The Boring Reign of Tim The Sleepy
In the year "3500 before something big happens" a man named Tim rose to leadership of the Chinese. But Tim was a bored, for there was nothing to do. His citizens caught Pheasants for him to eat, while others prepared an expedition of settlers to claim more lands for Tim.
Tim had a treasury of many shiny coins, but couldn't figure out what to do with them, so he rested...
3500 (0)Hit enter
...and rested...
3450 (1) Ho-hum
...and rested...
3400 (2) La-di-da
...and rested...
3350 (3) Z-z-z-z-z
...and rested for 200 years. At this point Tim woke from his slumber. Frustrated that nothing substantial had happened in the past 200 years, he grabbed 44 of the coins and threw them violently at the workers preparing the settler expedition. This act spurred the workers to be much more productive and they completed the settlers very quickly thereafter
3300 (4) Rush settler 44g taking advantage of settler not disbanding first-and-only city.
As the settlers left town, Tim announced that he had grown tired of eating pheasants. He also did not care much to be around his own subjects and did not want the people to have enough food to feed children - so the city of Beijing did not grow. The settlers reported back that they had located a great fishery off the coast north of Beijing, but Tim would not allow his workers to go there, for fear that they would find food to feed more insufferable children.
3250 (5) Settler created
- From what Ive seen, the 2nd citizen in a city will need to be an elvis, which we cant support with the settler right now, so I halt food production by working ocean (giving 1 g, 2b and still producing 1s).
- Interestingly the 3 shields carried over from producing the settler are put towards the new production. Thats unusual.
- Switch to barracks (soon to be temple) losing 1s
- settler heads north to reveal Fish special (Dang I wanted a whale)
3200 (6) Settler explore
In the year "3150 before something big happens" the 3 wisest men of Beijing approached Tim.
Wise man #1: Oh mighty Tim! We bring to you the plans of a great trick that will help you rule the land!
Tim: What is this trick, oh ye foolish nerds?
Wise Man #2: We shall bury the bodies of our dead
.
Tim: Ye-gads won't that stink? Guard!!! Off with his head!
Wise man #2 finds himself a bit less top-heavy than before.
Wiseman #3: Um, your greatness, if I may humbly explain, we will say we are burying the bodies so they may go on to a greater life after death!
Tim: But won't that mean everyone will want to go on to that greater life? They'll all kill themselves and no one will be left to work!
GUARD!!! Send that one to his "greater life" with his friend.
Wise man #3 bites the dust.
Wiseman #1: Ok, before you cut my head off too, here's the deal...We tell the people they only go to a good life-after-death if they work incredibly hard all their life. Also, we will build temples where they can pray to the powerful ancestors who have made
you their leader....
Tim: Guard!!!
Wiseman 1 calmly closes his eyes and raises his chin, allowing the guard a clean swing at his neck
Tim: ...take this man out into the city and give him the finest food and women in our city. Then arrange for him to study whatsoever he chooses for the rest of his days.
Tim ordered the building under construction in Beijing to be changed to one of these temples. At this time, Tim went back to sleep. His settlers continued to wander and work in the wilderness, but Tim cared not about them. He only wanted to sleep.
3150 (7) Ceremonial Burial -> Alphabet (HBR) Move settler
- switch barracks to temple
3100 (8) Start road
3050 (9) build Road for new city
150 years later, word came back from the settlers that they were prepared to build a new city, if that is what Tim wished. One of his guards went to wake Tim and found that he had died in his sleep.
3000 (10) Move settler to potential city square.
Well that was uneventful. Hopefully I wasnt out of line taking advantage of the free settler exploit. Its not among the disallowed items in the GOTM rules. If its a problem, go ahead and shoot me and I (or someone else) can play the turns over.
The settler is at the potential site of our next city. But thats a choice for our next fearless leader.