ASNES: The best thing since peanut butter and Jelly

I'm off on vacation for a week. Amon, please put Leon on NPC until I return.
 
Ok Xen and amon for this update we will stay seprate with seprate orders. and I will speak with Xen on AIM as soon as possible
 
Thanks human-slaughter.

UPDATE STARTED
 
Son of a *****

If it weren't for having to get crap for school...God...I'll probably have to postpone the update till like...10 PM tonight!I'm sorry gentlemen...Bastards that haven't sent orders yet,this is your last chance.
 
Espirito,I added you to MSN,and you're never on :(Makes me a sad bastahrd
 
Fall of 700AD

Economy raises

Al-Asole:Failed
Amog the Wise:Great success!The docks are flourishing through Amog's great charm has made many people want to go there (+2 economy)
Josef Stalin:Success!You can't fail,with a politics of 20 ;)

Officer searches

BaghdadPferd:Success!Great Minister found
Conen the Great:Success!You have a ***** now.
Elric:Success!A grand warrior has been found.
Stashu:Not so success!Looked far and wide,but couldn't find an able person.
Taa'u:You found Triss!He's an ok warrior,but brave as..Well...Something that's really brave
Thrax:Found a dude,he's a good warrior,and skilled in politics too!

Training

Johann the not so wise:Upped Johann the Wise by 12
Toshka:Upped Roddy by 10
Amon Savag:Upped Vecheslav by 15

Events

Thinking that bootstrap had men,Alexander gave him 240 spears (Good god) and said "March that way".Bootstrap then had his servant and arriage carry his 240 spears for him as the loyal bastard marched south,encountering a small group of bandit raiders.He then reached into his carriage,grabs some spears,stuck them into the ground,got some more,then started chucking them at the enemies till they got close,then he and his servant went hand to hand against them.The servant got killed,the carriage got stolen,and all but 3 bandits were killed.Bootstrap still lives and goes back home with only a small flesh wound.

BabylonStier found a few villages as he expanded westwards.Adding them to BaghdadPferd's empire the economy went up.

A large expansion has been added onto Josef Stalin's empire,and the result has been 2 villages being found,and joined to the empire...Josef's economy has been raised twice because of this.

Olaf sends Danny on a voyage with 16 galleys to search the lands of scandinavia...But...Olaf also thought Danny had men!HAHA!Mistake!Not really...But it was a funny story...Danny landed after spotting a village,and the people looked at the fleet and one dude jumping off a ship.They were like "Wow...Big navy,crappy army" and he's all like "Yeah...Under fundage..How's it goin?" and a conversation was struck up...Stashu's lands have contact with Olaf's lands now

Wariman and Wariwoman die.Their civilisation crumbles too.(Thanks for NOT sending orders twice Warman!)

Xen sits on his ass alot with Testicles.(see random events for more)

Random crap

A chick wants to marry Olaf!She's a commoner,but who isn't nowdays?Her name is "Marry".

Xenophon was caught getting sekshal(Said like a true southerner) pleasure from his secretary...But...Who cares?This is the good ol days(We can name you the bill clinton of my NES!)

Vecheslav's dog died :(

Taa'u of Pelargir caught a cold,and is being treated for illness.

BabylonSpier finds a sword I'm willing to call the "Ancient Blade"(Gives +3 to war)

Guess what!

Now that there is starting to be an abundance of officers,able officers are going to start being harder to find...In otherwords you don't have a hundred percent chance to find an officer anymore.Politics and Charm have a decent amount to do with it,though.
 
El Grand-a Mapppoah!
 

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Orders: Use Krar To try and find an Officer. Go to bars and try to convince Drunken fighters to join up. Use Thrax to visit Krar. Store Hold
 
Story: KRar Iron Gut walked into the local pub just as two men went crashing through the window.

"Well this looks like the place," he muttered to himself.

Inside was just what he had wanted to see, the room was in chaos men were smashing each other in drunken rages while others smashed chairs and other objects over each others heads. And in some circumstances their own.
Krar jumped on to a table, punching a sleazy bum who, in his drunken state thought Krar was a woman.

"Local men!" He bellowed at the people around him. " I have been sent by our great Lord Thrax. He wishes for more strong and willing men to join his mighty military."

"Wats a military?" Asked a giant sized man who was obviously beyond sobernes.

"Why my good man its a club you can join where you get to kill people and bash them with items. An its legal." Krar responded. " Even you can become part of this elite organisation for a small fee of loyalty both to me and our great lord Thrax."

Cheers echoed throughout the bar.

"There is also a position open for a officer like me who will be needed to lead our troops to bloody victory." Krar continued. " However only one of you can become this officer who will be paid more then the others so get to it last one standing gets the job."

Almost instantly the fighting recommenced. Krar smiled to himself, another days job done.
 
@Amon, yeh, I am on, I seen you a couple of times but you never stay on too long ;-) probably since im UK and ur US :)

A knock on the door causes him to look up in time to see a tall woman enter,
'Dus'Mordis, thankyou for stopping by, there is something I would like you to do for me,'
'Ofcourse General.'
'And it's Prince now, not General.' he smiles. 'A small vanity but the people see me less militaristically and come to me for domestic affairs which is what we need. You're hereby promoted General.'
'Yes My Prince.'
He points to a map on the table,
'This is a map from an Empire which used to live here of old, as you can see to the south there is a great desert. This should be inhospitable and so I have come up with a great plan! I want you to take 250 men, arm them, and take them towards where the sun sets each night, explore and bring the land under my rule, if you find people, offer them the chance to join us peacefully, if necessary, persuade or reason with them.'
'At swordpoint?'
'If necessary. Above all, do not engage if we are weaker, this is half the total force and we must keep it. Meanwhile, I shall order some ships to be built, after this expedition you are to sail here,' he points to Sicily. 'However, that is for another day, I intend that we should rule the seas. Is there anything you need?'
'No My Prince,'
'Then go, when you can advance no further set up a camp, I will send my next set of orders by messenger. Good Luck Dus'Mordis.'
When she has left, Prince Elric amuses himself by drawing in pink ink over the entire coast of the sea, 'This shall all be mine,' he says under his breath, 'But who will look after Imrryr while I am away? I need a Retainer, maybe there is someone suitable in my men-at-arms...'

General Dus'Mordis takes 250 men, 150 swords, 100 spears and marches west along the coast to extend the Empire.
Prince Elric searches through his ranks of remaining soldiers and the city guard an anyone else he can think of to find a retainer suitable to his needs, after the first search he finds no-one but going to a fortune-teller she predicts that the one he is looking for is called Eruli li'Avalorn if only he can be found.
 
Orders:
Put all 5 economy into hiring more men, put them into storm riders army

Storm rider train his troops and march them out to take over stuff if theres time left over (or if that can count as the training)

Leon Trotsky will send out his troops accompanied by Dick Smack in battle
Dick Smack will search for some women out there, preferably one with very high charisma :D
Trotsky will search for relics and weapons and such to help out as he conquers

appoint trotsky grand erotician
 
Orders:

Johann the Wise : Give 200 men to JtnsW , Purchace two sets of swords for 4 gold (200 for JtnsW).

Johann the not so Wise : Take 200 men (and some swords if possible) and expand the land area.
 
Alexander's Orders
Spend 2 gold on 200 men and put them under the command Bootstrap

Send Boostrap 1 Gold, and have him use that money for spears, then have him expand south.

Bank 2 gold
 
Holy crap Alex!You're doing 3 things this turn!Pick one,you're only one man..And I didn't see you say that Bootstrap did any of them actions.
 
Jaques totally takes on the Dockmaking Task, additionally, one of his taverns will be opened at each Dock so the sailors will have a place to unwind.

All Five Taverns have been given Cool names and have a general proprietor

The Green Weasel: The first tavern where Bootstrap was found, currently operated by Bootstrap's much more intelligent brother Cornelius Bootstrap, Who, although he can hold his own, is no where near as strong as Bootstrap.

The Bloated Monkey: Tavern along the southernmost port, well known for being a place where tales of high adventure and bravery get exchanged. This tavern is run by Jaques' best friend Chris "The Statesman" Sutherland, who can lay stories just as thick on the sailors, and who can also hold his own against most of the characters that come in there.

The Velvetty Cushion: Jaques' upscale tavern in Normandy, known more as a place to find a woman than to get a drink. Operated by Madamme Jaqueline DuBrow, men from all over Europe flock here because of the cleanliness of facilities and safety afforded by Madamme Jaqueline's extensive bodyguard force.

The Puking Savage: A rural tavern which is much smaller than the other ones, ran by a former Bishop named Edwinn Fletcher. The Puking Savage is where many local farmers go to get away from their families for a night, few people of note have ever entered The Puking Savage.

The Frying Dutchman: The other Port tavern, known for it's superb fish fry. For a hungry sailor, this is the place to go. Operated by Short John Silver, a former pirate turned awesome, everyone who eats their just loves the atmosphere.
 
Meanwhile, BabylonStier and his 400 men was exploring the landscape to the west of Baghdad in hope to find other people and new land to add to our empire. After only 5 day's marches he had his first success: he saw a small village at the edge of the horizont. He and just 10 men went inside the village, to tell them that they came as friends and had no intention to do the village people any harm. Since they didn't carry any weapons, the villagers believed them and welcomed them friendly. BabylonStier was told that they were a group of refugees and that they settled down here after the collapse of the old empires. They called the Village "New Babylon" and now they seeked the protection of a lord so that they could live a peaceful live without having to worry about barbarian attacks. When BabylonStier offered them to join our Baghdad Empire, they happily agreed and gave him the most precious treasure of the village, an ancient sword which would greatly improve the user's fighting abilities. BabylonStier took the sword, went to the next palm tree and chopped it down with one strike. He said thank you for the sword and continued his exploration and expansion westwards, along the two rivers.

TigrisKroete was happy to finally start his work: He went to several markets and visited some farmers to buy the best seeds he could buy. He bought several different kind of seeds so that my people could have a diet, which is not monotonous. He even planned to grow exotic fruits like date palms.

One day I found a note of him on my desk. I should come and visit him an the fields. When I met him there he was instructing the workers. When he finished, he came to me and said that he just remembered one person who could help me building my empire: His brother EuphratKröte! Of course I was interested, I could use every help I can get,so I told him to go on. EuphratKröte was a hermit and he lived in a small hut north of Baghdad. He was a very talented politician in one of the old empires. TigrisKröte said he couldn't come with me if I wanted to find his brother, but he could write a letter, so that his brother will know that I'm coming from him.

I took his letter and fifty men and traveled north to find his small hut. I took a small bag of gold that I would offer him if I couldn't convince him otherwise, but I just thought of it as a last means. After 3 days one of my men came to me and said he found a hut. He showed me where it was and I knocked at the door and called:". A small, grumpy old man opened the door, said "Yes, I am!" in a bad tempered voice. I told him that I was sent by his brother and gave him the letter. I wonder if I could really get him to be my new officer.


Orders:
BaghdadPferd(50 Men): find NPC officer (EuphratKroete, minister), offer him 1 gold if charm doesn't work.
BabylonStier(400Men):Explore and expand along the rivers
TigrisKröte(50 Men): build economy
 
Update tomarrow gents!Get more orders in!
 
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