Traitorfish
The Tighnahulish Kid
Yeah, fair dos, I'll try a serious answer. I outlined by thoughts on this in a recent thread:Thought you'd be interested in the subject matter, at least.
I think the key thing to understand about "whiteness" is that it's a category developed in the context of colonialism, so the classification of people into white and not-white can very broadly be seen to reflect their categorisation into people that it is and is not acceptable to colonise, which itself was often worked out from whether or not those places contained social and political structures that Europeans were prepared to recognise as legitimate. (This is the source of "the Irish weren't originally white": people didn't start with kooky theories about Irish racial inferiority, but with the fact that Ireland was an English colonial possession, that Irish society was not regarded as a genuine society but as a state of barbarous pre-society, and worked out the theories from there.)
This becomes particularly pronounced in settler colonies because it becomes a logic not simply of organisation but of exclusion. In order to make room for colonists, the racial "Others" are permitted to exist at the absolute bottom of society, or entirely outside of it. Their capacity to participate in society is refused. Non-settler colonies assume to at least some degree the ability of whites and non-whites to understand each other and to develop shared interests; settler colonies tend towards the opposite assumption, that white and non-whites are competing over limited space and resources. In the former, it is often necessary to imagine non-whites as people making stumbling little baby-steps towards "civilisation", that their integration into colonial institutions is expressive of a shared historical project; in the latter, it is assumed that "civilisation" is categorically beyond them, that their exclusion from colonial institutions is expressive of the impossibility of any such project.