Comedy Improv One-Liner Thread 3.0

[Verarde]

My teammates always get the glory.

 

[Snerk]

My love life is like a game of football...

I don't play football.

 

[azzaman333]

My teammates always get the glory.

I liked this one.

 

[Daedwartin]

Growing old is like standing in line at the DMV..

It leads to a decline in motor skills.

The longer you do it, the more cynical and grumpy you become.

you wait your turn

A lack of insurance could be devastating at the end.

Just waiting for your number to be called.

You want to end it as soon as possible

That is why you fill out all the paperwork you can before you head over, get an appointment, then go over. When my parents got me my ID, it took like 30 minutes and we were out, because we didnt have to wait in the long normal line, but the fast track line for appointments. And with the paperwork already done, they didnt have to wait for us to do that.

My teammates always get the glory.

They be jealous, because I got the MVP and Interview.

 

[Verarde]

My life is like midterm exams...

 

[jackelgull]

My life is like midterm exams...

I crammed everything I needed to know in one day

 

[GPuzzle]

It's slowly killing me through excess anxiety.

 

[Zack]

A massive inconvenience to everyone involved.

 

[Fr8monkey]

I have failed at both...

 

[Daedwartin]

But that's why my job has bonuses like trips to Bermuda.

 

[azzaman333]

A pointless bit of stress that means next to nothing in the grand scheme of things.

 

[madviking]

My life is like midterm exams...

i skate by

 

[JollyRoger]

Coeds are using me to cheat.

 

[Snerk]

Lots of rules, and no mercy.

 

[Verarde]

Lots of rules, and no mercy.

A massive inconvenience to everyone involved.

Spoiler :

i skate by

 

[madviking]

my relationship with my parents is like a movie

 

[Zack]

90 minutes of passive disinterest.

 

[_random_]

My dad always ruins it by talking.

 

[azzaman333]

I try to avoid them as much as possible.

 

[JollyRoger]

The sequel was terrible