Wow! What great revelations are coming out!
(Thanks for the complements, Ironduck. But I'm not sure I really deserve them (at least tactics-wise). I this game has taught me anything, it is that my strength as a player is more for growing a Civ than being a warmonger.)
In terms of some of the issues brought up:
By the time Carthage invaded Sardinia, most of my Northern Forces were back from the Celtic/Hun wars (quite a few Elite Legionairy II's and III's). These, combined with the evacuated forces from Siciliy and Sardinia, would have been able to fight off a force of 35+ Elephants/Cavs quite easily. (Be it Greeks or Carths). It would have been nasty if Sicily and Sardinia were bypassed and a direct landing was made near Rome. (and yes...freshly out of Anarchy, I was close to panicking due to the sudden show of strength by the Carths). Once I was able to start cash-rushing units though, my Military grew back very quickly indeed.
In terms of the Carthage original defense of Sicily...it was very, very stiff. We both put a great deal of effort into those initial battles, if I remember right. I think I lost 4-5 of my precious legions during it. The result was that I think both Rome and Carthage were militarily exhausted by the time the "Island Wars" were over. I don't see how Akots could have done much better than Ironduck did, as Ironduck even threw in his precious general, which Carth players don't do from what I've seen on these forums (They wait for elephants or Cavs). 80% of the Roman military was used either Sicily or Sardinia.
I don't know why Akots was so surprised with Roman Settlements on the Danube. I settled there very, very early in the game. At that point I wasn't really trying to limit Greek power or expansion - I just knew from prior experience that those cities could become marginally productive with their locality to Rome. (And they became far more productive when the capital was switched to Genoa!

)
I still think that Akots hiding the Carth invasion force was a low blow, but it was something I might have done in his place, so I really can't blame him!
I regret giving Persia some techs in that it was a direct violation of our agreement with the Greeks, but the collapse of Persia under the previous two rulers was seriously endangering a nicely balanced game.
In the interest of a balanced game, I still don't agree with Loulong's decision to ally with Akots against the crumbling Persians. That was just as bad as having an AI bought in a cheap alliance. (Although I do really appreciate Loulong's playing Egypt so that they weren't brought into an alliance much earlier like other games have shown which creates some balance issues.)
One thing that this game taught me---Legions suck. They are way too expensive considering an enemy cav can quite easily kill them. The second thing (besides protecting my core better!)

was that Armies suck for offensive operations against other humans (where they are targeted unmercifully) - they are much better defensively. Masses of cheap defenders protecting Cavalry was the only way to go for the long slog through Spain --- which got boring for both Ironduck and myself, as it was equivalent to trench warfare.