The Bureau of Public Information
Welcomes You to Moscow
Moscow is the largest city in the United Corporatist Commonwealth of Russia, the seat of national government, and therefore where the Board of Directors gather to decide the affairs of the nation, as stated in the National Constitution of the Second October Revolution,
"... for the shareholders and by the shareholders". Moscow has various scenic locations available for viewing for the discerning tourist. While after The Troubles, many nations have discarded tourism altogether, thanks to the will of the shareholders, Moscow remains open to sightseers and travelers alike. Moscow is, in addition to the capital of the United Commonwealth, the regional seat of the Muscovy District. This illustrious history of national and regional administration has allowed for the creation of a large governmental edifice, both modern and historic, within the city. Old Soviet bloc, Federation-era, and even some imperial governmental structures have survived the ages, and indeed The Troubles, and are available for public tour. Of course, Moscow boasts a large commercial section, with shops ranging from basic goods to luxury items.
THINGS TO SEE
-Modern government offices (when not in use)
-Historic government facilities (8AM - 8PM weekdays)
-The Kremlin
-Kremlin Giftshop
-Kremlin Amusement Park
-Kremlin Stadium
-Art deco Kremlin, postmodernist Kremlin, postpostmodernist Kremlin, deconstruction of the Kremlin, reconstruction of the Kremlin, mini Kremlin, McDonald's Kremlin
-Shops and stores
-The glorious seat of the United Commonwealth
-Cowbell
-More cowbell
Despite the glories of Moscow's downtown, the Bureau of Public Information encourages you to avoid the North and East Quarters, where crime, usury, and general public discontent is a continuing issue. Tourists should avoid giving to beggars, feeding the poor, helping the homeless, or otherwise aiding and abetting the decay of society. If tourists are adamant about entering the North and East Quarters, they should obey all laws, regulations and mandates set down by Civil Defense. Public riots, unlawful demonstrations or any other kind of illegal behavior by the residents of the North and East Quarters will be responded to with all necessary force. Civil Defense is authorized by the Board of Directors to employ lethal force where it is determined necessary, therefore all tourists should avoid being within the vicinity of illegal activity by undesirables. Civil Defense are easily recognizable by their colorful gas masks, bright flashy uniforms, and loyalty to the shareholders!
Civil Defense forces enforcing the will of the shareholders
Other sites to see in Moscow include the East Quarter's historic industrial parks, center of the driving force of industry that empowers the Russian people, and employment for the poor and destitute. Various goods are manufactured and produced here, where the people labor in the betterment of their nation. Various industrial magnates that own property within the parks form the backbone of the nation's shareholders, and even more are members of the Board of Directors. Russian industry is tied integrally to the fabric of the Russian nation, and its citizens are proud to be a part of the glorious industrial, national endeavor. Various detractors of industry claim that the smog emitted by Moscow's factories has a negative effect on human health, but the Bureau of Public Information is glad to declaim these false accusations. Industrial "waste", a byproduct of the glorious capitalist endeavor, is in fact a boost to the health of the human immune system, as well as to the health of the lungs and heart. We call it "Progress Smog".
Progress Smog(TM) -- breathe it in, it's good for you!
As discussed previously, Moscow boasts an impressive financial and commercial district. All forms of services can be bought and sold here, in the city center. The glorious work of capitalism is on display for all to see, epitomized in the wealth and prosperity of the Russian people who work in and own the businesses of the city center. Merchants accept all forms of currency in varying degrees, thanks to the great economic and trade influence of the United Commonwealth. As they say, "To Moscow I came, seeking fortune! But they're making me [redacted]". The Bureau of Private Information and Censorship is also [redacted] in the [redacted] next to the [pretty soon you're going to regret getting involved in things that don't concern you].
The Bureau of Private Information and Censorship
There is of course, Moscow's famous night scene. Various bars and clubs make up the world-renowned night life of the city, as well as an equally-famed comedy circuit. Ivan Ysenki shows us how it's done in this famous quote, "... Isn't if funny how wonderful the United Commonwealth is, and how well the Board of Directors manages our internal and external affairs? Haha! You may laugh now." Yes, Moscow is a center of activity and energy in the United Commonwealth, and throughout the world. We are glad you have chosen to visit this historic city, capital of this great nation. On behalf of the Board of Directors, the shareholders, and the people of this great nation, the Bureau of Public Information thanks you.
From: United Corporatist Commonwealth of Russia
To: California
The Board of Directors deems your offer beneficial. We will contact you as to the details.