If you could change a language ...

[Mango Elephant]

Post what you would do. Doesn't matter if it's English or not, but mine are for English.

The word "the" would be replaced with "ha" because it sounds better. Also, taking a page from the book of French, contractions occur with the new word "ha" if the next word has a vowel. The orange > h'orange, the mountain > ha mountain

Silent letters would be omitted and accent marks introduced to help with pronunciation.

Possessive apostrophe DESTROYED. They're ugly and terrible.

 

[Winner]

Abolish the insane system of tenses you have in English; make the use of articles consistent; do something to rationalize phrasal verbs and prepositions; and when I am at it, make the spelling of English relate to its pronunciation.

 

[Borachio]

Hey. It's all rational and sorted out. It's just that it's... complicated.

In other ways it's all extremely simple.

 

[Farm Boy]

I would axe "utilize" out of the language.

 

[Lillefix]

Possessive apostrophe DESTROYED. They're ugly and terrible.

And it's contagious. It's spreading to other languages as well. We need no direct a meteorite towards all the worlds possessive apostrophes.

 

[cardgame]

Abolish the insane system of tenses you have in English; make the use of articles consistent; do something to rationalize phrasal verbs and prepositions; and when while I am at it, make the spelling of English relate to its pronunciation.

ftfy

 

[Leoreth]

And it's contagious. It's spreading to other languages as well. We need no direct a meteorite towards all the worlds possessive apostrophes.

Oh my, this. And all the greengrocers apostrophe's just make it worse.

 

[Mango Elephant]

Abolish the insane system of tenses you have in English;

Agreed. I've never noticed it until I tried to learn another language and realized learning English would be such a chore.

make the use of articles consistent;

Elaborate.

 

[Borachio]

I would make using the double preposition "off of" a criminal offence.

 

[hobbsyoyo]

I would make using the double preposition "off of" a criminal offence.

I knew you were a grammar nazi!!!

 

[Farm Boy]

Oh my, this. And all the greengrocers apostrophe's just make it worse.

Wouldn't that be "greengrocer's apostrophes" or am I missing something?

Anywho - I would not mind giving those possessives up if everyone would concede and change back to our nonsensical systems of measurements so that I don't have to switch back and forth between tool sets when trying to get anything done.

 

[Leoreth]

Wouldn't that be "greengrocer's apostrophes" or am I missing something?

I intentionally included two greengrocer's apostrophes to demonstrate their awfulness

 

[Mango Elephant]

Wouldn't that be "greengrocer's apostrophes" or am I missing something?

You're both wrong. It would be "greengrocers' apostrophes," unless just a single greengrocer is being a nuisance.

 

[Lillefix]

Agreed. I've never noticed it until I tried to learn another language and realized learning English would be such a chore.

It's about the same amount of tenses(correct me if I'm wrong) as other Germanic languages plus the continuous aspect, which we don't have("I am/was running" and so on). The Spanish and Italian have this tense. But not the French. Ever since I discovered it didn't exist in French I've wondered where it came from. However Icelandic seems to have it as well(just saw it on wikipedia), so it may be an old form all germanic languages had and have since died out.

edit: look at that. It's also in Dutch. Seems like you're not so special after all.

 

[warpus]

I would change the following (in English):

- "an historic" - no.. no.. NO.. It's "A historic", you twit, unless the h is silent, which it almost never is.

- I would change the meaning of "literally" back to what it used to mean - something literal.. not the exact opposite - something figurative. It just doesn't make sense.

- I would change the spelling of "marshmallow" to "marshmellow"

- The word "bureaucracy". It's stupid. I don't like it.

- "The alarm went off" - would change to - "The alarm went on", simply because it confuses far too many immigrants.

 

[Smellincoffee]

I'd remove gender from all European languages. How did that even start?

 

[bugwar]

English is the perfect language.
At least from the ability to use other languages to its benefit.

So I guess it is the 'Borg' of languages.
It will add other tongue's cultural distinctiveness to service its own growth.

 

[warpus]

English is the perfect language.
At least from the ability to use other languages to its benefit.

So I guess it is the 'Borg' of languages.
It will add other tongue's cultural distinctiveness to service its own growth.

You should see how many silly words now exist in Polish that have been borged from English.

Our word for manager used to be this - "kierownik"

Now? The word has turned into "menedżer" - something that sounds exactly like the English "manager"

Mental retardation all around..

 

[Cheezy the Wiz]

and when I am at it, make the spelling of English relate to its pronunciation.

Absolutely a reform I would get behind. And standardize it across the English speaking world, so we don't get abominations like gaol=jail.

 

[say1988]

- "an historic" - no.. no.. NO.. It's "A historic", you twit, unless the h is silent, which it almost never is.

I use "an 'istoric" not "a historic". Really whether a leading "h" is pronounced varies quite a bit between words, locations, and people.

You're both wrong. It would be "greengrocers' apostrophes," unless just a single greengrocer is being a nuisance.

See the possessive apostrophe is useful. How would you know whether "greengrocers apostrophes" referred to a single greengrocer or multiple greengrocers?