CAARmen's Asian Wrath
Chapter Two: Damned Spies and Unintelligence
April 2nd- September 13th, 1933
Now, I wish to reconvene our most glorious staff meeting after these months. Now, I will go in chronological order of the major events which may actually affect us, instead of those stupid national holidays that everyone else has that lowers dissent. First, I wish to say that we need more intelligence cabinet members, because every nation and their grandmother is sending spies into our glorious nation. Now obviously, these are all gawkers wishing to see our nation's famous riots, corrupt officials, and inept military, but these tourists block and restrict our horrible infrastructure, so we will execute all non-diplomatic foreigners following this meeting.
I wish to caution you particularly about the illegally separate Tibetans, who seem to enjoy sending monk spies to mock us, and these particularly determined Siamese spies, who are probably here to offer STD services. All Tibetans and Siamese are to be executed on sight for this treasonous activity. Also, the Shanxi are also determined to undermine our nation by sending spies such as their leader into our government, and I wish to execute him as soon as possible, if only he were not an actually effective military leader. I also wish to point our that the evil Mongolians, who probably have a new Genghis Khan, and the Tannu Tuvans, both of which are Soviet puppets, have tried to infiltrate our government. This is obviously the damned communists at work, trying to undermine our glorious corrupt government with slightly less crooked officials, that simply won't do!
Now, I've sent out a bunch of spies in retaliation to Japan, because, y'know, everything bad that happens to us comes from them obviously. Two spy rings managed to bypass the "Japanese Anime Convention", but one was sadly caught by otakus and formally chosen to watch
This Torture Video. Anyways, I also propped up our counterintelligence agency with spies, but they are as inept as their agency's name implies, and so far have not managed to catch one measly spy ring.
That may or may not be related to our counterintelligence's codebook
Now for events in our boring world. I can say with full confidence that 3/4 of major events happening were either Scandinavians celebrating their constitutions, Communists celebrating their
workers slaves, and various independence days. This is one reason I will execute foreigners, because they keep annoying me with messages of stupid holidays. Sadly, I cannot stop this flow, because embassies send us this spam with actually important foreign messages. The actual important events are listed below:
The US makes ownership of gold illegal to citizens because the president's wedding ring looks bad in comparison, the Japanese created an Osakan Metro which we must destroy, Indians rally behind a Gandhi Hunger strike (Possibly related to the lack of Gandhi souvenirs, Chileans 'Cree the Police' in their police investigations (whatever that means), Germany outlaws all non-Nazi political parties, and the Republican Spanish government got replaced by a right-wing party. (As if any other party could be more right-wing than the Republicans)
And finally, to research, of which we actually have SOMETHING to report. Firstly, the National CFC Works finished War Industry, and then finished the technology "Industrial Improvements". Secondly, the Dachs Arsenal finished Prioritizing Infantry. That was replaced by kang'an (tailless took over the city of Chang'An and renamed it this) researching a Basic Submachine Gun, which would help our military fight in cities. Finally, the Germanicus Military Academy finished research on WW1 Doctrines and then Deep Attack doctrines, which improved our morale by over 10%, a nice big leap, and our organization by 5%.
Industrial Research
Now, only Industrial Research actually had newly unlocked technologies. I won't delve into the older ones I mentioned. The new ones are Selective Processes, which boost our IC efficiency even more, Census, which gives us a Manpower boost, and Chemical industry, boosting our energy to oil conversion rate and opening up branches to get even more resources and better energy to oil conversion rates. Which one should be chosen? Also, look at the newly created tech sheet I have provided on our first page bulletin board under all your government positions to see the other techs and their effects we are able to research. I have even categorized them for you.
Situation at End of Staff Meeting
Now, choose your tech choices and decide our next course of action while I delve deeper into the CFC Whiskey Cabinet and have perpetual nightmares of Lefty in my dreams.
I'll do that as soon as I get 5 spies for our counterintelligence network.
