Ask a Dutchman!

[NovaKart]

Are people familiar with the Dutch oven practical joke?

I'll add a picture of Renaissance Dutch painting to give this question an air of sophistication so it won't just seem like trolling. I am a bit curious though, so you can say it's a legitimate question.

 

[Tahuti]

How the Dutch lost their colonies in Mainland America?

We swapped New Netherlands (our American colonies) for parts of Guyana (now Suriname) with the English.

 

[Takhisis]

We also invaded Pernambuco/Recife in the 17th century before the Portuguese threw us out.

 

[Agent327]

As part of the 80 Years War Portugal (which was in a personal union with Spain 1580-1640) lost some of its more profitable overseas establishments - notably in Asia: Ceylon/Sri Lanka, the Moluccas (East Timor was the last Portuguese remnant in East India), Singapore, Formosa/Taiwan.

We were. In some ways, the 80 years' war was as much related to the 30 years' war as the Sino-Japanese War was to WWII.

That's a bit of an overstatement. Dutch involvement in the 30 Years War was minimal at best.

As per grain import: 80-90% is being imported. The Baltic grain and wood trade is definitely older than the Dutch republic, and it does not necessarily point to grain import, as selling grain and wood was profitable bulk business. (As opposed to, say, the spice trade, which wasn't very bulky but highly profitable.)

 

[anandus]

We swapped New Netherlands (our American colonies) for parts of Guyana (now Suriname) with the English.

Swapped is a bit of a euphemism.

The Dutch lost New Netherlands to the English in 1664 and the English lost Willoughbyland to the Dutch in 1667 during the Second English-Dutch war.

After the war was over there were peace talks about returning the conquered lands, but neither country was really bothered about their loss, so they left it as it was.

 

[ace99]

The English are the bane of the Dutch Empire. You would think they would be more grateful to us for the Glorious Revolution. We should have left them in the hands of the Papists.

 

[Tahuti]

The English are the bane of the Dutch Empire. You would think they would be more grateful to us for the Glorious Revolution. We should have left them in the hands of the Papists.

If William III had made babies, perhaps Britain would still have had a Dutch monarch.

Spoiler :

En misschien hadden we dan ook Nederlands als wereldtaal gehad!

Spoiler :

And perhaps we also would have had Dutch as the world's lingua franca!

 

[ace99]

I always said we should have allied with the Turks.

Edit: Sorry for the triple post.

 

[Takhisis]

Sorry for the quadruple post, but Dutch should've been the language of the US.

 

[W|M]

(East Timor was the last Portuguese remnant in East India), Singapore, Formosa/Taiwan.)

Portugal never controlled Singapore and Formosa AFAIK (although they did give Formosa its name), and was left with Goa and Macao as well until the 20th Century.

Sorry for the quintuple post

 

[ace99]

The Portuguese did conquer the Malacca Sultanate to control the trade through the straits so presumably they controlled the land that Singapore would eventually be built on.

It was we Dutch that controlled Formasa before being driven out by Ming troops fleeing the Qing conquest. Damn Kongxia

The 20th century Portuguese colonial empire pales in comparison to the Dutch East Indies!

Edit: Sorry for six posts in a row.

 

[Takhisis]

Do any of our lowlanding comrades think much of Taal Vitaal Nederlands voor beginners?

Portugal never controlled Singapore and Formosa AFAIK (although they did give Formosa its name), and was left with Goa and Macao as well until the 20th Century.

The Portuguese did conquer the Malacca Sultanate to control the trade through the straits so presumably they controlled the land that Singapore would eventually be built on.

It was we Dutch that controlled Formasa before being driven out by Ming troops fleeing the Qing conquest. Damn Kongxia

The 20th century Portuguese colonial empire pales in comparison to the Dutch East Indies!

*Formosa, not Formasa. It means 'beautiful'.

Sorry for heptapost.

 

[Agent327]

Never heard of Taal vitaal, but there are plenty of Dutch courses available if you don't like it.

Portugal never controlled Singapore and Formosa AFAIK (although they did give Formosa its name), and was left with Goa and Macao as well until the 20th Century.

Yes, I could have expanded on that: as mentioned the Dutch expelled the Portuguese from Malacca and set up at Singapore (which they then later lost to the English, just as Ceylon). The Taiwan adventure (1624-1662) resulted from both failed attacks on Macau and failed attempts to establish trade relations with the Ming. There were indeed no Portuguese on Taiwan, though there was a Spanish presence in the north from 1626 onwards. At that time Taiwan was not claimed as Chinese territory; the Dutch encouraged Chinese immigration to the island, but managed by their harsh and corrupt rule to antagonize both the aboriginals and the Chinese moving to these "Gates of Hell".

 

[anandus]

I always said we should have allied with the Turks.

Well, during the Dutch revolt there was a famous saying in Dutch which, translated, is something like "I'd rather be Turkish than Catholic!"

 

[dutchfire]

Irreligious (51.3%)
Roman Catholicism (24.6%)
Protestantism (14.8%)
Islam (5.5%)
Other religions (3.8%)

edit: Well, that picture was disappointing

 

[Monsterzuma]

do any of the dutch people here ever think of moving abroad, and if so where? my impression is that dutch are relatively cosmopolitan and speak english well, so they have quite a lot of options in that regard.

 

[ace99]

Well, during the Dutch revolt there was a famous saying in Dutch which, translated, is something like "I'd rather be Turkish than Catholic!"

Liever Turks dan Paaps

I've heard different variations of that quote not just by us Dutch but the Byzantines too:

"Better the Sultan's turban than the Cardinal's hat."

"Better the Sultan's turban than the Pope's tiara"

"Better the Turks than the Pope."

"Rather Turkish than Papist"

"Rather Turkish than Pope"

"I would rather see a Turkish turban in the midst of the City (i.e., Constantinople) than the Latin mitre"-Loukas Notaras

"The Turks are very threatening, which will mean, we believe, that the king will not come to the Netherlands this year"
—Letter of William of Orange to his brother, circa 1565.

"would rather become a tributary to the Turks than live against his conscience and be treated according to those [anti-heresy] edicts"
—Letter of Flemish noble D'Esquerdes.

 

[Perfection]

What's the best thing about being a Dutchman?

What's the worst thing about being a Dutchman?

 

[Tahuti]

do any of the dutch people here ever think of moving abroad, and if so where? my impression is that dutch are relatively cosmopolitan and speak english well, so they have quite a lot of options in that regard.

I did consider moving to Canada after graduating from college, but I now think I will stay. Australia, Germany, France and the USA are also popular immigrant destinations among Dutch people.

What's the best thing about being a Dutchman?

We are open-minded, safe for some die-hard reformed Christians in the Bible Belt, and die-hard Muslims among Turks and Moroccans. I think we resemble Canadians in some ways, which is why Dutch people tend to like Canada.

What's the worst thing about being a Dutchman?

We severely lack subtlety. Though that's not always a bad thing either (since this gave the world Paul Verhoeven movies).

 

[ace99]

I'm going to disagree with my fellow Dutchman and say that the best thing is the marijuana and being located in a place that lets you easily get to the UK, France and Germany. (Belgium can go to hell!)

The worst thing is Geert Wilders.