[Game thread] Smurf Mafia

[Jarrema]

I do not know why it is made that way.

I believe that red berries will go for voting after my death, so I will explain you what it does.

PLEASE BELIEVE ME AFTER MY DEATH

Red berries, when 3 are eated, causes smurf to shrink to very little size, and, by doing it, make him immune to any night actions. Remember: you have to eat 3 of them to get this effect. I can harvest two berries every night.

 

[Askthepizzaguy]

Eat three red berries of unknown origin... sounds tempting.

How bout dem yellow ones. What they do.

 

[Jarrema]

I did not made any. According to my role PM. you can use four of them to get damage reduction for two phases (all damage done to you is halved)

I thought red berries would be better for me, as tehy will allow me to hide at night, and it would be better during night than just half damage. And, as a good townie, I didnt want to take only half damage from lynch

 

[Zack]

I thought Pizzaman was a big, bad serial killer? Then why are you spilling all of your beans when he asks politely?

 

[JohannaK]

He's desperate.

 

[Dreadnought]

Unvote

That lead's more or less disappeared.

 

[azzaman333]

All the berries to me

I'll figure out the rest later.

 

[choxorn]

Boxing Glove to me
Vote: Jarrema

How many berries do you have right now?

 

[Verarde]

Boxing glove to choxorn, chocolate to Dreadnought, vote: Jarrema.

I like atpg's plan.

 

[Askthepizzaguy]

I note that we don't have much of a second place candidate going on today.

If you have any lead on who I should kill, speak now or forever hold your smurf.

Otherwise I will confer privately with a couple other folks I'm coordinating with and make it a surprise kill.

 

[JohannaK]

I WANT A PIECE O' CHOCKLATE Too!

 

[Askthepizzaguy]

Good god, are you coming onto me?!?

 

[JohannaK]

what? I'm just seeing that every chocklate vote goes to Dreadnought, and I WANT SOME CHOCKLATE TOO.

 

[Askthepizzaguy]

I'm sorry JoanK but I just don't go in for these backdoor shenanigans. Sure I'm flattered, maybe even a little curious. But the answer is no!

 

[JohannaK]

I did not want this, but you've forced my hand... *draws an assault rifle from nowhere* GIMME DA CHOCKLATE OR DIEEEEEEEEEEE!!!

 

[azzaman333]

Sure, why not.

Chocolate to JoanK

 

[azzaman333]

I'm thinking Jarrema is innocent personally, but I wouldn't bet my life on it.

I'm going to vote Ninjacow. He feels scummy to me for some unknown reason.

 

[NinjaCow64]

Don't you love those times when you're talking about smurfing and the other person thinks you are talking about something completely different?

 

[Askthepizzaguy]

I want to know where a smurf could possibly hide an assault rifle. They barely wear skin-tight pants that reveal that most smurfs are male, and there's a female smurf, but there's honestly no real difference between them.

Also, how do smurfs reproduce?

Is Papa Smurf really their father?

And if so, did he give birth to them?

Did he poop them out?

How does an all-male species survive anyway?!?

IS THIS WHY JOANK IS SO ATTRACTED TO ME!?!?!


.....



*reads up on how Smurfs reproduce*



That's disgusting.

 

[Askthepizzaguy]

Inquiring minds want to know, but I must warn you, it's pretty graphic.


How smurfs reproduce:

Spoiler :

When a male smurf reaches adulthood, he begins to grow a long appendage on top of his head. This one is shaped like a really fat worm, or... let's actually call it a snausage. This is why smurfs wear those oddly-shaped hats. Then, the male smurf crosses the Hanna-Barbera interdimensional threshold and travels to an entirely different land. There, he his approached by a female Snork. The Snork has a similar appendage on its head. This one is straw-shaped. The female Snork sticks her straw into the Smurf's snausage, and sucks the Smurf out of him. This graphic and disgusting process sounds exactly like what happens when you run out of soda and you keep slurping your straw. Then, the female Snork goes off, carries the young until they're ready to hatch, but then she instinctively swims up to the surface (As Smurfs breathe oxygen) and they are snatched up by a big hungry bird, called a Stork. The stork devours the momma Snork and poops out a baby Smurf. And the cycle of slurping, smurfing, snorking, snacking and storking continues.