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Comedy Improv One-Liner Thread 3.0

Discussion in 'Humor & Jokes' started by Zack, Mar 1, 2015.

  1. Zack

    Zack 99% hot gas

    Joined:
    Feb 19, 2009
    Messages:
    16,747
    Location:
    insert joke
  2. GPuzzle

    GPuzzle Available in wax cylinder!

    Joined:
    Jul 31, 2014
    Messages:
    2,184
    Location:
    алриг
    What is there with me today was in the high society yesterday.
     
  3. madviking

    madviking north american scum

    Joined:
    May 22, 2005
    Messages:
    11,337
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    flavortown
    utter crap
     
  4. jackelgull

    jackelgull An aberration of nature

    Joined:
    Dec 30, 2013
    Messages:
    3,238
    Location:
    Within the realm of impossibility
    Can be bought cheaply
     
  5. Fr8monkey

    Fr8monkey Deity

    Joined:
    Nov 24, 2001
    Messages:
    2,531
    Location:
    In the world of tomorrow!!
    Never looks like it does in the commercials.
     
  6. west india man

    west india man Immortal

    Joined:
    Aug 29, 2008
    Messages:
    9,326
    Location:
    Brazil
  7. Kennigit

    Kennigit proud 2 boxer

    Joined:
    Apr 29, 2007
    Messages:
    6,959
    Location:
    gatech alum
    I'm spending a lot of singles on "Candy"
     
  8. Verarde

    Verarde Pondering Wearing A Hat

    Joined:
    Nov 25, 2009
    Messages:
    3,795
    Location:
    Northern VA
    Eventually something I like gets removed and replaced with something much less enjoyable.
     
  9. _random_

    _random_ Jewel Runner

    Joined:
    Feb 18, 2008
    Messages:
    6,793
    Location:
    Behind the man behind the throne
    It involves larger quantities of french fries than is reasonable but much smaller quantities than I'd like.
     
  10. gay_Aleks

    gay_Aleks communism will win.

    Joined:
    Feb 20, 2013
    Messages:
    10,791
    Location:
    Nightvale, US
    Frequently mocked.
     
  11. bhavv

    bhavv Glorious World Dictator

    Joined:
    Jun 13, 2006
    Messages:
    7,358
    Not worth experiencing.
     
  12. azzaman333

    azzaman333 meh

    Joined:
    Apr 9, 2005
    Messages:
    22,877
    Location:
    Melbourne, AUS Reputation:131^(9/2)
    As cheap as possible.
     
  13. bhavv

    bhavv Glorious World Dictator

    Joined:
    Jun 13, 2006
    Messages:
    7,358
    I have a better one:

    Just as low in quality, and as high a disappointment.
     
  14. Snerk

    Snerk Smeghead

    Joined:
    Jan 16, 2006
    Messages:
    7,638
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Norway. You'll never leave
    Worth a dollar.
     
  15. Zack

    Zack 99% hot gas

    Joined:
    Feb 19, 2009
    Messages:
    16,747
    Location:
    insert joke
    Fr8monkey wins.
     
  16. Fr8monkey

    Fr8monkey Deity

    Joined:
    Nov 24, 2001
    Messages:
    2,531
    Location:
    In the world of tomorrow!!
    I think my cat is trying to kill me because....
     
  17. Zack

    Zack 99% hot gas

    Joined:
    Feb 19, 2009
    Messages:
    16,747
    Location:
    insert joke
    He never says "I love you" anymore.
     
  18. Snerk

    Snerk Smeghead

    Joined:
    Jan 16, 2006
    Messages:
    7,638
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Norway. You'll never leave
    The dead birds he's bringing me isn't gifts, it's warnings.
     
  19. jackelgull

    jackelgull An aberration of nature

    Joined:
    Dec 30, 2013
    Messages:
    3,238
    Location:
    Within the realm of impossibility
    His litter box is a tool of biological warfare.
     
  20. Gori the Grey

    Gori the Grey The Poster

    Joined:
    Jan 5, 2009
    Messages:
    7,205
    I'm kinda paranoid that way.
     

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