Comedy Improv One-Liner Thread 3.0

[Zack]

Part One

Part Two

My life is like the dollar menu:

 

[GPuzzle]

What is there with me today was in the high society yesterday.

 

[madviking]

utter crap

 

[jackelgull]

Part One

Part Two

My life is like the dollar menu:

Can be bought cheaply

 

[Fr8monkey]

Never looks like it does in the commercials.

 

[W|M]

Almost worthless

 

[Kennigit]

I'm spending a lot of singles on "Candy"

 

[Verarde]

Eventually something I like gets removed and replaced with something much less enjoyable.

 

[_random_]

It involves larger quantities of french fries than is reasonable but much smaller quantities than I'd like.

 

[gay_Aleks]

Frequently mocked.

 

[bhavv]

Not worth experiencing.

 

[azzaman333]

As cheap as possible.

 

[bhavv]

I have a better one:

Just as low in quality, and as high a disappointment.

 

[Snerk]

Worth a dollar.

 

[Zack]

Fr8monkey wins.

 

[Fr8monkey]

I think my cat is trying to kill me because....

 

[Zack]

He never says "I love you" anymore.

 

[Snerk]

The dead birds he's bringing me isn't gifts, it's warnings.

 

[jackelgull]

I think my cat is trying to kill me because....

His litter box is a tool of biological warfare.

 

[Gori the Grey]

I'm kinda paranoid that way.