[RD] I'm transitioning. If you've ever been confused about the T in LGBT, ask me anything

[Zelig]

How could personality and identity remain the same? 'Cause I might not mind a stronger feeling of gender but I can't imagine that not being part of personality and identity.

I'd be find with a genderless robot body. At least, I hope.

 

[Ajidica]

So how did your friends/coworkers learn? Did you just show up to work one day wearing different clothes? Unless your workplace is radically different from mine, I don't see sexual orientation as a particularly common topic to come up in the breakroom. How does a transgender person "come out"?

Are you going to change your name (legally or just what you prefer people to call you)? If yes, how will you choose a new name?

I'm not quite sure how to phrase this, but does your physical body need to match what you consider yourself? If you consider yourself a woman, why do you need your physical body to reflect that? If gender identity is a state of mind, what purpose do the physical bits serve? It seems to me that it impacts how people interact with you, but considering in the overwhelming majority of interactions people have your sex/gender makes little difference, I'm not really seeing the importance.

 

[Arakhor]

I'd be find with a genderless robot body. At least, I hope.

Provided that such a body obviated most needs of the flesh and the process didn't affect my own identity, I think I could live with that too. It would need to have proper proximity sensors to simulate the sense of touch at the absolute minimum.

 

[emzie]

Best wishes on successful procedures, supportive family and friends, and the best life possible. Should family building be in your futures, near or far, best of luck in that as well be it biological or not. The latter takes some time to wrap the head around, but love is worth it.

ty for the kind words ^.^

Whoa, way to go, you seem to be dealing with this very well, I think I would have some sort of a breakdown if I realized that I was born the wrong gender and had to change, no idea how I would deal with all of that, I don't know if I'd have the inner strength to really do anything about it or tell anyone, daamn, you surprised me today and have my full support.

What not-so-obvious things are going to change in your life after you've made the full transition from male to female? I don't know much about hormone replacement therapy, is it possible that it will lead you to seek out some new hobbies? New likes/dislikes? New ways of looking at the world? What changes to the way you lead your life that aren't so obvious to someone like me do you forsee? And what about your friends, do you think you will stay in the same circle of friends and hang out with the same people?

Are you you? Or new you?

As in, men and women have, in general, somewhat different ways of dealing with problems, communicating or which interests they have. While going through this whole hormone therapy and SRS process, have you noticed/do you expect to notice any psychological/mental differences? (Except for feeling better about being in your new body ofc.) Or was that part of you always you, and just your body wasn't you in the same way, so that nothing has changed except for your physical appearance?

Answering these together.

For context, since starting HRT, I've grown breasts (which are still developing ). Body hair patterns have switched to cis-female averages. Fat's been redistributed towards my hips. My skin's gotten dry. I smell different. All that is an afterthought to the emotional and psychological changes.

It's hard to get across the extent of psychological problems trans individuals often have. Try and imagine, for a minute, that you have been anxious for so long that you have forgotten there was another way to feel. Imagine the sense of impending doom following you, non-stop for a decade. You know something's wrong, but you don't know what. And because you don't know what's wrong, you're grasping at everything around you to hold onto and try and find some anchor but most of the things you try actually make everything worse. Your self confidence goes to hell and you accept that something's fundamentally wrong with you. You cease believing things can get better. You think what ever's wrong with you will keep you from being able to finish anything you start. So you float.

And then after a decade of floating, someone switches the feeling of "wrongness" off. Once my levels of testosterone crashed to female-normals I realized I thought there was absolutely nothing wrong with me that wasn't within my capabilities to deal with. I gained an appreciation for what I'd endured and evaluating it, I found I was proud of myself for the first time in my life.

I'm glad that my tax $ is supporting such initiatives and are helping people who have to go through something like this. contre, how much of this is paid for? Did you have to pay for any of it yourself?

That varies a lot. I've spent about $2,500 myself thus far. I expect I will end up paying another $7,500 out of pocket.

OHIP covers SRS for those who meet the criteria (recommendations from multiple professionals). That's around $20,000 CAD for male to female and it should be thought of as a quality of life procedure, like joint replacements. I know of a few individuals who chose to skip OHIP and pay out of pocket, since the wait list for evaluation is 2 years and then the waitlist for a procedure is 1-2 years. Ontario did not anticipate the scope of this program. The system for OHIP-funded SRS is changing, though and it should bring the wait time down a lot.

There's a built-in wait time to consider as well. A patient needs to have been on HRT for at least a year, ideally more, before undergoing SRS.

Anyway, for me, SRS is $0 out of pocket unless I wanna jump the line and pay ~C$20,000. But that'd be crazy.

Other costs of note...

For those without prescription drug insurance, the cost is around a hundred dollars a month. Ontario does cover most medications used for HRT through drug benefits programs like ODSP and Ontario Works. So people who make below a certain income threshold will get their medications for free if they take advantage of the program.

Ontario will only reimburse you for hair removal that is required for SRS. So like, you can get a bit of money back if you have to have procedures to prepare your nether bits for surgery. HRT changes body hair but it does not change facial hair. If someone wishes to stop risking a 5 o'clock shadow, she has to have her facial hair removed. For darker hair types, this can often be done through laser hair removal. I got mine done for 50% off and it cost ~C$600. For lighter hair types or for hair that didn't care about the laser treatment, the only option is electrolysis. Electrolysis is slow and expensive and having a beard removed that way can easily run into the thousands.

To qualify for HRT or SRS, you must be working with a therapist of some sort. The type of therapist you work with matters. One with little experience will not be able to give as strong of recommendations as someone who specialized in gender identity disorders. I went with an expert who has been practicing in the field for nearly 30 years, long enough ago that she remembers being shunned at psychology gatherings for working with weirdos. If I state that I want to do SRS and she writes a letter that says I would benefit from SRS, then I will get SRS. That costs me C$150 an hour and that's where most of that earlier figure of $2,500 comes from because my insurance wouldn't cover her.

($150 / session) x minimum of 12 sessions = C$1,800 which wouldn't be affordable for a lot of people. Ontario does subsidize some therapists who charge a sliding scale based on client income and there's also community organizations that provide these services. Local LGBT organizations often hire a qualified social worker to service poorer members of the community.

Ontario does not pay for things considered elective. That includes breast augmentation (5-10k), facial feminization (anywhere from C$10k to C$40k depending on how much you want done), tracheal shave(~C$3-5k).

Vocal therapy can be expensive if you need the help. I've spent a few hundred dollars with a speech therapist. Retraining how you talk is probably the hardest part, mentally.

 

[Cheetah]

She. I'm a she. Please use correct pronouns.

Oops. Sorry about that. It's getting late here and I think it was just my default behaviour to address people on CFC as males. Which is a separate mistake, I suppose, and doesn't really make it any better...

I mean, just because someone is trans doesn't nessecairly make them lesbians either. Gender identity and sexual orientation are unrelated to each other.

I can be trans and like men, or I can be trans and like women. So just because I may identify as gynosexual (sexually attracted to women), not all trans women are.

Just want to clear that up.

When you use the term 'trans' by itself, you're not specifying the sex anyway. I'd think it would be conventionally assumed that trans women like men, and trans men like women?

 

[Omega124]

So how did your friends/coworkers learn? Did you just show up to work one day wearing different clothes? Unless your workplace is radically different from mine, I don't see sexual orientation as a particularly common topic to come up in the breakroom. How does a transgender person "come out"?

You just... Tell them? That's what I did. When I felt comfortable telling them, and I was in a secluded area, I'd say "oh hey I'm trans" basicilly. Except for my first, which I couldn't spit it out because I was so nervous and I had to make her guess it

It's really not that different from coming out as being gay. I mean, you could just unexpectedly start presenting as your preferred gender, but i wasn't a fan of that method.

Are you going to change your name (legally or just what you prefer people to call you)? If yes, how will you choose a new name?

Yeppers. My new name is Megan. I will get it legally changed when I'm presenting female full time, but my close friends already call me such. :3

My name actually comes from CFC! My user name, as you can see, is Omega. IOT would always call me Megs as a nickname, even when I wasn't out. From there, I decided on Megan.

I wanted a common first name so I wouldn't stick out. Also my male name started with an M too. Hence Megan just works really well.

If I had to pick a different name, I'd prolly go with Lucina (the name of the girl in my avatar). I really really love Lucina, and I could write a whole essay on the trans symbolism Lucina has. I might make her my middle name, idk.

I'm not quite sure how to phrase this, but does your physical body need to match what you consider yourself? If you consider yourself a woman, why do you need your physical body to reflect that? If gender identity is a state of mind, what purpose do the physical bits serve? It seems to me that it impacts how people interact with you, but considering in the overwhelming majority of interactions people have your sex/gender makes little difference, I'm not really seeing the importance.

Because dysphoria, as I described before, is really really nasty. So nasty that I tried things I'm not comfortable sharing here. Let's just say I'd be much happier and less likely to do things I regret if it feels like my mind isn't rejecting my body.

 

[Arakhor]

When you use the term 'trans' by itself, you're not specifying the sex anyway. I'd think it would be conventionally assumed that trans women like men, and trans men like women?

Well, given that most people are heterosexual, I think it would be expected to be the reverse.

 

[Cheetah]

Well, given that most people are heterosexual, I think it would be expected to be the reverse.

Err... um.. Yeah, I suppose? Is there any correlation between transexualism and homosexuality? Now that you put it that obviously, I realised I really have no idea, and I could probably argue both sides from a "nature" point of view...

For context, since starting HRT, I've grown breasts (which are still developing ). Body hair patterns have switched to cis-female averages. Fat's been redistributed towards my hips. My skin's gotten dry. I smell different. All that is an afterthought to the emotional and psychological changes.

[...], I found I was proud of myself for the first time in my life.

It's great to heard that you're doing so much better than before.

But what's with the dry skin remark? Is dry skin a girl thing?

Also - and I don't want to be pushy, sorry if that's the case - but you didn't say anything about your psychological changes except for how you've gotten better. For some other examples: Have you noticed if you like chocolate more than before? Or if meat is less tasty? (Got those from the old thread Hygro found. I have no idea if they're based on any reality... )

 

[Arakhor]

Err... um.. Yeah, I suppose? Is there any correlation between transexualism and homosexuality? Now that you put it that obviously, I realised I really have no idea, and I could probably argue both sides from a "nature" point of view...

Well, I have no idea and as I'm a neuro-atypical cis-male who's functionally asexual, I think it would be rather foolish of me to speculate.

 

[emzie]

Have you encountered any prejudice from the lesbian community?

No, but I'm also not trying to date within it. I know other transwomen are lesbians and they do encounter prejudice.

I was always curious on how men and women are treated differently which is kind of hard to pin down.

Let's say you meet a man/woman and maybe you become friends. Do you feel treated differently now compared to when you were male?

heh

Yes. Many men are not interested in friendship itself. I've been accused of "friendzoning" guys... guys who knew I was married to a woman. There's a lot of delusional people out there who create a version of you in their mind and then when you don't live up to their expectations, you're to blame. While I experienced similar things when I was male, it was never to this rate. I often get seen as a thing instead of a person.

To what extent you identify your problems as emotional/ mental/ physical or psychic?

Its really an interesting issue. Everything seems to have some positive side and I am guessing although you are going through some extreme experiences eventually lessons and new insights can be drown for the use of all people out of this.

Most of that is answered here. I'd there's a lot of feedback loops where physical things cause emotional distress and prolonged stress drags down your mental health.

It would be interesting to hear the complicated answer I think.

She loves me, the person, and she found was capable of being attracted to women. There's a degree of bisexuality, but our personal relationship as humans was the most important part. I think of her as flexible.

Or,

If Contre's wife identified as heterosexual beforehand, she probably still does, with the caveat that she is now married to (and presumably in love with) a woman.

That's spot on, with the caveat primarily heterosexual.

I wonder how much confusion still exists over the distinctions between transgender men, homosexual men, and drag queens. To use celebrities as examples, I think Big Freedia identifies as a woman but hasn't had any surgery, while RuPaul is a gay man and a drag queen but I don't think s/he identifies as a woman. As you "come out" to people, do you find yourself having to explain the differences, tell people which pronouns to use, that kind of thing? Or do people pretty much roll with it now?

Honestly, I'm actively involved with LGBT organizations and I'm still confused over a lot of LGBT issues.

Has there been anything that's surprised you about the transition? I remember a comedian who had transitioned from woman to man, I forget his name now, talking about the effect of the hormones; while he was a woman, he didn't understand the influence of testosterone on the male psyche, but he joked that he was suddenly physically compelled to check out cute women as they walk past on the street. He also talked about some of his own behavior that he had to check, things that were 'kind of hot' when he was a butch lesbian (his words), but are creepy or even threatening now that he's a guy. I also have heard that some men who become women work with a voice coach in addition to taking the hormones, because the voice change didn't come as naturally as they thought it would.

Thanks for offering to share your experience and insights.

I've seen that bit! I also know some transmen from peer groups and they report the same thing. The biggest surprise for me was the sense of tranquility.

contre,
Just out of curiosity, what if you end up regretting the surgery? Ive been told its happened before. Would it be disappointing to wait longer?

That's not something I think about. I look at my options and try and make the best decision with the best information I have.

If I regret the results, what I actually regret is not doing my job before making the choice.

The unknown is frightening, sure, but it's scary because it could be anything. I know what scary things are in my past. They're monsters and I can't return to living like that; it'd kill me. I don't really have a choice but to go forward and hope I don't regret it.

Omega124 summed it up well in the following post:

Basicilly there's a /very small chance/ I might potentially regret it, compared to a/very real chance/ I'll put a plastic bag over my head and end it

 

[emzie]

In the future, we'll have an even easier time facilitating the physical sex transition. But at some point, we'll also concurrently have the tech to facilitate a gender rewiring. Do you think the latter option will gain popularity, particularly if a person's personality and identity outside their gender remains the same?

I'd need to know a lot more about what the treatment did. For instance, giving such a treatment to an adolescent who has only recently developed feelings of gender dysphoria is not the same thing as treating a 30 year old who has dealt those feelings for 15 years. Those 15 years changed the person.

Personally, if I could have had such a treatment when I was 15, I'd've considered it, assuming it was safe and well understood. Now? Too much of who I am as a person is rooted in my experiences. At this point in my life, I share Omega's take...

No, I don't. As much as I hate being trans, every night I don't wish I was just a normal man, I wish that I was born female to begin with. Identifying as female such an integral part of my psyche that the thought of changing that is fundamentally changing who I am as a person.

<3

<3

You say your anxiety has decreased. Have other mental health issues been explained and improved by the dysphoria diagnosis and treatment? Have any been unaffected?

Well, I first got put on a psychward when I was 16. I was messed up but I didn't have the knowledge to explain explicitly what was going on and the staff, at a small psychiatric facility in rural Ohio, did not have the experience to recognize what was going on. For a few years I was treated as if I might be schizophrenic. Then I was treated for bipolar. Both were incorrect, as I now realize.

I'm also very very curious about your wife's answer. My number one question isn't even a question for you.

Answer to what! I can ask her something if you like

How important is it to you personally to be a conventionally attractive woman? What extra effort, besides the medical stuff, do you put into your appearance?

Being attractive is nice but it's not important. Passing is important. If I pass and everyone thinks I'm an ugly chick, that's what matters. To that end, I shape my eyebrows, I wear makeup. I take care in matching accessories. I wear a lot of scarfs as I haven't had the adam's apple shave yet.

Are you sick of bra shopping yet?

:X:X:X

nope

Best of luck, contre.

I don't have anything to add, as I know nothing of what you're going through, but you're a good person and I wish you all the best.

Why thank you! ^.^

Well I think there are some people that just look male or female even if they weren't born that way. I mean like a man who has very little facial hair, soft features and is not tall and doesn't have broad shoulders. It would be easier for him to transition but for some men they're just never going to look like a woman no matter what they do.

From the photo I wouldn't know you weren't born a woman and you even look like you have breasts.

Well, I do have breasts. They grew on HRT. It's like a puberty do over.

You did reserve the second post for a FAQ, you know... I thought you were expecting a really huge thread.

I qualified that with "if required" damn it.

And this whole discussion around changing the brain/mind is really interesting. That's why I asked my first question: Changing the body is one thing, but changing the brain is really changing the self. I end up deep down in a philosophical rabbit hole when I consider the implications there, so I usually stay clear of the topic.

But it seemed Omega felt she had always been who he was becoming. I wonder if contre feels the same?

Oh that's a rabbit hole. I'm still a materialist and an atheist so don't take this literally. It's like my soul was female and once she figured out who she was and where she was trapped, she spent a decade trying to break out of my unconsciousness. So it's not becoming female; it's accepting that you are and always were female.

If my mind and my body were in a "conflict", I think I would choose the least damaging way to resolve it. In your example it's quite obvious what to do, but if my mind demanded me, say, to chop off my arms and legs, I would seriously think about changing my personality instead. That's of course, the opposite extreme example.

To be clear, that's the basis of the standard protocol. There's no illusions: it's a risky thing to attempt. It can be physically harmful (I'm at higher risk for blood clots, I have to have my kidneys and liver tested every 3 months, I lose bone density, ect...) and it can be psychologically devastating if the person was not ready. So for a doctor to do these things to you, or for a doctor cut up your genitals and do some origami, means that not acting must have been worse for the patient.

 

[FriendlyFire]

Are you a Trump supporter ?

Dont worry you can get a lot of cosmetic surgery, (see Thailand)
Though you will have to deal with stigma, there was a hot model who was later found out to be Transgender and well she lost her rich boyfriend and modelling career as a result.

Kinda weird to ask this but, did you have lots of sexy time as a male, you know just because your going to be female soon. <_<. And I think that its going to be really bizarre later on afterwards
I guess in the future when VR becomes more advanced this kind of weird experimentation would become I'd imagine common.

 

[emzie]

So how did your friends/coworkers learn? Did you just show up to work one day wearing different clothes? Unless your workplace is radically different from mine, I don't see sexual orientation as a particularly common topic to come up in the breakroom. How does a transgender person "come out"?

When I'd decided to transition, I was working for my father-in-law. I left the job before I started making any obvious changes. So that wasn't really an issue. When I enrolled back into school a few months later, I did it very androgynous and slowly transitioned my style to more feminine.

How does coming out work? Hmmm. You don't do it all at once. I blurted it out to my wife while driving. My close friends all learned from me telling them 1-on-1. Same with my mother, my brother, and an aunt; I waited until I was visiting them in the US to tell them in person. My wife told my in-laws, since their primary concern was going to be her well being, we wanted to make sure that they were free to ask whatever without fear of offending me.

Some wider circles of people found out when a piece of crap deduced what was going on and outed me in revenge for something incredibly stupid. That sucked.

And now, it's just the world to tell. Sure, I came out publicly online, but this isn't strongly linked to my identity. My last step is writing letters and telling people they're free to talk among themselves about it or tell whomever they want.

It's great to heard that you're doing so much better than before.

But what's with the dry skin remark? Is dry skin a girl thing?

Also - and I don't want to be pushy, sorry if that's the case - but you didn't say anything about your psychological changes except for how you've gotten better. For some other examples: Have you noticed if you like chocolate more than before? Or if meat is less tasty? (Got those from the old thread Hygro found. I have no idea if they're based on any reality... )

Testosterone influences how oily your skin is. Lower levels of testosterone correspond with decreased oil production.

Other psychological things... I'm emotional in a way I wasn't before. I don't have to put in a lot of effort to empathize with a person or situation. I'm more assertive. To quote my BFF, "I do what I want" whereas for most of my life it was, "I do... what I think will make me inconspicuous"

On the other hand, it's like being in puberty again. I have to relearn how to control my emotions. I have to learn what is and is not appropriate behaviour. Biochemically, I'm an adolescent girl and sometimes I'm not ready for how strong an emotion will be. I'll express unjustified anger or unjustified disappointment because I don't know how balance an emotion against rational thought. Unfortunately, the people most likely to see that slip are the people most important to me. Thankfully, they've all been incredibly understanding.

I fell in love with dark chocolate. My ability to appreciate flavour absolutely changed. I eat a LOT better as a result.

Are you a Drumpf supporter ?

Dont worry you can get a lot of cosmetic surgery, (see Thailand)
Though you will have to deal with stigma, there was a hot model who was later found out to be Transgender and well she lost her rich boyfriend and modelling career as a result.

Kinda weird to ask this but, did you have lots of sexy time as a male, you know just because your going to be female soon. <_<. And I think that its going to be really bizarre later on afterwards
I guess in the future when VR becomes more advanced this kind of weird experimentation would become I'd imagine common.

omg Drumpf terrifies me. My mom asked me why I was scared of him and I told her, "If he won, I don't think Canada's far enough away." I've experienced enough harassment from strangers to be well aware of how much of a minority I am. And I know history well enough to be nervous about what it'd mean to be a small minority with an authoritarian in charge.

Only cosmetic surgery that I think worth my time is the tracheal shave. It'd be more expensive to do that in Thailand.

Stigma can bite my ass. As long as someone isn't going to attempt and physically harm me, people can think whatever they want. That's not my concern. Think, not do. I have the legal protections I need if someone discriminates.

As to sex, imagine your relationship with your genitals is one of disgust, mistrust and shame. Would you want to mix those feelings with intimacy? I didn't.

 

[FriendlyFire]

I can just imagine Trump supporters attacking any of the minorities and the Police just stand by and do nothing except arrest the victim. Thats probably the worse of Trump supporters on display, with the silent consent of Law enforcement.
Like Under G.W.Bush when dissenters were attacked as unpatriotic and put on terrorist watch list, discriminated against. Of course Bush Lies would unravel and he became the emperor with no clothes, The Republicans would feel betrayed and have moved to the right again.

I dont think you have to worry to much if you live in a blue state.

I've probably been exposed to Japanese Hentai and it weird perversions way too much. Japan a culture that is both sexually oppressed and liberated at the same time.
Guess the reality is not really that pleasant.

Good luck with your life !

 

[Omega124]

I dont think you have to worry to much if you live in a blue state.

Hi. Live in New York. Still socially rejected from family. Still worry I'd be taking a receiving end of a pogrom at a trump rally gone wrong. Truth is there's still a lot of people like my parents alive, an older, more socially conservative generation.

 

[Samez]

I once had coworker who was in the middle of his male -> female transition in the time I worked for the company. He was above 6.5"/2m height and had the figure of a bear (probably something like 130kg weight) while his voice was already high due to the hormone therapy. Our boss made him work exclusively the pay desk where customers gave him/her a really hard time.
Within the company (well except our boss) the lgbt acceptance was not a big issue as we also had at least one lesbian and a part time drag queen, but racism against the eastern european coworkers was strong.

I get the feeling that there are way more male->female transitions than the other way round. (e.g. Wachowski brothers to sisters) Do you think this to be true or is it just a matter of perception?

 

[Commodore]

I get the feeling that there are way more male->female transitions than the other way round. (e.g. Wachowski brothers to sisters) Do you think this to be true or is it just a matter of perception?

Obviously I am no expert on the matter, nor do I have any data to confirm this, but it would make sense if there were more male to female transitions since we all start out as female at conception.

 

[Terran Empress]

I get the feeling that there are way more male->female transitions than the other way round. (e.g. Wachowski brothers to sisters) Do you think this to be true or is it just a matter of perception?

Sorry about butting in, but i'm not going to lie i've thought this too, and I really don't know why that could be other than possibly more visible because of a male dominated society or possibly because m -> f is harder because there are more changes and is more obvious possibly? so that it is more "visible" during the in between of transition, I don't remember what it is called but I think I remember reading on r/mtf on reddit or something like that about how its easier for women to look like men, while it can be really hard for a man to look like a women. So its just easier for a girl to just switch to living as a guy rather than the other way around?

I don't really know 100% tbh, just throwing out some possibilities, i'll go back to lurking now, sorry.

 

[Omega124]

In all actuality, the rate of mtf and ftm are actually about the same in terms of actual occurrence. As for why it seems trans women seem way more common, there's a few factors I think that play out. This is all conjecture on my part, so bear with me.

One is being kind of what Terra was hinting at: it's easier for biological women to pass as men than the opposite. Trans men therefore don't stick out as much when transitioning as trans women do. Therefore, you just don't notice them in the same way.

Another reason may be that it's more socially acceptable for women to be butch than men to be effeminate. This allows women to perhaps express their gender in a more healthy fashion than men can, thus perhaps making potentional trans men cool with themselves and don't feel the pressure to transition.

Relatedly, the procedures for ftm just aren't there like they are for mtf. We still can't make a fully functional penis, unlike the countless successful artificial vaginas that have been made over the years. As one person said, "it's easier to dig a hole than fix a pole". The fact that there's no good prospects for SRS (unless you don't care about have penis sex) might deter further trans men.

Finally, and more ancedotaley to the Internet, up until prolly the 2000s, the Internet was more of a male thing (now, I think women actually slightly outnumber men, but it's definetly equalish), which means up to about my generation, you have mostly people born as males using this form of telecommunications. Obviously, the trans portion of that popular would be trans women, rather than trans men. I think. I might be talking out of my ass on this one.

 

[Cheetah]

How does coming out work? Hmmm. You don't do it all at once. I blurted it out to my wife while driving.

Huh? That sounds like a story in itself.

Testosterone influences how oily your skin is. Lower levels of testosterone correspond with decreased oil production.

Really? Learning something new everyday.

I'm more assertive. To quote my BFF, "I do what I want" whereas for most of my life it was, "I do... what I think will make me inconspicuous"

That doesn't sound very traditionally feminine. I assume that is more because of you feeling more confident about yourself these days?

On the other hand, it's like being in puberty again. I have to relearn how to control my emotions. I have to learn what is and is not appropriate behaviour. Biochemically, I'm an adolescent girl and sometimes I'm not ready for how strong an emotion will be. I'll express unjustified anger or unjustified disappointment because I don't know how balance an emotion against rational thought. Unfortunately, the people most likely to see that slip are the people most important to me. Thankfully, they've all been incredibly understanding.

My sympathies to your wive.

I fell in love with dark chocolate. My ability to appreciate flavour absolutely changed. I eat a LOT better as a result.

Cool. Any other specifics? Are you just hinting at being less interested in sugar now, and eating more vegetables and stuff? No buckets of ice cream or anything?

(Sorry if I continue to bring up these questions, but I'm really interested in how (or not) you feel/notice the hormones have changed your personality.)