Dumb and Stupid Quotes Thread: Idiotic Source and Context are Key.

[ReindeerThistle]

"A Chicago communist-raised, communist-educated, communist-nurtured subhuman mongrel..."
—

Ted Nugent on President Obama

As a Communist, Ted Nugent once again insults me...

Why doesn't he just shut up and needlessly murder slow furry animals for food?

 

[Antilogic]

At least murdering furry animals is a little better than being a pedophile.

 

[SS-18 ICBM]

Well, wildlife management is a thing that does need to be done.

Anyway, the current state of today's FPS player.
"Dont say M240B. Say 240Bravo. Thats what people in the army says."
-Snuggly T-Rex, comment on M240B LMG Review: Best "Heavy" Machine Guns - Battlefield 4

 

[Cutlass]

"What's the difference between Hillary Clinton and a catfish. One has whiskers and stinks, and the other is a fish."
-- private-equity executive Paul Queally at the Wall Street secret society Kappa Beta Phi annual dinner

"What's the biggest difference between Barney Frank and a Fenway frank? Barney Frank comes in different-size buns."
-- Paul Queally

"In Wall Street land we'll take our stand, said Morgan and Goldman. But first we better get some loans, so quick, get to the Fed, man."
-- investment banker Warren Stephens, while wearing a Confederate cap, to the tune of "Dixie"

"Can you $^$&()' believe Lasry up there? He just gave me a ride in his jet a month ago."
-- Fortress Investment Group founder Michael Novogratz, at the same dinner

"I believe that God has a plan for all of us. I believe my plan involves a seven-figure bonus."
-- new society members, singing to the tune of "I Believe"

"What happens at the St. Regis stays at the St. Regis."
-- Kappa Beta Phi motto

 

[SS-18 ICBM]

"I believe that God has a plan for all of us. I believe my plan involves a seven-figure bonus."
-- new society members, singing to the tune of "I Believe"

Oh come on, it's not like they mean that with any microgram of sincerity.

 

[dutchfire]

How secret is this secret society if you can read the highlights of their dinner in CFC OT?

 

[bhsup]

So secret they are in actual fact communists and the dinner is their cover.

 

[Cheezy the Wiz]

So secret they are in actual fact communists and the dinner is their cover.

In that case it was probably just cosplay.

"Hey comrade, we need someone to play a JP Morgan bankster tonight. I'm going as an AIG trader and Jack here's gonna be the Fed rep we try to convince to bail us out!"

 

[hobbsyoyo]

This happened Thursday when the campus was evacuated due to a series of gas-line leaks:

We started getting notifications on our phones to evacuate while we were in the middle of lecture and we informed the professor and he dismissed us on the spot. On my way out of the building, I noticed a class that was in the middle of a test. Since they were testing, they didn't have their phones out, so they didn't know about the evacuation order. Being a good human being, I poked my head in the door and said,
"There has been a couple of gas leaks and the school has ordered an immediate evacuation of the entire campus."
The professor looks at me with a puzzled look and says, "Even during a test?"
I glare at him and said, "It's your life dude"
Then a student told me to "Stop talking and close the door".

The professor made the students stay and finish the test because he literally values his test over the lives of everyone in the room. I imagine if I had instead said, "GUNMAN ON CAMPUS, GET OUT!" they might have done it because, you know, gas leaks are totes NBD.

 

[Antilogic]

How secret is this secret society if you can read the highlights of their dinner in CFC OT?

A reporter snuck in and was recording the thing. Then he got caught and they actually tried to bribe him to prevent the story from coming out.

I am not making this up.



My contribution to the thread, courtesy of our genius teahadist leader praise unto his name Judson Phillips:
"Should a devote [sic] baker be required to create a cake for a homosexual wedding that has a giant phallic symbol on it or should a baker be required to create pastries for a homosexual wedding in the shape of genitallia [sic]? ... Or should a photographer be required to photograph a homosexual wedding where the participants decide they want to be nude or engage in sexual behavior? Would they force a Jewish photographer to work a Klan or Nazi event? How about forcing a Muslim caterer to work a pork barbeque [sic] dinner?"

 

[Cutlass]

"I feel like 'embattled' or 'disgraced' will always follow my name. It's like that black football player who recently came out."
—

Paula Deen

 

[ReindeerThistle]

"I feel like 'embattled' or 'disgraced' will always follow my name. It's like that black football player who recently came out."
—

Paula Deen

Oh mah gawd... this is the 21st Century, people.

 

[Cheezy the Wiz]

My contribution to the thread, courtesy of our genius teahadist leader praise unto his name Judson Phillips:
"Should a devote [sic] baker be required to create a cake for a homosexual wedding that has a giant phallic symbol on it or should a baker be required to create pastries for a homosexual wedding in the shape of genitallia [sic]? ... Or should a photographer be required to photograph a homosexual wedding where the participants decide they want to be nude or engage in sexual behavior? Would they force a Jewish photographer to work a Klan or Nazi event? How about forcing a Muslim caterer to work a pork barbeque [sic] dinner?"

Does he honestly think a cake for a gay wedding is going to come from a bakery?

 

[ReindeerThistle]

Does he honestly think a cake for a gay wedding is going to come from a bakery?

I've been to a lot of pride festivals and my friend officiates same-sex weddings. I have yet to see phallic-shaped anything. These are family events.

But the muslim thing is just rich.

 

[Borachio]

an ancient pond / a frog jumps in / the splash of water

Matsuo Basho

a prisoner kneels/ a sword descends / the splash of blood

Zizek (paraphrase)

 

[Cutlass]

"Obama has released the homo demons on the black man. Look out black woman. A white homo may take your man."
—

sign posted by ALAH Worldwide Missionary Church in Harlem

 

[Cheezy the Wiz]

“We still place far too much emphasis on our ‘separateness,’ our heritage, ethnic background, skin color, etc. We live in the age of hyphenated Americans: Asian-Americans, Italian-Americans, African-Americans, Mexican-Americans, Cuban-Americans, Indian-Americans, and Native Americans, to name just a few. Here’s an idea: How about just ‘Americans?’ That has a nice ring to it, if you ask me. Placing undue emphasis on our ‘separateness’ is a step backward. Bring back the melting pot. There is nothing wrong with people being proud of their different heritages. We have a long tradition of folks from all different backgrounds incorporating their traditions into the American experience, but we must resist the politically correct trend of changing the melting pot into a salad bowl. E pluribus Unum.”

- Bobby Jindal.

Jindal thinks that racism wouldn't exist if minorities would just act like White people.

What he, and other anti-hyphenated-Americans don't understand is, a melting pot changes the nature of all materials put in it, not just the small bits. When you add carbon to iron, the carbon changes...but so does the iron, and through that, both emerge as one stronger material.

 

[Antilogic]

I've been to a lot of pride festivals and my friend officiates same-sex weddings. I have yet to see phallic-shaped anything. These are family events.

But the muslim thing is just rich.

I think Judson Phillips is under the mistaken impression that (a) teh gayz only consume desserts that are phallic-shaped, and (b) penis cakes aren't sold to ordinary ladies having a bachelorette party.

"Obama has released the homo demons on the black man. Look out black woman. A white homo may take your man."

This reminds me of the TYT's new pastor friend, who could fill this entire thread with his utterly insane ramblings.

“We still place far too much emphasis on our ‘separateness,’ our heritage, ethnic background, skin color, etc. We live in the age of hyphenated Americans: Asian-Americans, Italian-Americans, African-Americans, Mexican-Americans, Cuban-Americans, Indian-Americans, and Native Americans, to name just a few. Here’s an idea: How about just ‘Americans?’ That has a nice ring to it, if you ask me. Placing undue emphasis on our ‘separateness’ is a step backward. Bring back the melting pot. There is nothing wrong with people being proud of their different heritages. We have a long tradition of folks from all different backgrounds incorporating their traditions into the American experience, but we must resist the politically correct trend of changing the melting pot into a salad bowl. E pluribus Unum.”

- Bobby Jindal.

Jindal thinks that racism wouldn't exist if minorities would just act like White people.

What he, and other anti-hyphenated-Americans don't understand is, a melting pot changes the nature of all materials put in it, not just the small bits. When you add carbon to iron, the carbon changes...but so does the iron, and through that, both emerge as one stronger material.

He has apparently never encountered a book on 19th century social history, because that whole melting pot thing was a vastly oversimplified and bad metaphor to start with.

 

[Cheezy the Wiz]

The strangest part is, he's not a white native, he's Indian. I don't know if he thinks that gives him extra street cred when speaking about immigrant issues, or what, but you would think a recent immigrant would understand this concept better.

 

[SS-18 ICBM]

The salad bowl sounds healthier.