To: United States of America
From: The Middle Kingdom of China
You speak of war so hastily? Without any type of diplomatic overtures previous to this? We are offended.
I am informed by the Crown Prince that your people are an upstart nation, forged in the fires of war fought amongst barbarians in the pursuit of freedom and liberty - misguided ideals for a passionate people. Such is not our concern, but we understand your propensity for aggression.
Furthermore, I am informed by the Grand Admiral of our glorious navy, that your navy, while small, has no ability to project itself globally. The Crown Prince disagrees, arguing that the wherewithal of your people far surpasses that.
I tell you this so that you may understand that we are no mere schismatics, lacking in reason or sensibility, and this, we think, is the foundation for your understanding our methods.
To wit: we have engaged in our activities as a means of protecting our trade, nothing more. Surely you can recognize that, as a sovereign nation, such is our right. It is the foundation of all economics. Your own Adam Smith would agree, or so the Prince tells me.
Furthermore, casualties endured by citizens of your country are the cost of this security, and we regret it had to happen this way.
We have offered all foreign traders a fair deal in trading with our country: our customs system and licensing bureau handle this affair and, for the most part, offer considerable benefits to traders who wish to deal in commodities that are not harmful to our people.
However, the kingdom of China looks down upon opium and its uses, as it is dangerous to our health. We will not allow this damaging trade to go unabated, and have enacted measures to deal with it.
We advise you to inform your merchants of this policy and that those engaging in this illegal opium trade will be dealt with - severely.
The Prince also would like to mention that he finds the Congressional system of lawmaking "peculiarly clever," which I, personally, find to be a joke.
Meng Zhi Meng, Foreign Affairs Advisor to the Imperial Court of China
To: Sweden
From: The Middle Kingdom of China
Does Sweden speak for the rest of the world now? Your performance in your latest conflict with the Spanish would seem to say otherwise. Indeed, it says volumes to the Middle Kingdom.
We are quite impatient with the impudence of Swedes in the nation, especially in their behaviors disrupting trade. We have studied European pirate mechanics and we have observed how the Swedes, with complete lack of respect for the other nations of the world, assault and rob Spanish, English, and Dutch ships. Maybe not servants of the Crown, but brigands nonetheless.
We have worked tirelessly to reduce the piracy in the region and restore order. We have sought to secure our borders against the drug trade and we know the Swedes have been the greatest flaunters of our sovereign rights. The Spanish, at least, practice basic laws of civility - you could learn a lot from them. You seem to have a habit of driving your armies against the stone of their resilience, and like a hammer they crushed you.
Additionally, we are making further efforts to improve the status of foreign traders who seek to do business with us who are not in the opium trade business - the only ones resistant to this change are the Swedish traders. We must advise that you caution your people against such brazen acts of illegality in the region as our willingness to deal with this threat is being drawn quite thin. We are attempting to phase Spanish, American, and Dutch traders into the system in a way that involves less blood shed, and we furthermore try to protect the capitol of those who do business with us. Again, Swedish have seemed unwilling to follow the crowd.
This is completely your own lookout. Should you seek to pursue a hard line in response to our utterly fair methods, so be it. But we will not fold to your arrogance. Come back when you have learned to be polite, like the British, or efficient, like the Spanish. We understand to expect less barbarism of you is perhaps extravagant, but we're hoping you can prove us wrong.
Meng Zhi Meng, Foreign Affairs Advisor to the Imperial Court of China
