How to annoy at school

[Zelig]

Then claim that the bells ring at the wrong moment. Never acknowledge that you watch might be wrong, even if it's five minutes after everybody else's.

Even better if you're watch is actually correct, and the bells are off. So if the bells are slow, when the periods should be over, immediately get up and leave.

 

[ybbor]

-I have been a Civ Fan since 1993 and always will be
-I was born in 1991

em·bel·lish (ĕm-bĕl'ĭsh)
tr.v., -lished, -lish·ing, -lish·es.
To add ornamental or fictitious details to: a fanciful account that embellishes the true story

 

[CivFan91]

Everything I have posted is accurate. HOWEVER, it would be extremely innacurate to say that I was any GOOD at playing Civ I: Do you really think I could possibly win when my mindset of the time was

"Cool! I get to be a King!" (Yeah, for about 15 turns)

I didn't have a clue what I was doing. And the "In the beginning..." music on my old Tandy scared me. I was pretty bad at it. I always had a 0% rating. I never built a military. I sucked at it.

Nowadays, I am far from that bad, though I'm still not a Diety yet.

 

[Maniacal]

I'm like a, Prince level. Unti li get bored then cheats are back on.

 

[CivFan91]

Anyways...

When a big project is due, feed blank paper to your dog, bring in the slopping wet scraps, and say, "my dog really did eat my homework."

Works well if you need an extension due to laziness.

 

[azzaman333]

Poke the person siting next to you with a pen. Funniest when they make weird noses.

 

[Kozmos]

^^^
In my book that equals to a swift punch to the face,I have zero tolerance on pencil poking.

 

[Ultima Dragoon]

^^^
In my book that equals to a swift punch to the face,I have zero tolerance on pencil poking.

I prefer to poke people with a pacer, with some of the graphite poking out.

It hurts more.

 

[azzaman333]

Walk into the wrong classroom intentionally, and say the yolu're someone else when the teacher is checking the roll.

 

[The 777 Hoax]

Oh my goodness, I nearly peed myself reading all these, lol.

When I was in 8th grade at Holy Trinity (Catholic School), We had a substitute teacher. It happened to be April Fools Day, lol. So we were forced to watch an incredibly boring movie about natural disasters or something like that. I hid behind the TV with the remote, and the sub didn't see me because of the way the TV was set up. I sat there and pressed rewind and stop and pause... it was hilarious! And when our regular teacher returned, the sub said something like, "I think we should get a new VCR. It was doing all sorts of weird things today!"

 

[L'Afrique]

You got it in a forward? It was proably originally from http://getannoyed.com/

 

[Swiss Bezerker]

I cant help it

Post a message asking how to post messages.
Lead a tireless crusade for the creation of newsgroups with silly names like alt.my.butt.is.hairy.
Put 4 addresses, 5 lines of "Geek Code", 6 ASCII-art bicycles, a PGP key, and your home phone in your signature.
Reinvigorate a discussion by switching attributions in followups.
Post recipes on rec.pets.cats.
Post a compendium of old articles from a thread that died months ago with a title such as "*** HAS JOE SMITH FORGOTTEN HIS LIES? ***"
Post a 56-part binary MPG file of your dog throwing up to news.answers. Announce that you screwed it up and repeat.
On the MST3K groups, ask what happened to Joel.
Ask readers of rec.music.misc to post their favorite Zeppelin tune "for a poll".
Reacquaint the readers of rec.humor with the "two-strings-go-in-a-bar" joke.
Determine a perversion so bizarre or obscure that it doesn't yet have its own sex group.
Post your new "War Heroes of India" FAQ to soc.culture.pakistan.
Start this week's new AOL virus rumor.
Format your posts for 90 columns (or 20).
Provide a valuable public service by notifying the eager readers of roughly 1,200 newsgroups of your new "HOOTERAMA" phone sex service or "PorqWhiffe"
pheramone cologne.
Post elaborate conspiracy theories to talk.politics.misc detailing how ATF agents under the control of Chelsea Clinton and Socks have implanted invisible
microchips in your genitals.
Fill that empty mailbox, make new friends, delight your postmaster, and selflessly lead others to riches with a few "MAKE MONEY FAST" posts.
Attempt to sell your sweaty underwear in alt.clothing.lingerie.
Follow up a 200-line post to add only your signature.
Crosspost Amiga articles to the Mac and PC newsgroups for a valuable interchange of provocative ideas.
Announce a mailing list for Bill Gates' VISA card number.
Inform the readers of alt.sex that your friend at a particular address is taking a penis length survey, and the first 1000 people to send him their measurements will
receive free naked pictures of Cindy Crawford.
Correct every spelling mistake you encounter, but misspell the word "imbecile" in your followup flames.
Flame yourself, and complain to your own postmaster.
Ask readers of the Star Trek groups when they last had dates.
Post personal ads on groups such as alt.sex.diapers listing your work phone number.
Post under the name Dave Rhodes.
Followup every post in a newsgroup ranking them on a scale from 1 to 10.
Establish your own little Usenet niche by writing a Wink Martindale FAQ.
Advise other readers to ftp to 127.0.0.1 for "really cool nudie pics".
Post daily word searches to rec.puzzles.
Post your trig homework to sci.math and ask the readers to e-mail you the answers, since you "don't read the group".
Provoke insightful and productive debates on fresh new topics such as abortion, gun control, the existence of God, penile circumcision, and the relative
superiority of Mac or PC operating systems.
Pick a cutesy handle that inspires vicarious embarrassment in other readers, such as "SoHot4U", "SokSnifer", or "WetNWild".
Maintain a high-level of constructive decorum by addressingsomeone with whom you disagree as "monkey boy".

 

[Swiss Bezerker]

BTW, how do you make smileslease tell me

 

[Strider]

Some I've actually done:

Have people bring alarm clocks to school, put them into their lockers, and set them all to go off at the same time.

Attempt to get the teacher into a redundent conversation.

Use Microsoft Sam on the computers to talk to other students in the class (espicially when the teacher has told you to stop talking).

 

[Thisnameislame]

-Start a petition to impeach your class president.
-If theres a club/program for minorities, flood it with white people. (it'd be racist not to let you join
-When you have a substitue, have a friend take picture of you looking like you're breaking stuff and show them to your regular teacher.
-Put up fake flyers/posters.
-Give your teachers totally useless gifts.
-If your teacher asks what you'd like to be called instead of your real name, say a name that is in no way realated to your real name.
-When a substitute is taking role have a guy say "here" for a girl with a name only for girls and have the girl say "here" for him.

 

[RameNoodle]

Once, in grade school, a friend and I tied another kid's shoe to his chair with the laces. He was there for 20 minutes, and he had to get out of his shoe to untie it.
Another thing to do is to make extremely subtle drug and innuendo references to either a crazy teacher or a hot one. Like ask her if you and a friend can go to the bathroom to have a sword fight. Well, maybe that's not so subtle.
Or you can make fun of how they talk. You just have to mutter everything they say in a mocking tone, and people around you will laugh, I guarantee it.
Works every time, and the teachers are never able to get at you for it.
Or another time, I deleted the program on the student server that eliminates all changes since the last boot of the computer, and that got them quite angry for a while. Yet again, not traced to me. Or, make yourself look ridiculous and go to the teacher and say, "This is a serious question. How do I look?" Force them to answer. Or pose the same question while looking perfectly normal, but omit the "How do I look" with a "Would you like a breathmint?" Or wear a sweatshirt and bring your iPod with you and put the headphones up the sleeve and listen to it during class. You'll never get caught. Or, my final thing, you speak some things in a different language to the teacher, or in an accent, such as an indian when talking about computers (subtle humor right there), or talk like a Brit when speaking about the British, or talk in a southern accent during a Civil Rights Movement discussion.
Some of these are actual experiences, and some of them are mere thoughts. However, all could lead to a very interesting class period.

 

[CivFan91]

Or wear a sweatshirt and bring your iPod with you and put the headphones up the sleeve and listen to it during class. You'll never get caught.

Hats/hoods aren't allowed in my school, so until they invent wireless headphones, I WILL get caught for that.

I got one:

*Set the background of all computers you touch to a porno pic. It appears for all logins, not just yours, so it can never be traced. (I don't think, anyway... but nobody will actually do this stuff anyway, so that's a moot point)

 

[RameNoodle]

One does not necessarily need a hood, rather, they can put it up a sleeve into their hand and lean against their hand, and therefore listen to the music. Never tried it however, because my school is private catholic, so what do you expect.

 

[WillJ]

- Throughout the campus, tie fishing line from tree to tree, making people trip and fall and never know what the hell is going on. (This was the senior class prank at my school one year.)

- Pressure the band director into letting you play one of these instruments:

air guitar
bongos
electric guitar
square (say it's like the triangle, except it's a square)
the spoons

- In music class, when asked to analyze a classical piece of music, analyze Chingy's "Sample Dat Ass."

- Any time the class involves keeping a journal where you have to use your own handwriting and you can't change what you write (it has to reflect your thought process, after all), take someone else's journal and write the f-word in huge letters on every page.

- Get everyone in a class of yours to bring a cowbell to school. Then, during class, have someone stand up and yell, "THIS CLASS NEEDS MORE COWBELL!" Then, everyone should take out their cowbells and start jamming.

- Whenever a teacher asks that you type something, object on the grounds that you're Amish.

 

[Maniacal]

I don't think the Amish one will work, unless your dressed in Amish clothing.

Cowbells aren't that common either nor is class participation.