Bad moral dilema

[AL_DA_GREAT]

I sat and talked to one of my best friend a few days ago. We have known each other since as long as we remember. He is moving to another city and we had a long talk all the stuff that we have done. He mentioned a ski trip that I had forgotten. Now the ski trip is coming back to me. We where 9 years old. It was me, my friend and his father. The father being a real carrear man (now financially independent) spent the days working with his laptop in a cafe while we skied in the nearby slopes. One day when we came back we saw him talking to a women who was 10 years younger than him. They continued to talk and in a hushed way exchanged phone numbers. Later that evening after my friend and I had gone to bed my friend's father went out. I don't know when he got home but the next morning when we woke him up he was very tired. The way that he behaved it was obvious that they had a thing for each other.

At the time I thought it was a tad strange. 10 years later I understand what happened. The problem is that he is happily married to my friends mother. They have been married for 20 some years. They are very happy together and affectionate. Now that the father has sold his business they are planning for their early retirement they seem so happy together.

Do I forget the past?

Do I confront the father?

Do I tell the mother?

Do I send an anonymous letter telling them that I saw what happened 10 years ago?

Is it grossly immoral for me to blackmail the father? I see it as a fine. He committed an evil deed and now he has to pay.

 

[Dachs]

You should only blackmail the father if he's not a pure Aryan.

Moderator Action: Trolling.
Please read the forum rules: http://forums.civfanatics.com/showthread.php?t=422889

 

[Frank Drebin]

what the hell is your friend doing? people should stay were they are born.

anyway, the cheating thing is none of your business. forget about it.

 

[duckstab]

What goes on in someone else's marriage is generally none of your damn business. Only if your friend's mother suspects or learns of something and asks you to confirm it should you divulge anything. For all you know she may have already learned of the affair and forgiven him, and if that's the case your bringing it up will only open old wounds.

Blackmail is always immoral, not to mention illegal.

No dilemma here that I can see. Keep any high-handed judgments about his behavior to yourself.

 

[J-man]

Forget the past, don't tell any of them. It's none of your business. You don't want to get involved.

Perhaps the father did commited an evil or immoral deed but that doesn't give you the right to commit an immoral deed yourself....

 

[Zardnaar]

You don't even know 100% that an affair did take place. Stay out of it and keep quiet.

 

[bob_page]

Never rat on your friends' fathers, and always keep your mouth shut.

 

[Ayn Rand]

Is it grossly immoral for me to blackmail the father? I see it as a fine. He committed an evil deed and now he has to pay.

So your moral dilemma is that you wish to commit a serious criminal offence?

 

[Perfection]

Don't stir the pot.

 

[Duo]

I can't imagine you'd get much mileage with the whole blackmail shenanigans without some sort of proof, anyways. I'd leave it be.

 

[Stolen Rutters]

One more vote for Highly Immoral to Blackmail.

I wonder what the penalties are for blackmail in Sweden. I wanted to warn you about the non-moral consequences too. The problem is that only know the law in the US. In most States, blackmail is a felony, which can keep you from ever getting a decent job. That's public record and is checked every time you change jobs. If Sweden is anything like here, don't expect to have a career after that. (Well, you could always clean clothes or work in landscaping, I guess.)

It's morally repugnant to blackmail no matter what the circumstances, and even if you think you're making someone pay, you are potentially ruining the rest of your life from the blowback... bad trade in my opinion.

edit - You asked all sorts of other questions, sorry, on the other ones I got nothing.

 

[Junzi Nicuzn]

The intricacies of a relationship. The wife could be aware of the husband's outside dalliances, and silently affecting to not know to preserve that happiness. Or she could know and acknowledge the affairs as part of an open relationship. Perhaps this is just another case of a rich man sticking his debit card in other banks' ATMs. The point here is you don't know. These two people have spent twenty-plus years working on this relationship, and by your own admission they have developed one they enjoy. A relationship built on the secrets between them as well as the honesty, and quite frankly it is not your place to jump in decades later with a vague, ten year old memory to destroy that. Your 'good intentions' (and I use the term loosely, since it would appear not all your intentions are pure) will most likely cause more harm than help.

Forget the past.

Do not confront the father.

Do not tell the mother.

Send no letter. (Anonymous? Weak, at least accept consequences for your actions)

And if you blackmail the father, you forfeit any moral high ground.

Also...if you did try to stir up trouble with this he would eat you alive. One does not become financially independent by being a weak idiot. A nineteen year old punk kid with only a memory from a decade ago as evidence? He'd laugh in your face.

If you find new evidence that he is continuing to cheat on her, then you may want to reconsider bringing this forward. Otherwise, it's none of your frelling business.

 

[Disgustipated]

lol how is this even a dilemma. It's ancient history. forget about it. move on.

 

[Thorvald of Lym]

You don't even know 100% that an affair did take place. Stay out of it and keep quiet.

This.

So your moral dilemma is that you wish to commit a serious criminal offence?

And this.

 

[Disgustipated]

LOL I didn't even read the last option. Oh my. Where to start.

By your logic if someone does something bad, it's okay to do something 100 times as bad to them?

One time cheating is not serious offense. I fail to see how this is an evil deed. I have never done it, mind you. But I do know how physical attractions and passion can overpower one. When you are older, maybe you'll understand this.

It scares me you see blackmail as fine. I have know no one that would ever find this acceptable under any conditions. Even the people who do it know it's not right. What would you blackmail him for? Money? Who cares about money? Money is worthless. It can't buy the important things in life.

 

[civ_king]

I sat and talked to one of my best friend a few days ago. We have known each other since as long as we remember. He is moving to another city and we had a long talk all the stuff that we have done. He mentioned a ski trip that I had forgotten. Now the ski trip is coming back to me. We where 9 years old. It was me, my friend and his father. The father being a real carrear man (now financially independent) spent the days working with his laptop in a cafe while we skied in the nearby slopes. One day when we came back we saw him talking to a women who was 10 years younger than him. They continued to talk and in a hushed way exchanged phone numbers. Later that evening after my friend and I had gone to bed my friend's father went out. I don't know when he got home but the next morning when we woke him up he was very tired. The way that he behaved it was obvious that they had a thing for each other.

At the time I thought it was a tad strange. 10 years later I understand what happened. The problem is that he is happily married to my friends mother. They have been married for 20 some years. They are very happy together and affectionate. Now that the father has sold his business they are planning for their early retirement they seem so happy together.

Do I forget the past?

Do I confront the father?

Do I tell the mother?

Do I send an anonymous letter telling them that I saw what happened 10 years ago?

Is it grossly immoral for me to blackmail the father? I see it as a fine. He committed an evil deed and now he has to pay.

1) Are you even sure he had an affair?
2) Things get fuzzy with time and you may be misremembering it
3) If you tell anyone and you were wrong then you are screwed
4) No anonymous letter,
5) If you blackmail a) you lose moral ground b) it's illegal and c) if you are wrong you will definitely have a falling out with your friend and possibly jail

What can you gain from this? Nothing legally
What good can come of this? Nothing

 

[Snorrius]

Is it grossly immoral for me to blackmail the father? I see it as a fine. He committed an evil deed and now he has to pay.

A poor excuse to make some quick cash. Do it if you want, of course, but do not pretend you are doing it because of morality. Understand you just want to extort some money by means of blackmail .

 

[azzaman333]

Pretty sure blackmailing someone is illegal.

So go for it.

 

[MeteorPunch]

You don't even know 100% that an affair did take place. Stay out of it and keep quiet.

I agree. Although if you are just super curious, maybe have a fireside chat with him about it.

 

[AL_DA_GREAT]

Every time I find a good way of making money it is illegal.

I have decieded not to tell.