Guess wife is going through her own transitioning to lesbian
[RD] I'm transitioning. If you've ever been confused about the T in LGBT, ask me anything
- Thread starter emzie
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EgonSpengler
Deity
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I wonder how much confusion still exists over the distinctions between transgender men, homosexual men, and drag queens. To use celebrities as examples, I think Big Freedia identifies as a woman but hasn't had any surgery, while RuPaul is a gay man and a drag queen but I don't think s/he identifies as a woman. As you "come out" to people, do you find yourself having to explain the differences, tell people which pronouns to use, that kind of thing? Or do people pretty much roll with it now?
Has there been anything that's surprised you about the transition? I remember a comedian who had transitioned from woman to man, I forget his name now, talking about the effect of the hormones; while he was a woman, he didn't understand the influence of testosterone on the male psyche, but he joked that he was suddenly physically compelled to check out cute women as they walk past on the street.
He also talked about some of his own behavior that he had to check, things that were 'kind of hot' when he was a butch lesbian (his words), but are creepy or even threatening now that he's a guy. I also have heard that some men who become women work with a voice coach in addition to taking the hormones, because the voice change didn't come as naturally as they thought it would.
Thanks for offering to share your experience and insights.
Has there been anything that's surprised you about the transition? I remember a comedian who had transitioned from woman to man, I forget his name now, talking about the effect of the hormones; while he was a woman, he didn't understand the influence of testosterone on the male psyche, but he joked that he was suddenly physically compelled to check out cute women as they walk past on the street.
He also talked about some of his own behavior that he had to check, things that were 'kind of hot' when he was a butch lesbian (his words), but are creepy or even threatening now that he's a guy. I also have heard that some men who become women work with a voice coach in addition to taking the hormones, because the voice change didn't come as naturally as they thought it would.Thanks for offering to share your experience and insights.
Guess wife is going through her own transitioning to lesbian
If Contre's wife identified as heterosexual beforehand, she probably still does, with the caveat that she is now married to (and presumably in love with) a woman.
Which is kinda unnatural for hetero-female...
Omega124
Challenging Fate
I'm legally diagnosed as having aspbergers. I was with the special needs kids in grade school and part of OSD here at Brockport. That's actually why my parents are such dicks about me when I came out, they just think it's me being autistic, and not something I'm actually going through.
I like to say that I'm just who I always was deep down. I just get to express the feminine side of me now. I will say me from 2014 is different from me now, but I think a lot of it has to do with maturing and having my world psyche change after I was basicilly rejected from my family, and not nessecairly because "is female now".
That being said, a very close friend did confide to me that she thought I was the girliest girl she knew in terms of personality, which make that what you will (I was personally touched)
That's because testosterone makes the vocal chords deeper, but estrogen does /not/ make the voice go higher. If you had a sister or a childhood female friend, i think you'd realize her voice stayed realitvely the same, it didn't really get any higher or lower. Since most trans women start after some form of puberty, voice is a big issue in trying to pass because of this reason.
I have read via reddit that it's becoming increasingly common to just get surgery done to shorten your vocal chords (hence getting a higher pitched voice). The procedure is getting both better and cheaper, and it's a one time cost rather than continually going to see a speech therapist. I'm nowhere near that stage of even thinking about that, though >_>
Omega124
Challenging Fate
I know this isn't directed at me but I'm going to awnser anyways since I get asked this all the time.
The process of actually getting diagnosed with gender identity disorder is so rigorous for pretty much exactly this reason. They really want people knowing full well what they're getting into before they go on HRT, and from there even more rigorous on the requirements before SRS. That being said, only about one percent of people who transisitioned end up detransistoning.
Meanwhile, waiting longer will prolly lend me to killing myself. I really hate to be so melodramatic but... I really don't want to get into it with complete strangers, but I've done things I'm not proud of.
Basicilly there's a /very small chance/ I might potentially regret it, compared to a/very real chance/ I'll put a plastic bag over my head and end it because being trans /is not fun/ (see my description of dysphoria)
Lots of things are kind of unnatural, but that's not really the issue, is it? Love can break down almost any barrier, as far as I'm concerned.
Well, if you're not bothered, there's no need, but it might be something to look into if you're feeling so inclined. I asked because you mentioned it and because I've formally 'had' Asperger's for 20 years now and I was wondering if it that was something else we had in common, besides sharing the same birthday.
In my case, I'm not sure whether my lack of adult activity is due to Asperger's or simply something else and my parents don't seem too bothered about it, so I just don't talk about that sort of them with them.
sophie
Break My Heart
Sexual orientation is not a binary - it's not even necessarily a trinary.
Omega124
Challenging Fate
Case in point: I identify as gynosexual, yet I have a bf. The same bf for over a year at this rate.
Leifmk
Deity
Arguing based on what is or is not "natural" seems kind of futile in the Anthropocene, anyway.
Hygro
soundcloud.com/hygro/
In the future, we'll have an even easier time facilitating the physical sex transition. But at some point, we'll also concurrently have the tech to facilitate a gender rewiring. Do you think the latter option will gain popularity, particularly if a person's personality and identity outside their gender remains the same?
Not till the humans are in full control of their life processes. That includes breathing or sleeping as well as procreation and sexuality.
I think while emotional satisfaction is core to human well being "rewiring" of human personality could be core to its very survival...
Omega124
Challenging Fate
No, I don't. As much as I hate being trans, every night I don't wish I was just a normal man, I wish that I was born female to begin with. Identifying as female such an integral part of my psyche that the thought of changing that is fundamentally changing who I am as a person.
Obviously I can't speak for every trans person in the world, but the trans friends I have all have the same opinion. Our minds are correct, it's our bodies that are wrong.
Amazing. This would point out to the fact that some inner psychological formation of man is distinct from ones physical formation and is in fact determinative of mans existence.
Senethro
Overlord
Its a fair bet that theres some brain structural thing or equivalent mechanism formed very early in development, through there isn't great scientific support for it yet. Not that I think thats necessary, I think asking trans people and trusting their opinions gives support enough.
While we dont have the needed scientific research it makes sense that comforting anyone with physical change is probably best thing to do. But to say that brain is in opposition to the rest of the body in some way seems to me as something very peculiar. If thats the case however adjustment in a brain would seem like eventually easier way to go except thats not what the trans people want.
Of course not. The brain is the seat of your very identity and no one wants that being messed with, even if it might appear to some to be at fault.
It's the same reason I think I'd decline a 'cure' for Asperger's - I might be a better person after the procedure, but I almost certainly wouldn't be the same person.
LucyDuke
staring at the clock
<3
You say your anxiety has decreased. Have other mental health issues been explained and improved by the dysphoria diagnosis and treatment? Have any been unaffected?
I'm also very very curious about your wife's answer. My number one question isn't even a question for you.
How important is it to you personally to be a conventionally attractive woman? What extra effort, besides the medical stuff, do you put into your appearance?
Are you sick of bra shopping yet?
How could personality and identity remain the same? 'Cause I might not mind a stronger feeling of gender but I can't imagine that not being part of personality and identity.
You say your anxiety has decreased. Have other mental health issues been explained and improved by the dysphoria diagnosis and treatment? Have any been unaffected?
I'm also very very curious about your wife's answer. My number one question isn't even a question for you.
How important is it to you personally to be a conventionally attractive woman? What extra effort, besides the medical stuff, do you put into your appearance?
Are you sick of bra shopping yet?
How could personality and identity remain the same? 'Cause I might not mind a stronger feeling of gender but I can't imagine that not being part of personality and identity.
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