Funny IM messages

[Snow]

Perhaps it's just me, but I do *not* happen to find that one very funny. Sorry.

I'll read the rest of it later, but if the rest of the content is of that nature I'll stick with bash.org.

Sorry, that's why I put the little warning at the begining. I had just found that site like 2 hours before I posted it, I spent all that time in between reading those things. Some had my stomach hurting I laughed so hard, but others I found pretty disgusting as well. The people who wrote those had some, well dark sense of humors to say the least.

EDIT: Almost forgot to warn people of the "VictimX14." It is by far the most morally repugnant. Not Funny, Just Disgusting. Don't read it. Tust me.

 

[Dreadnought]

<i8b4uUnderground> d-_-b
<BonyNoMore> how u make that inverted b?
<BonyNoMore> wait
<BonyNoMore> never mind

Where did you find these?

 

[CivFan91]

Snow, I was in a bad mood that morning. I'm sorry. I still don't find being drafted into NAMBLA funny, but I'm going to check out the rest. It's just the NAMBLA thing I can't get around, much less find funny. :-/

EDIT: "Well, a kid has to learn about secks somewhere..."

 

[SoCalian]

"I put on my robe and wizard hat.." I love that one!

It's great when you can say that, and people who know what you're talking about just bust up laughing at it.

 

[SoCalian]

http://www.adamchance.com/funny/evilfats4.htm
http://www.adamchance.com/funny/evilfats1.htm
http://www.adamchance.com/funny/evilfats2.htm
http://www.adamchance.com/funny/evilfats3.htm

That's all I could find off of that site, which seems to be incompleate, so, I found and email in all of the browsing around in there that I did, and emailed about it.

 

[FriendlyFire]

MsPackman01 (4:28:29 PM): i'm gonna look up horse ranches in the yellow pages

ahaha .

 

[GoldEagle]

1.GiMpY5509: did i give u that link to that song that i can play on drums?
DramaticBabe69: no
GiMpY5509: http://www.bestbuy.com/site/olspage.jsp?skuId=1875796&type=product&id=106560
GiMpY5509: click on self esteem
DramaticBabe69: ok
DramaticBabe69: is tht u playin?
GiMpY5509: ...
GiMpY5509: I SAID THAT I CAN PLAY IT-not that I was actually playing
GiMpY5509: That CD was released in 1994
GiMpY5509: I was 3 then

2. GimpY5509: rockledge iceplex
DramaticBabe69: is that a skating rink?
GiMpY5509: no, its a place where u get to go n shovel snow
DramaticBabe69: That sounds boring...
DramaticBabe69: WAIT

3. GiMpY5509: theyre convictin MJ @ 445 today
oXdOrInDaLyNnXo: lol
oXdOrInDaLyNnXo: on wut?
GiMpY5509: on like TV
oXdOrInDaLyNnXo: yea wut channel
GiMpY5509: 60 for sure
GiMpY5509: i think that crime tv
GiMpY5509: but prolly like 13
oXdOrInDaLyNnXo: ok
GiMpY5509: hell get max 20 yrs in prison
oXdOrInDaLyNnXo: aww poor mikey
GiMpY5509: so u want him to go free for molesting kids?
oXdOrInDaLyNnXo: he ddint do it
GiMpY5509: ...
GiMpY5509: hav u been living under a rock for the past 10 years or sumthing?
oXdOrInDaLyNnXo: no
oXdOrInDaLyNnXo: i think hes inacent
GiMpY5509: thats like saying "i think the 5 guys from queer eye for the strait guy arent gay"
oXdOrInDaLyNnXo: lol


.........


part 2(after the verdict was announced):
oXdOrInDaLyNnXo: i told u!!!
GiMpY5509: just cuz the jury said he was innocent doesnt mean he was
GiMpY5509: the jury also said that OJ Simpson was innocent...
oXdOrInDaLyNnXo: n he was 2
GiMpY5509: ...
oXdOrInDaLyNnXo: wait wutr did he do?
GiMpY5509: he stabbed his ex wife and her boyfriend to death...
oXdOrInDaLyNnXo: o y?
oXdOrInDaLyNnXo: did she cheat on him?
GiMpY5509: ...EX WIFE and her BOYFRIEND
GiMpY5509: ...he was mad at her bcuz she was seeing sum1 else, even though they had divorced
oXdOrInDaLyNnXo: o
GiMpY5509: he was jealous so he stabbed them to death
oXdOrInDaLyNnXo: well he was mad he lost his grl
GiMpY5509: ...
GiMpY5509: so that means he should KILL them????
oXdOrInDaLyNnXo: well no...

Two old, OLD convsersation. Please excuse my "leet talk" and my dumb screenname, I was 13 at the time.

 

[Truronian]

I like this one:

*** Now talking in #christian
-Word_of_God- Welcome Abstruse to #christian I am a Bible Bot. For more info type: /msg Word_of_God !info
<Abstruse> !kjv numbers 22:21
<Word_of_God> Numbers 22:21 -- And Balaam rose up in the morning, and saddled his ass, and went with the princes of Moab. - (KJV)
*** SageRider sets mode: +b *!*@c211-30-208-111.rivrw3.nsw.optusnet.com.au
*** Word_of_God was kicked from #christian by SageRider (Please dont Swear)
<Abstruse> I know I'm never going to be able to come back in this channel again after this, but damn was it worth it to see that...

 

[megalomaniac]

I found this one funny because I happen to be a US Marine (kinda bugs me that they're absent from CIV4, but thats another topic)

<O.J.> Radio interview quote from Marine Corps General Reinwald and a female radio host. He wants to host some boy scouts at the training center for some practise excercises. As follows
<FEMALE INTERVIEWER>: So, General Reinwald, what things are you going to teach these young boys when they visit your base?
<GENERAL REINWALD>: We're going to teach them climbing, canoeing, archery, and shooting.
<FEMALE INTERVIEWER>: Shooting! That's a bit irresponsible, isn't it?
<GENERAL REINWALD>: I don't see why, they'll be properly supervised on the rifle range.
<FEMALE INTERVIEWER>: Don't you admit that this is a terribly dangerous activity to be teaching children?
<GENERAL REINWALD>: I don't see how. We will be teaching them proper rifle discipline before they even touch a firearm.
<FEMALE INTERVIEWER>: But you're equipping them to become violent killers.
<GENERAL REINWALD>: Well, you're equipped to be a prostitute, but you're not one, are you?
The radio went silent and the interview ended. You gotta love the Marines!

 

[Abaddon]

I found this one funny because I happen to be a US Marine (kinda bugs me that they're absent from CIV4, but thats another topic)

<O.J.> Radio interview quote from Marine Corps General Reinwald and a female radio host. He wants to host some boy scouts at the training center for some practise excercises. As follows
<FEMALE INTERVIEWER>: So, General Reinwald, what things are you going to teach these young boys when they visit your base?
<GENERAL REINWALD>: We're going to teach them climbing, canoeing, archery, and shooting.
<FEMALE INTERVIEWER>: Shooting! That's a bit irresponsible, isn't it?
<GENERAL REINWALD>: I don't see why, they'll be properly supervised on the rifle range.
<FEMALE INTERVIEWER>: Don't you admit that this is a terribly dangerous activity to be teaching children?
<GENERAL REINWALD>: I don't see how. We will be teaching them proper rifle discipline before they even touch a firearm.
<FEMALE INTERVIEWER>: But you're equipping them to become violent killers.
<GENERAL REINWALD>: Well, you're equipped to be a prostitute, but you're not one, are you?
The radio went silent and the interview ended. You gotta love the Marines!

Sorry but thats just genius!

 

[Heretic_Cata]

@megalomaniac:
I would sure like to know what the interviewer's response was.

 

[SoCalian]

thats brilliant.

 

[LLXerxes]

Holy crap! I'm on bash.org!

http://bash.org/?697126

 

[Ultima Dragoon]

Damn, I was just about to post that. Nerts.

<Donut[AFK]> HEY EURAKARTE
<Donut[AFK]> INSULT
<Eurakarte> RETORT
<Donut[AFK]> COUNTER-RETORT
<Eurakarte> QUESTIONING OF SEXUAL PREFERENCE
<Donut[AFK]> SUGGESTION TO SHUT THE **** UP
<Eurakarte> NOTATION THAT YOU CREATE A VACUUM
<Donut[AFK]> RIPOSTE
<Donut[AFK]> ADDON RIPOSTE
<Eurakarte> COUNTER-RIPOSTE
<Donut[AFK]> COUNTER-COUNTER RIPOSTE
<Eurakarte> NONSENSICAL STATEMENT INVOLVING PLANKTON
<Miles_Prower> RESPONSE TO RANDOM STATEMENT AND THREAT TO BAN OPPOSING SIDES
<Eurakarte> WORDS OF PRAISE FOR FISHFOOD
<Miles_Prower> ACKNOWLEDGEMENT AND ACCEPTENCE OF TERMS

<jeebus> the "bishop" came to our church today
<jeebus> he was a ****** impostor
<jeebus> never once moved diagonally

And finally, the ultimate quote,

SparTacus (rulimbaww@3B942731.dsl.stlsmo.swbell.net) has joined #santcuary
*SparTacus is now known as Betty_Guns
wacko Jacko (lbeedy@1C57684.dsl.stlsmo.swbell.net) has joined #santcuary
<wacko_Jacko>ok spartacus just came n here i know it. which one of you is that loser?
<hunney> I am spartacus
<ji_pper>no im spartacus
<Betty_Guns>I am spartacus
<mistr andersn>I&#8217;m spartacus
<wacko_Jacko>ur all freaks thats what u r

 

[Heretic_Cata]

^
The first one especially is

Btw, LLXerxes i like your new avatar. I still have that game on my comp.

 

[CivFan91]

<Altair> hey guys
<Altair> gotta question for you all.
<Altair> If you could listen to one song before you died, what would it be?
<Spike> The song that never ends?


<Saruman> AAAAAAAAAAAAH TEH ENTS ARE COMING!!!!!!1
*** Quits: <Saruman> (Excess Flood)

 

[carmen510]

Quote:
<jeebus> the "bishop" came to our church today
<jeebus> he was a ****** impostor
<jeebus> never once moved diagonally

 

[The Omega]

<AL9000> I think it would be funny to bust up into somewhere wearing a trenchcoat and start shooting people with a brightly colored Super Soaker, and then after the intitial shock is over and people are laughing or getting pissed off, you pull out a real gun and start taking them down
<AL9000> But that's just me



Greatest..... Quote..... Ever....

 

[Narz]

so you just found bash, eh? well then you are in for a treat. probbably the best is from bloodninja, but there is a whole site for that.
http://www.adamchance.com/funny.htm

wanring, sexual humor, and offensive language.

oh man, I can't believe I read the whole thing

 

[Kan' Sharuminar]

<Stormrider> I should bomb something
<Stormrider> ...and it's off the cuff remarks like that that are the reason I don't log chats
<Stormrider> Just in case the FBI ever needs anything on me
<Elzie_Ann> I'm sure they can just get it from someone who DOES log chats.
*** FBI has joined #gamecubecafe
<FBI> We saw it anyway.
*** FBI has quit IRC (Quit: )

@Ultima: The Spartacus quote is one of my favourites