Hey kids! It's me, your old buddy New England! Why do I smell like whiskey, you ask? Well, that's because I've been hitting the sauce pretty hard ever since France stole my empire. You're looking at your watch I see. Don't worry, your parent should be back to pick you up after several hours that will seem like eternity. Until then, Ole Grandpa New England will regale you with stories of my glory days! I ever tell you the one about how I beat ever other navy in the world? Licked em good I did, haw haw! Oh I told you that one already? Well good news! You get to hear I again! Hurray!
Anyone looking to get in touch with me can find me at McCreevy's Irish pub, just down the road.