Any funny stories involving you and your car?

[Furry Spatula]

Ok so we've heard all sorts of stuff about your cars so lets hear the stories involved with them. I'll kick it off. Hey any car is fine doesn't need to be yours just ammusing stories.


THis one is at my school. I was doing some reffing for a highschool volleyball tourney. At the same time there was a buisness meeting going on in the auditorium that is on school property that our school owns. So the parking lot was packed. Well i was parallell parked by an island in the lot. And well i got blocked in by these two people. So the tourney ended and i wanted to go home, well i come out and see i have 2 inches between me and other cars between the front and and the same with the back of my car. So i was thinking what to do, i decided to reem this guy out when he came, I was thinking about how to yell at him, what to call him etc, well i got fed up with waiting. So i stick my car in reverse, and just push culprit one into the middle of the parking lot, then i put the car in gear and shove car 2 into the middle of the lot aswell. So with my job done I got my battering ram, ehem car, outa there. When i came home I saw there was no damage ecept for a little scrath on the rear bumper so i was happy with the outcome. Man i'd like to see the look on those guys's faces when they came out and saw that their cars were in the middle of the parking lot.

So get those stories out here.

 

[Lt. 'Killer' M.]

OK, there's this guy who thinks he's the next Schumacher (for all the ignorant Americans here: record Formula1 winner).

He's behind me at a light, revving the engine and when the light turns and we drive on he's keeping about 10 inches distance even at 80 Km/h.
We turn onto the Autobahn, lotsa wheeler traffic there, so I pull inot the left lane, he follows - still keeping 10 inches distance. Now I get a little worried - and angry. I touch the brakes to scare him - he honks!
I slow down some, then some more, very carefully - just want to get away from that madman, but the trucks on the left go 80 KM and we both still go 120..... so i ease the speed down to 80, pull into a gap (which earns me a honk and some vicious gestures from the truck driver) - and the guy goes by me speeding up, changing gears (and I HEARD that).... CRACKRKRKRKRKRKRKRKRRKK!!!!!!!!!)

Well, changing into 1st gear doing over 80 MILES is NOT smart
Sadly, he started spinning and hit my rear bumber. I lucked out, but he was hit by the truck behind me - still in hospital.

What do we learn from that: if you can't drive - don't drive, especially when you're angry

 

[docceh]

 

[Jimcat]

This is something I mailed to a few friends in late April. Seems like the appropriate place to post it here.

Two Things This Country Has Too Much Of: Cars and Stupidity

My current job involves a 40-minute commute each way. Not what I'd choose, but in a recession you have to go where the jobs are. I'm still working on getting my company to move its headquarters to Manhattan.

My car's gas mileage is good enough that I can usually fill up my gas tank on Sunday, and not have to refill until the weekend. But if I do much incidental driving during the week, I may need more gas by late in the work week. I've never actually run out of gas, but a few weeks ago, I neglected to pay attention to the gas gauge until Friday evening, when I realized that I probably didn't have enough to make it home. No big deal, my commute is on
a major highway (I-287 for those familiar with northern New Jersey) and there are plenty of gas stations at the interchanges.

Just to make things more interesting, a major rainstorm starts up just as I reach the highway. This is a cold front slamming into the tail end of a major heat wave, and it's literally the hardest rain I've seen in years. Wind gusts of up to 70 mph, and at one point the rain was so heavy that I pulled over to the side of the road rather than risk a collision. When I did this, my car's engine stalled out. I was able to start it again, but this didn't give me much confidence in my ability to travel much farther.

Once the wind and rain died down a bit, I coaxed the car to the next major interchange, which was Route 23. There's a gas station about a mile from the exit, so I figure if I can make it there, I'm home free.

However, things aren't that simple. My car stalls twice more before I get to the station, and once I do pull in, I notice a distressing sight. No lights on the pumps -- or in the station itself, or in any of the nearby buildings. An attendant confirms the bad news: the power is out in the area. Not only can't they pump gas, but there are no traffic lights or street lights on Route 23, which is usually congested even on the best of days during the evening rush hour. There's no way I'm going to take my car with its almost-empty gas tank onto that backed-up road to try to find the next gas station with power. So I choose the lesser of two evils, put my trust in GPU Energy, and sit in my parked car to wait for power to return.

My patience pays off eventually: after about half an hour, the lights come back on. The station attendants take a few more minutes to get the pumps and the cash registers up and running. They spend an inordinate amount of time fiddling with, and swearing at, a strange black plastic box mounted on one of the pillars on the pump island.

Finally one of the attendants walks over to me and says: "You need gas?"

No, I've just been sitting in my car next to a goddamn gas pump for the better part of an hour because I have nothing better to do on a Friday evening. I grip the steering wheel, take a deep breath, and say in the calmest voice I can manage: "I need gas desperately. Please fill it up."

The attendant says: "That machine thing isn't working," indicating the black box that had been vexing them. "We can't take credit cards."

As far as I'm concerned at this moment, credit cards and whoever invented them can burn in the deepest pit of Hell. I typically pay for gas with cash anyway. "That's okay," I tell the attendant, "I have cash."

"So you're going to pay with cash?" he asks me.

If I'd had any gas in my tank at the time, could you have blamed me if I'd run the moron over?

I hate cars, and I hate stupid people. On that day, I couldn't have told you which I hated more.

 

[Switch625]

This happened to me years ago, when I was young and stupid. I had a really great Pontiac Grand Prix, but it had some mechanical problems. One of which was a slightly loose steering column. My dad told me that it wasn't a good idea to drive the car until I had that fixed, but I was a young hammerhead who thought I knew everything, so I didn't listen to him. That's the wind up. Now the pitch.

I was out on the interstate between towns, and I was running about 65 MPH with the cruise control set. I had to swerve to avoid something in the road (can't remember what), and the steering column rocked as I turned the wheel, disengaging the ignition linkage. For a split second, the engine cut off. When the steering column went back into place, the ignition linkage reconnected, and the engine started up again. Well, at that point, the entire system was flooded with raw gas, from the carbeurator to the mufflers (dual system). It all ignited at once. BOOM! The car shook violently, so violently I almost lost control of it, and a bright orange flash erupted from under the hood of the car, and a fireball erupted from the exhaust. After that second or two of drama... nothing more. The car kept running.

I drove home.

My dad and I inspected the car for damage. The air filter was completely crisped; it crumbled to the touch. All of the rubber vacuum lines on the top of the engine were cooked brittle. There was a large black spot on the underside of the hood where the fireball fried the lining. And, best of all, both mufflers were blown out. The casing of each looked like they had been inflated. Other than that, the car was fine. He told me that I was "a lucky b*st*rd." He also told me I should be dead. At that point, I decided he might know what he was talking about.

I didn't drive the car again until I got the steering column fixed.

 

[floppa21]

I was 16. My first car! It was a money pit. It broke down in Beaver Utah. I got to the next exit and paid a guy $15 plus the pink slip to tow the car away. Adam Sandler song anyone? It's a piece o' ...

 

[Orioles3386]

I don't have a drivers liscinse yet, but getting my permit was an....adventure. (I posted this at GC)

Well..... Monday March 4, 2002......going to get my learners permit.

The night before everything was set.....photocopy of birth cirtificate, forms all filled out, dad looking for where he put my social security card, Schedule coordinated with mom. After school I meet mom where the buses(notice thats plural) line up. Now, usually I take A bus to lil peach and walk home from there, but mom said specifically "where the buses line up", which would be in front of the school.

1:50 PM: School is over....must go find mommy. If I'm meeting mom where the buses line up, there is no need for me to get on a bus to lil peach. Buses drive away. No mommy. Maybe shes just late. Sit on steps and wait. Still no mommy. Search entire school parking lot for mommys beat up paint peeling car(it usually sticks out). No mommy. Maybe mom went down to the band room to talk to the band director while she waited. Nope. No mommy.
3:00 PM: Waiting in band room. Home answering machine is full of messages for mommy. Still no mommy. Maybe mom meant lil peach? She couldn't have. We specifically said where the buses line up and NOT lil peach. May as well call and see if shes there, just to make sure. My boss answers the phone at lil peach. Yep. Mommy is there all worried where I am.
3:30 PM: Mommy arrives at band room and off we go. Mommy is VERY mad, because it's my fault she wasn't where she told me she'd be. Uh oh. Mommy doesn't have my form, or my birth cirtificate, or my social security card. We must go home to get them. Birthcirtificate? check. Forms?check. Social security card? nope. Uh oh. Where is it? Call dad. He forgot. Never looked for it. Now I have to. Can't find it anywhere. So....call DMV and see if there's anything we can do.

YES! There is! We can bring 3 forms of ID! Aha! ok...in the car and off to the DMV. Get there and wait in line. Finally at the head of the line. Guy is mad. We don't have a social security card. Mommy tells the guy about how we called and someone told us 3 forms of ID would be enough. Guy isn't sure. Gives us a number and doesn't promise anything. Wait in waiting room for 45 minutes. Our number is called finally! Uh oh. This lady is crabby. "3 forms of ID? nobody told you that! Whoever told you that is unauthorized.....and this birth cirtificate? it's a photocopy!!! we have signs (little index card size ones only on the door going out ) saying ORIGINALS ONLY!!!!!!".......grr....now we have to leave......mommy and I head out to the parking lot.....








WHERES THE CAR!!!!?!??!?!?! IT"S GONE!!!! STOLEN!!!!!! EEEEKKKK!!!!!! Mommy is in a panic. Asks a guy if he's seen the car. Yep. He knows what happened. The car was towed. ONE little sign nowhere near where we parked says so. ugh. must call a cab to drive across town to "Pauls Towing". Wait. Wait...mommy goes to find a pay phone "flag a cab down if you see one, it's probably ours".....wait....wait.....look!! a yellow cab!!! I must flag it down or this day will never end!!!!! *flags down cab* hmmm....not our cab.....he leaves......look! another one!!!!!.....nope.....he ain't ours either.......another one!!! this HAS to be it.....he pulls up at the same time another cab pulls up......the one I flagged down wasn't ours AGAIN, but this other one was. Must wait for mom. Cab driver is mad....about to leave....still no mom.....waiting....waiting....there she is! Hurry up mom!!! In the cab and off we go to "Pauls Towing".

A $25 cab ride later we're at Pauls Towing. Ok....we'll just pay for the car and get out of here.....$100?!?!?!?!....who does he think he is?!?!?!!!!!.....ugh....fine.....mommy takes out checkbook......nope.....CASH ONLY!!!!!.....Mommy used the end of her cash for the cab......now my wallet has to bail us out....guy is really rude to me to make matters worse.......all my money is gone....all moms money is gone....no learners permit......