A Tale of One City [Game Thread]

[Askthepizzaguy]

Let's go with the jerk theory. I rather like that idea... Allow me to throw myself in character with a satirical poem about how awesome I am. It's about time I gave that Askthepizzaguy character a good character assassination anyway.

I've pulled off gambits as scum that would puzzle John Nunn
I've reversed pizza wagons launched by townie scanners
I've done stupendous feats, and you just can't compete
I've made mincemeat of townies aplenty
I've vigged nothing but guilty bums and survived till we're done
I'm the most dangerous vanilla townie
One time I bluffed I was a cop, and I still caught a scum
I'm outrageous, incorrigible, and clowny
I've went years at a time where innocents just couldn't find
A clue leading to my untimely demise... as a scum
I've played the game in such fantastical ways
That they said that my grapes were like diamonds
I've fought scum tooth and nail ever since Lunar Whale
And been scummy since The Prometheus

Oh Pizza, Great Pizza
Your crust is like heaven, your sauce is divine
You're cheesier than all of Wisconsin.

You've admitted your scum when you were genuine scum
And they passed it off like it was a joke
You're the master of that timeless WIFOM
A really quite fascinating bloke
A master of bluffing, with supreme aggression
Giving scums a beatdown, kicking out their stuffing
An enigma of infinite regression
Great master mafia, adored even by your detractors
You control all the minds that you please
Everyone does what you say, it's always been that way
Your mind's like a warp-speed trapeze
And you think it's quite quaint when the ladies all faint
At the mere thought of the honor of sniffing your taint
Really, Pizza guy IS this self-absorbed.
Even now, they'll all think
This has gotta be some trick
Yes, it's WIFOM upon WIFOM galore
He's too clever, they will say, so lynch pizza today
Before he embarrasses us more!
Yes ladies and gentlemen, the caricature's complete
This is exactly how I'd behave as scum
I'm so brimming with confidence I'll tell you how I'll beat you
And then you'll applaud as I do.
Why it fits that image I have of this pizzaguy
Whose head's as big as the moon.

Surely this is what Pizza would do if he were scum in this game.

"It's nonsense!"

"It won't work!"

"Or will it bring fame?"​

So when I vote for Pizza, I'm telling the town
That I'm far too frightened of this one mortal man
For even after posting this poem I'm absolutely sure
That it's all just part of his sinister plan.
Everyone always falls for his tricks
So let's string him up quick
Before the "pied" piper tricks us again.

The other thing I'm known for, I do throw in the towel
I like leaving teammates high and dry
I'm such a bad sport, always on report
For abandoning games without saying why
I sign up for things and don't try
Yes ladies and scums
This is just what I'd do
If I drew the mafia role
Why, I'd poke NinjaCow in the eye, and then not even try
To take credit for his death with a vote!
I'd defend TigBitty and not even go for a winny
Saying "lynch me next, townie fools"
Yes silly townies this is how Pizza plays
It's WIFOM and WIFOM that goes on for days
Mama mia!
So lynch me my friends, before I trick you again.
Just... Vote... Pizza.


Or may sanity prevail o'er this satirical tale
And realize I'm just an unlucky player here.

Understand that I'm just being sarcastic
Because I'm not very enthusiastic
You'll ever realize there's a townie in here...
Somewhere.

 

[Jarrema]

I waft my genitalia in your general direction.

It was REALLy scary.
I think I undestand power of the Dark Side now

 

[Askthepizzaguy]

In all seriousness, Askthepizzaguy Mergle. Come on. Get him please.

 

[Askthepizzaguy]

The lightsabers in my junk said so.

 

[Joecoolyo]

I'm assuming you put a lot of work into that ATPG, so I'll vote for you just so that effort doesn't go to waste.

vote:ATPG

 

[Kennigit]

Seriously I'm the last mafia, lynch me and win.

quit saying that. there are 4 lights mafia.

landlubber

 

[Kennigit]

On the other hand, if ATPG is the last mafia and so landlubber comes up innocent, ATPG is our next suspect and we take him down.

he can't be.

 

[BSmith1068]

vote: landlubber. Pizza can wait until tomorrow.

 

[Verarde]

vote: landlubber

Sorry, lubbie.

 

[landlubber]

Sorry, lubbie.

It's all good. I don't blame you; I'd probably do the same in your place.
As for who I'll vote for? I have no earthly idea. I'm not getting a clear reading on Pizza's behavior, and no one else is really standing out. So, I'm going to wait for a little bit before casting my vote.

 

[Diana Abnoba]

Town, this game has 4 mafia total, so there is 2 more you need to find. Stay the course, don't let the Pizzadude mess with your head. He can wait til the next phase, if you need to shut him up!!! On and on and on he goes, again. (I understand cause right now I would want to vote to lynch him just to shut him up. )

 

[Askthepizzaguy]

Town, this game has 4 mafia total, so there is 2 more you need to find. Stay the course, don't let the Pizzadude mess with your head. He can wait til the next phase, if you need to shut him up!!! On and on and on he goes, again. (I understand cause right now I would want to vote to lynch him just to shut him up. )

I have a better idea: Lynch Mergle. He's pretending to think when he posts, but if you read it carefully, you can see how fake his thoughts are. He's like some sort of multicellular life form devoid of a central nervous system, pretending to be something other than the tree that he is.

Trees are dangerous and must be cut down before they fall on us.

In english: He wants to line up the next several lynches in a row so they're automatic. They will all be wrong. PRESSURE HIM.

 

[Askthepizzaguy]

I presume this is supposed to be sarcasm?

My current view is this: If ATPG is mafia, he's been dealt a bad hand and played it as best he could.

This is why it is acting.

First sentence: Directed toward Askthepizzaguy, rhetorical question unlikely to generate discussion
Second sentence: Directed toward group, attempt to sound like he's being reasonable.

There's a clear break in the flow of the thought process, followed by a classic scum maneuver which is to sound calm, clear headed and reasonable so he blends in and becomes less controversial.

Trying to take credit for ninjacow despite not having actually done anything to get ninja lynched (other than being voted for, which I presume was strategic. I don't really get how it blew up in NC's face so it doesn't seem a silly distanceing strat) was sound play, even if it came across as over smug.

Since when am I not smug, and since when was that scummy?

And then the town got lucky with BigTin (yes, I think Olaf's reasoning was good, but really it was far from open and shut as Zack correctly noted. [sorry, Zack]). And now ATPG is desperately trying to keep the town confused.

If I'm desperate, I'm about as desperate as you are during pollination season, bark breath.

Or ATPG's town and he's being a jerk. (To be fair, I can see why he might do so - by being a jerk when town, it conceals when he's mafia in other games and actingi similarly).

STOP TRYING TO BE FAIR! You're not! You're trying to sound fair and lynch townies!

Aargh. Too tricky.

^
This part is acting. This is not a natural continuation, this is a clear break in the thought process.

Mergle is attempting to sound, in this post, as if he's weighing heavy issues. No other townie is acting like this. That's why it's acting.

You know what townies are doing right now? Lynch landlubber, then lynch pizza. That's natural. It's wrong but it's natural.

Mergle is trying to sound like he's thinking. How often do townies think? give me a break. Townies reflexively react. They don't sit down for 20 minutes and blah blah blah and attempt to illustrate their heavy weighty decision making process, trying to come across like they're scum hunting.

Since when do you post like this as a townie, Mergle? Show me your "on the one hand.... argh! but on the other hand.... meh!" when you're townie in some game, any game.

It's fake. Fake.

I logged on fully intending to vote landlubber. LEt me think. Without ATPG's intervention thus far it would almost certainly be landlubber lynched. So why would ATPG try to save him? +1 Jerk points.

Look at me trying to be a good townie and weigh the pros and cons! Look, I'm typing about how much I'm thinking, that counts as thoughts!

Gosh, I had my mind made up, but now it's so open that it fell out. I'll vote pizza, that's moar clever.

On the other hand, if ATPG is the last mafia and so landlubber comes up innocent, ATPG is our next suspect and we take him down. He can't kill all of us tonight. So ATPG's one hope (and it is a slender one) is to convince us he's not mafia, just a jerk. -1 jerk points.

+1 Jerk points, -1 jerk points.

Yeah, right. This is how townies think and play the game. He needs to be uprooted and made into mulch.

OK, overall ATPG is either playing as bad townie or mafia. I don't like either so vote: ATPG. But if he's innocent, I'm fully onside with landlubber being next.

Did the tree go way out on a limb for those suspects? Way to agree with the masses while pretending to be solving the game.

I really really hope ATPG is mafia. If he is, I can just applaud his play. Otherwise... he doesn't come out of this looking good.

You can die right after me. How's that? When you flip mafia, just like NinjaCow, I'll look like a genius.

He who laughs last.

 

[BSmith1068]

You don't exactly have a good track record with your accusations this game Pizza... If you flip innocent after all we can come back to this, but until then I'll just consider this one more attempt to re-direct the vote away from where we want it.

 

[Askthepizzaguy]

You don't exactly have a good track record with your accusations this game Pizza... If you flip innocent after all we can come back to this, but until then I'll just consider this one more attempt to re-direct the vote away from where we want it.

I was the first to point out NinjaCow was acting like a total scumbag, and why. I didn't vote for him but my accusation was sound. That is what led to half the mafia team going down, regardless of how I voted.

I'm 1 for 3 on accusations. You can lynch Mergle before me based on that.

 

[Askthepizzaguy]

Oh, and Mergle's first post was being third on the wagon to spare NinjaCow, after claiming not to have remembered he signed up.

A random vote would have been less incriminating but he joined the JoanK wagon to spare Ninja.

Don't dismiss me. I slay mafia in 99% of games where I'm townie for a goddamn reason.

 

[JohannaK]

Well, stay calmed, please. It looks like landlubber is today's lynch.

 

[Askthepizzaguy]

Nevermind, I remember who I'm talking to in the first place, the man who shouted HEY LOOK AT PIZZA when Ninja was on the block, joined that wagon late to make himself look townie, and bussed BigTin.

If BSmith survives another few rounds, ask why the mafia are letting him live after nobody in their right mind wants to lynch him and he's helped lynch two mafia. Here's a clue: There's 4 mafiosi so after NinjaCow was a lost cause, BSmith distanced himself from both BigTin and NinjaCow.

Think about it. If 2 scumbags place opposing votes on their own doomed partner, technically they are not altering his fate in any way, because the two votes offset each other. And they get credit for bussing their partner AT THE SAME TIME they're not actually affecting the outcome.

Mark my words, if I'm right on this, I'm going to understand how I turned from a town hero in this game with a kickass signature line, to the goat. It's because I was not only correct, I was so right that the mafia had to do some **** to make themselves look good or else they were going to lose this goddang game outright.

 

[JohannaK]

STOP TRYING TO PLAY WITH OUR MINDS, PLEASE!!!

Really, when landlubber was the only one being voted, you started posting like a... a madman, begging people not to vote for you... That is insane. So, either you are a mad mafioso or a mad townie.

 

[Askthepizzaguy]

Well, stay calmed, please. It looks like landlubber is today's lynch.

Yeah, and if he's mafia that eases more than a few of my fears and I can easily die knowing this game is all but wrapped up as a town win.

If I'm right, you guys all just wasted an entire round not bothering to think of anything, and that's dangerous. You got 2 scums down, there's still 2 to go and that is the exact amount a standard game would have. At this rate, if you get several mislynches in a row, which is likely to happen since I'm the top suspect besides the current lynchee and basically no one else is being discussed, your townies who are on the right track are going to die in the next few rounds and more will be lynched out of hand and you all sat on your ash and did nothing the whole time. This feeling of riding high we have, this overconfidence is going to end and you'll be left without a clue, and up ship creek without a paddle.

You start discussing your freaking alternatives regardless of how you're voting, or you will lose this game, I will have told you why, and you didn't follow the common sense, blatantly obvious truth I just laid out for you all.

Wasting time is the bane of every town. Complacency as well. You are also taking some kind of drugs if you folks still think I'm mafia, but so be it. Lynch me but I am warning you, you're fudging up the game if you don't immediately consider who is gaining from my mislynch and who called for it to happen, where people voted when the actual scums were on the line, and that you might be wrong in the first place.

How are you going to differentiate between all the landlubber voters in a few rounds? How will you decide who is acting scummy when you're all acting the same way?

I'm pointing out to you who is acting wrong, regardless of how they're voting. Pay attention to that stuff because you're going to make zero progress until you do.