Ask a Scotsman

[Josu]

Which option do you think would win in case of independence referendum?

 

[CommonKnowledge]

More worryingly, a few weeks ago I caught one of my well-heeled, educated and well-brought-up public schoolboys eating one - they'd taken the Mars Bar down to the local chip shop and asked to have it deep-fried. I despair for our young people.

Deep fried Mars bar is tame in comparison to some of the other things you can get battered in Scotland.

Battered pizza

 

[Traitorfish]

I'll pop in give my thoughts on a few of the more impersonal questions, if that's alright with Imperialman.

If Scotland splits from the UK what will happen to the SNP. Could the SNP decline and the Scottish Labour and Conservatives grow again?

It's hard to say, but I suspect that SNP will lose the centre-left vote if faced with a Scottish Labour that's no longer bound by the more centrist Westminster party, and we'll see a Labour/National system emerging, the former representing the urban working class and the latter the suburban middle class. However, it's also possible that a similarly liberated Conservative Party might be able to hold its weight, even if it can never regain the position it once enjoyed as the Party of Empire. They may absorb a slightly desperate Liberal Democrats in the process, giving them an opportunity for re-branding- perhaps a new "Liberal Unionist Party"?

Is Scots a real language?

I'd say so, yes. I certainly don't think that it can be satisfactorily categorised as a simple regional dialect of English, given the extent of its independent history and literary canon.

How many people of African descent are there in Scotland?

Not very many- Scotland never experienced any significant Afro-Carribean immigration, so almost all black people in Scotland are recent immigrants from Africa. The number is growing steadily, however, and the major cities all have significant African communities.

What's the cost of living like in Scotland?

Relatively low by British standards (which is to say fairly average by Western European standards), although, this being Britain, accommodation takes a very large proportion of your costs and so represents a major variable.

Is it true that the Shetlands are ethnically distinct from the rest of Scotland?

Historically, yes, but these days the differences are about regional and to an extent national identity, rather than about ethnicity as such.

What is their status likely to be if Scotland achieves independence?

Shetlanders tend to be quite sceptical towards Scottish independence, because they don't tend to see a Holyrood government as any more or less their own than a Westminster one. In particular, they're suspicious of "it's Scotland's oil" chest-thumping, asserting that, on the contrary, at least some of it is Shetland's oil. It's quite likely that they would pursue some measure of autonomy within an independent Scotland, threatening to stick with England (perhaps as a Crown Dependency under a revived Earldom of Orkney, like the Isle of Mann and Channel Islands) unless their currently generous share of the income from oil and natural gas is maintained.

Unless Scotland becomes a republic, the Queen is still the head of state and the Prince of Wales is still the Duke of Cornwall & Rothesay, Lord Great Steward etc. Given Salmond's farcical expectations for an independent Scotland to keep the British army, the BBC and the NHS, amongst others, I think border controls will be the least of your worries!

Actually, NHS Scotland is a wholly independent body. It's relationship with NHS England is purely one of cooperation, it's in no way a subsidiary. (The rest, I can't comment on.)

 

[Quackers]

Ermm don't you have to be a Scot to answer it? Not just living in it? Pfft...

 

[Traitorfish]

Scottish parents, lived 50>% life in Scotland, knows the difference between a gowk, a spyug and a houlet: Scottish.

 

[ParkCungHee]

Relatively low by British standards (which is to say fairly average by Western European standards), although, this being Britain, accommodation takes a very large proportion of your costs and so represents a major variable.

By "accommodation" you mean rent right? Does that apply throughout Scotland or only in major cities?

 

[Quackers]

Pfft, not Scottish enough

 

[Traitorfish]

By "accommodation" you mean rent right? Does that apply throughout Scotland or only in major cities?

Well, it can vary pretty significantly even within and between the cities- I pay just over half of what my sister does for a very similar flat because I live in North-Central Dundee and she lives in the West End of Glasgow- so it's really hard to generalise. You'd certainly pay less in rural areas and small towns, but even that depends on commuter prospects.

 

[Arakhor]

I think this is very appropriate.


Link to video.

 

[Kan' Sharuminar]

You can ask a Scotsman absolutely anything. I have done so. Understanding the reply, is a different matter.

Ach, weesht. Ah da think oor accents is ah tha' bad.

Do you like haggis?

One of my favourite foods, at least

 

[imperialman]

When you come upon an Englishman, how strong is the urge to yell freedom?

Zero, we have freedom.

do you like bananas?

Indeed I do!

Do you support scottish independece ?

if Scotland was independent would you support EU membership ?

No I don't

I would have said yes 5 years ago but today, I can't say either yes or no. I'd wait to see what happens with the Eurozone we'd inevitably have to join.

What is your favorite Burns poem?

Why are Scottish accents so awesome?

Why is fried food so popular in Scotland?

Don't have one

Sean Connery himself appears to us and gives us voice coaching.

It was god's gift to our taste buds.

Is Scots a real language?

I'd say yes but it should be remembered "Since there are no universally accepted criteria for distinguishing languages from dialects, scholars and other interested parties often disagree about the linguistic, historical and social status of Scots."

Do you like heroin and headbutting?

As much as anyone could.

How many people of African descent are there in Scotland?

Never given it a thought.

Do you speak with the stereotypical Gorbals accent?

I have a more, balanced, accent shall we say. I'd be recognisable as Scottish but not Glaswegian imo.

Also, I herd you deep fry "Mars" bars. How sane is that?

*How tasty is that? Very

Is it true you deep fry butter now? This is being flippant but I have heard it.

I've never heard of it.

What are your views on the bucky culture?

A sad blight on an otherwise fine part of the world.

How is gang violence coming on? Have the latest efforts in this direction been successful?

I live in a relatively crime free part of Glasgow but I have noticed a significant decrease in visible gangs at least in other areas. The reputation the city had in the 80's and 90's is very undeserved today.

Do you think minimum pricing on alcohol is a good idea?

Nope, I enjoy my rum relatively cheap.

Do you own and wear a kilt on special occasions?

Nope but I rented one recently for a family event.

Is the Brave Heart culture still going on?

Beyond children and nationalists, nope.

What are your hopes for an independent Scotland?

I don't want one, at all.

What are your hopes for England?

I have no hopes for England beyond that it continues to be relatively prosperous.

What do you think of the sectarian divide?
etc etc etc

It's something I'm seeing much less of now but it's an ugly and imbecilic thing.

What will happen to Balmoral (?) if Scotland achieves independence.

(may I visit your beautiful country again one day?)

I'd imagine it could easily become a hotel if the Queen gives it up.

Yes, you may, tell them I sent you. Though technically, it's not a country in that it's not a sovereign state.

Is it true that the Shetlands are ethnically distinct from the rest of Scotland?

What is their status likely to be if Scotland achieves independence?

I'd say the only real difference is in some minor customs and not ethnicity, the only Shetlander I've ever met was fiercely Scottish.

One of their MSP's claimed they may seek to remain part of the UK or split off, join Norway etc (he may have been joking about joining Norway though).

Could you understand all the dialog in Trainspotting?

Sadly, I've never seen that film.

Do you like to go to your backyard and cook food on the grill? Bar-be-que? Steak? Chicken?

Yes, yes, yes and yes!

Do you like punk?

Not a bit.

Which option do you think would win in case of independence referendum?

I wholeheartedly believe people will vote to stay in the union.

I'll pop in give my thoughts on a few of the more impersonal questions, if that's alright with Imperialman.

Not a problem!

 

[classical_hero]

Have you ruined Scotland yet?

 

[ShahJahanII]

How many people of African descent are there in Scotland?

Everyone is of African descent...

Say, within 4 generations.

 

[Arakhor]

Given that the post-war immigration from India and the Caribbean only began 60-65 years at most, I'd say that's two generations.

 

[Borachio]

how good a claim did Idi Amin actually have to be the last King of Scotland

scottish independence: who'll pay the price?

what hope for scots gaelic?

how significant was the Scottish Darien colony failure for Scotland?

why the clearances?

why grouse moors?

the future for St Kildare?

the future of fisheries in general?

golf. whither now?

Rabbie Burns?

A ring of bright water?

"Geordie", "Whiskey galore". hopeless caricatures?

The importance of Scotch whiskey in the global economy?

Water as a resource?

(prepare to be questioned! i have questions!)

 

[ShahJahanII]

What percentage of Scots are redheads?

 

[Eat_Up_Martha]

Is there much wilderness in Scotland? I know it's rather mountainous compared to the rest of the UK, but whenever I see pictures of the English countryside it's almost all just settled farmland. Is it the same up north?

 

[Traitorfish]

Is there much wilderness in Scotland? I know it's rather mountainous compared to the rest of the UK, but whenever I see pictures of the English countryside it's almost all just settled farmland. Is it the same up north?

The Lowlands are pretty much the same as England, but the Highlands are a "yes and no" sort of thing. They don't have the same sort of cultivation that you'll see in England, but the glens have been cleared of their naturally for centuries- first for agriculture, more recently for animal-grazing, and almost all of them will have some sort of settlement in them, be it only a farmhouse or forester's cabin. However there's still pockets of forest that look as they would have done in the last ice age, and the mountains themselves are pretty much as they always were. A lot of that probably wouldn't measure up as "wilderness" by the standards of North America- we don't have anywhere where you can spend two months without seeing the barest hint of civilisation (*insert Govan joke here*)- but by our conservative standards, typically something along the lines of "can I die stupidly in it?", they qualify.

 

[ParkCungHee]

Does Scotland have any good beaches?

 

[Borachio]

You know all the beaches, I have seen in Scotland, are perfect. Maybe not a la Miami beach or...I think you know what I'm driving at.