Hobbes
Utilitarian Despot
After asking for some outrageous concessions from the Iroquois, Hiawatha replied back, "And I suppose you want Manhattan also".
Funniest Thing the Computer has Said?
- Thread starter KnightOwl
- Start date
socrateach
Chieftain
In my new game as the Chinese, Japan was in the way of my expansion, so I eventually goaded them into a war. Along the way to conflict, their shogun had three nice things to say.
1) "A herd of Chinese swine have been spotted rooting among the garbage near Kyoto. Why?"
2) "What? You have the gall to offer Japan THIS?!? No! No! No! A thousand times, NO! Somebody hold me back before I gut this jackal!"
3) Inconceivable! You must think we're idiots!"
Ah, it is so rewarding to make the AI furious...
1) "A herd of Chinese swine have been spotted rooting among the garbage near Kyoto. Why?"
2) "What? You have the gall to offer Japan THIS?!? No! No! No! A thousand times, NO! Somebody hold me back before I gut this jackal!"
3) Inconceivable! You must think we're idiots!"
Ah, it is so rewarding to make the AI furious...
Sixchan
Emperor
Bismark(after refusing to gve him techs): "Ha! So you DO have some backbone! I was just joking, anyway."
DBSD13
Chieftain
When the Japanese units crossed into my border n ar asked to leave, they say sumthin like coming over for "a bowl of rice for a poor neighbor"
lol
lol
Military advisor, in 2000 BC, when Pasargadae just was defected to the Zulus:
Pasargadae has...blah...blah...worse yet, the citizens of Pasargadae says that they are impressed by the so-called culture of the Zulus! Go figure...
Culture of the Zulus? Yeah, right.
Elizabeth's classic:
I can offer you n gold for {tech} and that's cutting me own throat. Hilarious, at least to Pratchett fans (I saw one posting this earlier, I just wanted to mention that good ol' Abe Lincoln said this as well).
Pasargadae has...blah...blah...worse yet, the citizens of Pasargadae says that they are impressed by the so-called culture of the Zulus! Go figure...
Culture of the Zulus? Yeah, right.
Elizabeth's classic:
I can offer you n gold for {tech} and that's cutting me own throat. Hilarious, at least to Pratchett fans (I saw one posting this earlier, I just wanted to mention that good ol' Abe Lincoln said this as well).
What serious Bodo/glimt 5 Brann 1. When was this.
Anyway..
When Alexander demanded techs or money or something I refused. He replies along the lines of
Um, yeah, well I'm too busy to attack you right now.
I cant remember how it went it was last week.. sorry.
Anyway..
When Alexander demanded techs or money or something I refused. He replies along the lines of
Um, yeah, well I'm too busy to attack you right now.
I cant remember how it went it was last week.. sorry.
The Splang
BOB...
Hiawatha: "You wanna go PUNK? Come on, make my day"*
*Im probably alittle off but you get the idea
*Im probably alittle off but you get the idea
Vinc
Prince
Montuezama (sorry for spelling mistakes, I can't remember his name correctly
) from the Aztecs told me this after I proposed him a deal.
I have prayed the gods for guidance on your offer. They recommend that I laugh heartily and throw you into a pit filled with scorpions.
LOL!!!
) from the Aztecs told me this after I proposed him a deal.I have prayed the gods for guidance on your offer. They recommend that I laugh heartily and throw you into a pit filled with scorpions.
LOL!!!
joespaniel
Unescorted Settler
Asking for tribute - "When one meets a tiger, its better to give it a meal, rather than become a meal."
GRRRRRRRR!
GRRRRRRRR!
joespaniel
Unescorted Settler
I gave a gold tribute to Bismark early in a game, and he said -
"You have taken the cowards way out, I see. Excellent!"
"You have taken the cowards way out, I see. Excellent!"
Ohwell
Deity
"I will burn in hell before giving in to your demands"
Hehe
Hehe
I'm surprised no one's brought up what they say if you ask for a Right of Passage after you double-cross them. "I'll give you a right of passage--to hell! I remember the last time we had such an agreement....".
Also I asked Abe for a loan of gold in the Ancient Age, and he said, "Sorry, all my money's tied up in dot.com stocks."
Also I asked Abe for a loan of gold in the Ancient Age, and he said, "Sorry, all my money's tied up in dot.com stocks."
PanaGo
Chieftain
Yeah,it would be nice to see the dialogues change depending on the eras. In industrial age Montezuma could say "In honor of this agreement and your friendship, I shall sacrifice ONE virgin,if I can find one, in your honor." and later he could say "In honor of this...blah blah...I will sacrifice nine DVD players in your honor."
ComradeRed
Civilized Expansionist
One thing I always found funny, is when you have most of the world mapped, and you offer to trade maps and give them perhaps some gold or a tech, even when you try to give them your world map for their territory map, your advisor says "They would be insulted by this offer." Whereas they're cheating you in the deal.
Caesar, after me refusing to pay tribute:
"I see. If it weren't for the...uh...political situation of Rome, we would be destroying you - utterly.
Sorry if this is a trifle off-topic, but I like to answer the questions I get. So to Baleog, Bodø/Glimt beat Brann 5-1 in the end of September this year. They aren't that bad, you know!
"I see. If it weren't for the...uh...political situation of Rome, we would be destroying you - utterly.
Sorry if this is a trifle off-topic, but I like to answer the questions I get. So to Baleog, Bodø/Glimt beat Brann 5-1 in the end of September this year. They aren't that bad, you know!
K
knowltok
Guest
Some mentioned it earlier, but I'll try to put it all in: Revolutions
"So you say you want a revolution?
* Yeah, you know its going to be alright
* No, You can count me out.
Classic.
"So you say you want a revolution?
* Yeah, you know its going to be alright
* No, You can count me out.
Classic.
lordv8er
Chieftain
After asking the Chinese for some outrageous demand he replied
Id rather eat dung, than to give into your demands!
I about fell out on the floor laughing!
Id rather eat dung, than to give into your demands!
I about fell out on the floor laughing!
This wasn't as much what the computer said, but England offered me an alliance against someone for a right of passage. I made a counterproposal, looked at the advisor, and he said it would be unlikely they'd take their own deal. Now THAT'S cutting their throat.
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