and that is never a good thing.

 

[Camikaze]

North Shore Mums

All you need to know, really. Should be surprised there aren't more comments querying why the personal chef isn't making the sandwiches.

Although boo for linking a Miranda Devine article. I now suspect the whole thing is made up in a bid to discredit feminists or anyone else who has escaped from the 50s.

 

[Manfred Belheim]

Why do I have the suspicion that there would be no problem from the feminist camp if I were to do this? (And the first person to say that it's because all feminists are man-hating lesbians gets smacked in the head and reported.)

Maybe feminists are all sandwich-hating lesbians?

 

[metalhead]

The questions in the OP seem terribly out of proportion with the scenario presented in the post.

On Facebook, it always helps to provide context. The way the question was asked is ambiguous - yes the women jumped to conclusions, but the way the question was asked invited it.

I mean, if he does have time to do stuff around the house he can make his own lunch, yes? I don't see that as a bad suggestion. Rejigger the division of labor so husband is responsible for his own lunch. Then wife is relieved from the burden of having to make sure the lunch is acceptable. Speaking as the one responsible for cooking dinner for my family most nights, this is not an insignificant thing.

 

[Gen.Mannerheim]

The questions in the OP seem terribly out of proportion with the scenario presented in the post.

On Facebook, it always helps to provide context. The way the question was asked is ambiguous - yes the women jumped to conclusions, but the way the question was asked invited it.

I mean, if he does have time to do stuff around the house he can make his own lunch, yes? I don't see that as a bad suggestion. Rejigger the division of labor so husband is responsible for his own lunch. Then wife is relieved from the burden of having to make sure the lunch is acceptable. Speaking as the one responsible for cooking dinner for my family most nights, this is not an insignificant thing.

But the question she asked was "we're getting kinda tired of sandwiches, anybody have any other ideas on what works in a packed lunch?" (my translation )

Never does the OP make out like its a burden nor asks if other people do. Just like the famous Godwin's Law arguing that if given the opportunity, a Youtube comment section will always come to involve the Nazis regardless of the video content, it is often not the posters fault for turning their original conversation into something else.

 

[metalhead]

"We're getting kind of tired of sandwiches" means "he is getting kind of tired of sandwiches." As a habitual meal-maker for other people, I would kill to be able to make sandwiches every day. Hyperbole? Sure, but only a little, that's the messed up part.

I'm speaking from my own experience here, as I'm sure the moms in that group likewise tend to do - it's pretty much the entire point of a parents' group (unless the group exists for the purpose of drinking or taking drugs). That this group is on Facebook makes it pretty unlikely that the purpose is the latter. Making things for other people is always fraught with the dynamic of wanting them to like it. What kind of sociopath makes meals for people and has no interest in whether the meal was acceptable?

 

[civvver]

Even men doing it the wrong way?

my wife hates when I fold the kids laundry cus it's always the "wrong" way.

 

[Gen.Mannerheim]

What kind of sociopath makes meals for people and has no interest in whether the meal was acceptable?

The lunch ladies at my old high school (and they were all ladies at that time). It might have been the management while I was at the school, or it might have been all those "healthy lunches" directives from Laura Bush; but the entire staff seemed almost gleeful in not caring about what they were providing the students. I quite literally skipped almost 95% of my lunch breaks my senior year, as my friends and I would sneak out and run to some of the food chains near by.

 

[metalhead]

Most lunch ladies don't write the lunch menus. It's not up to them what the kids are eating.

Also I'm very much not on board with lunch lady:student::husband:wife.

 

[Gen.Mannerheim]

Most lunch ladies don't write the lunch menus. It's not up to them what the kids are eating.

Also I'm very much not on board with lunch lady:student::husband:wife.

I wasn't trying to make a direct comparison between lunch ladies and wives, just a general humorous comment on an example of indifference in food preparation.

 

[Traitorfish]

Classical feminism was a great thing, it was all about choice, now... Not so much. Now it has become a lot of fringe extremists who just hate males and if you see who attends meetings at groups like the National Organization of Women (NOW) you see a lot of militant lesbians who have a viseral hatred of all men.

I mean, dudes like you were pretty convinced that classical feminists were a bunch of crazy man-haters, too. You've just revised your expectations, so the first and early second waves no longer appear as an inconvenience.

 

[metalhead]

Which is A. convenient so as to appear more reasonable on the topic than one actually is, and B. kind of the point of shrill, over-the-top voices. I think we've covered here ad nauseum the idea that radicals are an integral part of any movement for social change for exactly this reason. If this crazy lady over here is saying we need to throw every man out of government entirely, violently if necessary, suddenly the lady explaining how important it is to have more equal female representation in government seems pretty reasonable.

 

[Ryika]

I mean, dudes like you were pretty convinced that classical feminists were a bunch of crazy man-haters, too.

And many of them were. Early feminism was good nonetheless, because it removed some of the major inequalities between the sexes. I have no doubt that the third wave will also be remembered for the things it helped achieve, but of course that does not change that mainstream feminism is mostly a garbage pile, and many of the people who are attracted to the movement have terrible attitudes towards men and society as a whole, and believe in conspiracy theories about mystical forces that hold down women even if there is no active discrimination to be found.

It's not that there's anything wrong with feminism, it's just that tons of terrible people are attracted to it because it gives them an easy way to live out their hateful tendencies.

 

[metalhead]

Ah, the old "she secretly wanted it" ethos.

 

[Ryika]

Ah, the old "she secretly wanted it" ethos.

Please explain to mean what you're referring to. I literally can't tell which part of my post you've misunderstood.

 

[metalhead]

I haven't misunderstood any of it.

 

[Ryika]

I think it's not up to you to decide if you understood correctly what I tried to say, because I think the only person who knows with certainty what I meant is myself.

So how about you stop being so vague and actually say what you think I have said that boils down to "she secretly wanted it"?

 

[metalhead]

All I have to work with is what you write. I cannot divine your intent, but to the extent what you wrote does not reflect your intended message, that couldn't possibly be my fault.

 

[Ryika]

I think you realized you had misread my post after I made my first response and that's why you're avoiding an actual answer now. Don't worry, that happens sometimes. Would have been a lot easier - and would have shown more character strength - if you had just admitted that, but oh well.

 

[sophie]

Man, I really thought this thread was going to go in a different direction.