Gloomiest/ darkest phrase/saying in your language?

[gay_Aleks]

Even a crab is a fish.

 

[red_elk]

We're being screwed, but getting stiffer.

 

[Daw]

Even a crab is a fish.

Russian analogue: "На безрыбье и рак рыба." (Crawfish is fish when there's no fish)

We're being screwed, but getting stiffer.

Whatever it is that doesn't kill us, makes us stronger.

 

[Kyriakos]

"Do not kick something having spikes" (general meaning; pre-classical greek saying, found also in attic drama)

Iirc ancient version would be "προς κέντρα μη λάκτιζε" etc

 

[Daw]

Tari ma ni gaan.

Your mum's bum.

Well, I'm sure it would be a pretty dark place.

A Russian anecdote on the subject:

CAUTION! do not read immediately before or soon after your meal!

Spoiler :

Two intestinal worms, son and dad, look out of the ass they are living in, the son asks, "Daddy, look how pleasant it is out there! Butterflies, flowers, green grass, fresh water, birds are singing, the Sun is shining... Why do we live in this narrow, smelly, dark, dungy, slippery, everclogged place?" The dad looks at him with sadness and pain in his eyes and says, "You know, my son, there's such a word, 'Homeland'..."

 

[warpus]

I googled it and google just translated "darkest sayings" into Polish. So here it is:

najciemniejsze powiedzenie

I had to fix the grammar and spelling because Google sucks at Polish.

 

[Daw]

I guess Google sucks at all Slavic languages (and possibly also other groups, too). The things it does to Russian can be qualified as criminal offence, honestly.

 

[Borachio]

"Up crap creek without a paddle."

(It really isn't "crap". But the well-known synonym beginning with "s".)

Also "Been sold down the river" is pretty dark, imo.

 

[Smellincoffee]

"It is always darkest before the dawn."

 

[gay_Aleks]

Evil never comes alone.

 

[Kyriakos]

Evil never comes alone.

Two similar greek ones (the first ancient, the second likely medieval)

"Old age doesn't come alone" (meaning it brings all sorts of issues)

"The first evil is followed by a myriad (more evils)"

 

[Mechanicalsalvation]

Whatever it is that doesn't kill us, makes us stronger.

Whatever doesnt kill you can still make you lame.

Whatever doesnt kill you can make you go nuts.

These two Czech sceptical derivations of the original has special charm to it becouse in Czech there is a fonetic simmilarity in it as well.

 

[Mechanicalsalvation]

Its never so bad that it couldnt get even worse. -- another example of Czech sceptic humor.

 

[Daw]

Evil never comes alone.

Two similar greek ones (the first ancient, the second likely medieval)

"Old age doesn't come alone" (meaning it brings all sorts of issues)

"The first evil is followed by a myriad (more evils)"

"Пришла беда, отворяй ворота," which means "Evil came, open your gate," implying that it's usually big enough not to fit into the wicket. And it rhymes better in Russian.

derivations

Well, it's just a saying that exists, which doesn't necessarily mean it is true.

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"Врагу [такого] не пожалаешь" - Referring to something that is so excessively bad that you even "Wouldn't wish [that] to your enemy."

 

[Kyriakos]

"A bad dog is immune to death" (or "a bad dog won't die", meaning that a bad person seems to not suffer from illness much, alluding to some pathological feeding off one's own malignant attitude).

 

[Synobun]

"Donald Trump has won the 2016 Presidential Elections."

I'd like to think this post aged very well.

 

[Gori the Grey]

Why don't we step into my office to talk about your test results, Mr. Grey.

 

[Farm Boy]

You win. I'm now scared.

 

[red_elk]

I tried to google "Gloomiest phrases" in Russian.
Google said:
Showing results for "the most hilarious phrases".

Unexpected wisdom of a search engine.

 

[Valka D'Ur]

The quickest response I ever saw to someone saying something related to darkness was at a science fiction convention. I'd gone to a panel discussion that I assumed would be related to dystopian fiction, some of the negative events in history, etc.

The moderator of the panel stood up at the beginning and asked, "So. Are these the Dark Ages?"

BOOM. The lights went out. We were sitting in complete darkness. Nobody was anywhere near the light switch, and nobody was using any more electrical equipment than usual (microphones for the panel members).

Turns out that the panel in the next room was doing some weird stuff with sound and lighting equipment, though, and managed to put both rooms into total darkness. In our case it happened at exactly the right moment to creep everyone out.