For me, I never tried to destroy myself through drinking. I don't drink alcohol and one of the reasons that I've never told anyone is that I feared that I would become addicted. Looking at how my life has turned out so far, especially after leaving school, I may not have done anything as noticably destructive, but I didn't have a life. I felt like a ghost, a shadow that just haunted or ruined other people's lives by just existing. I remember thinking more than once that if I was anyone in a movie, it was the camera, just watching as everyone else lived their lives while all I could do is watch.
I did have one addiction, playing lengthy open world games that allowed me to play as a female character. That started when I first played Oblivion back in 2006, but even before then I did play games with female characters. I didn't really play these games for the gameplay so much as it let me pretend to live in a world where I'm female. I justified it by saying that it's a fantasy world, if I can play as a elf, an orc or even a lizard then it's not so strange to play as a female character. In my current Fallout 4 playthough (which is close to 400 hours), I spent a lot of time not playing it as a game but doing things like collecting dresses, I don't mean like the kind of outfits expected in these kind of games but just ordinary dresses.
