Cheezy the Wiz
Socialist In A Hurry
Feet?! You were lucky to have feet! When I were a lad, my old man chopped our feet off, had them for breakfast, then made us walk through broken glass on our already bleeding stumps, allowing people to throw pennies at our heads for entertainment. Then he whipped our hands with a cat-o-nine-tails, made us pick all the pennies up, punched us in the face after doing so and kicked us up the backside all the way home, which was derelict public toilet infested with rats. And when we got home, he put our heads down the rodent infested bowls and made us lick the sides for dinner. And that was just for my third birthday! But tell that to yer young uns today, and they won't believe you...
Oh, you home was a public toilet was it? Well at least you had that! Why, when I was a young-un, growing up in the slums of Leningrad, we all lived in a bottle of old milk left out behind Sergei's Burgers and Fries for the kitties to drink from. Of course, in Soviet Russia, they don't have kitties, but Siberian Tigers, so we had to fight the tigers off every day just to get at the scraps of food as they flew out of the meat grinder! Of course, those kids today, they got it easy, don't know what it used to be like...