Inherant Rebbellion

[Harbringer]

Its seems to me (being fifteen) that my parents and I disagree on everything, but as far asI can tell with myself, it is not out of the simple want to rebel but it actually stems from the fact that we just genuinely disagree on everything. I have noticed this to in other kids, but it tends to be an all or nothing matter. Either you are a rebellious kid or you are not. I have two ideas about this, the first being that some kids are just inherently hard coded to disagree with thee parents(perhaps a survival mechanism or something other) or the times and eras are changing. Ive considered the latter because a lot of my rebellion tends to come from my tolerance of pretty much everything. My parents were raised in an era where being gay was considered something inherently wrong with a person that needed to be fixed, but as we can clearly see that is no longer the case. Thoughts anyone?

 

[Tee Kay]

Bah. Parents everywhere are the same: trying to impose their values on their children. Sometimes that's fine sometimes it's not, but as a kid you can't do anything about it. They're still your parents, you have to respect them. It's ok to disagree and the parent definitely need to listen to their children but it's not ok to be openly rebellious.

 

[Narz]

Its seems to me (being fifteen) that my parents and I disagree on everything, but as far asI can tell with myself, it is not out of the simple want to rebel but it actually stems from the fact that we just genuinely disagree on everything. I have noticed this to in other kids, but it tends to be an all or nothing matter. Either you are a rebellious kid or you are not. I have two ideas about this, the first being that some kids are just inherently hard coded to disagree with thee parents(perhaps a survival mechanism or something other) or the times and eras are changing. Ive considered the latter because a lot of my rebellion tends to come from my tolerance of pretty much everything. My parents were raised in an era where being gay was considered something inherently wrong with a person that needed to be fixed, but as we can clearly see that is no longer the case. Thoughts anyone?

Well, in my opinion, our parent's generation screwed up the world in a lot of ways for us to deal with.

They think that things are a simple and clear cut as they were in their day but they aren't.

That said, yeah, it is natural (in modern civilization anyway) for generational disagreements.

Of course for me, most of what my parents told me I would someday come to agree with them on, I haven't. Don't let an "elders" browbeat you into submission but then again don't be a rebel just for the sake of argument either.

 

[col]

When I was 15 I was appalled by how ignorant my parents were.
When I was 21 I was amazed at how much they had learned in 6 years

 

[IglooDame]

I'd suggest keeping two things in mind:

#1, they love you unconditionally and want you to be happy in life

#2, they were once your age, and though memory tends to trim the weeds, they probably had similar go-rounds with their parents way back when but have also had the benefit of living twenty additional years. They're probably trying to help you avoid mistakes that they made.

It wasn't any simpler back then, that's as much complete bullcrap as is "you kids have it sooo easy today." Also in the bullcrap category is 'the parent's generation screwing it up for you/us.'

 

[Narz]

I'd suggest keeping two things in mind:

#1, they love you unconditionally and want you to be happy in life

Ha, maybe your parents love you unconditionally. Plenty of parents withdraw contact with their adult children completely (or even their non-adult children). Many other ditch their kids just after their born (adoption). You can't universalize something like that.

It wasn't any simpler back then, that's as much complete bullcrap as is "you kids have it sooo easy today."

Well, in some ways both are true. The world is certainly, undeniably more complex and kids today are generally more spoiled (making it, sadly, even harder for them to cope with the challenges ahead).

Also in the bullcrap category is 'the parent's generation screwing it up for you/us.'

*cough* Global warming. *cough* Much of the world hating our country. Not to mention many of the other problems lined up for us in the 21st century (overpopulation, the effects of the decline of fossil fuels, etc.).

Not saying it makes any sense to cast blame but denying the blind spots of our parents makes just as little.

Growing up like our parents, excepting the same job security and ever climbing economic growth indefinitely is an excersise in stupidity.

 

[Oruc]

I usually agree with my parents, never rebelled either.

 

[cthom]

it's a never ending circle. i wish i could find the link. but a report suggested that teenagers are biologically inclined to fall out with their parents.
hey, googled it! http://www.newscientist.com/article.ns?id=dn2925

 

[Mise]

The relationship with your parents is pretty much like any other: You can either focus on the things you agree on, or the things you disagree on.

 

[AL_DA_GREAT]

I hate parents!!!! I don't think there is anything wrong with us fun loving cool teens but those old people just need to learn to have fun. seriously people are cool until they have kids then they become soo boring. My uncle was destroyed that way.

 

[Elrohir]

Its seems to me (being fifteen) that my parents and I disagree on everything, but as far asI can tell with myself, it is not out of the simple want to rebel but it actually stems from the fact that we just genuinely disagree on everything. I have noticed this to in other kids, but it tends to be an all or nothing matter. Either you are a rebellious kid or you are not. I have two ideas about this, the first being that some kids are just inherently hard coded to disagree with thee parents(perhaps a survival mechanism or something other) or the times and eras are changing. Ive considered the latter because a lot of my rebellion tends to come from my tolerance of pretty much everything. My parents were raised in an era where being gay was considered something inherently wrong with a person that needed to be fixed, but as we can clearly see that is no longer the case. Thoughts anyone?

We can?

Anyway, most teenagers don't get along with their parents at least some of the time. (Some for longer periods than others) Even if they're wrong, there is a right way and a wrong way to go about stating your difference of opinion. If you quietly and politely say "I don't agree with what you just said, for such and such reasons", then they would be hard pressed to send you to your room, or whatever. Even if they don't agree, it's hard not to respect someone's views when they are endlessly polite, calm, and rational about expressing them.

Of course, I realize that you're 15 and sometimes it seems like you are being completly rational, and they're just being stupid. Well, maybe so. Or maybe not. I'd just keep in mind that they love you, and that if you show love and respect to them, they'll probably show the same to you, even when you disagree.

 

[Masquerouge]

Wow 15-year-old teenagers rebelling against parents? How usual!

Let's just say that this is a very common process for affirming your identity.

 

[Catharsis]

Ugh, rebellious teens, don't get me started. My school is infested with them.

"Yeah man well ah wuz just smokin a fag in ma room when ma dad came in an wuz all like wat you doin? an i wuz like nun uv yor bizness innit? an he like took all ma fags ohmigod parents are like soooooo unfair innit?"

It's having to listen to stuff like that that caused me to go on insane bloodthirsty rampages. At least, that's what the nice friendly men said when they took me away.

 

[Nylan]

A flaw in a relationship is going to be based on a lack of communication that goes both ways. Yes, you may disagree, but you won't get into altercations and you'll be perfectly content unless one of you (or both) refuses to compromise, and is selfish.

Love is not selfish, it is selfless. Love and obey your parents, even if you feel they don't love you. Hopefully (and it's usually the case), they will warm up to you and break down their barriers as well. Not always the way things work, but it's been the best formula I've seen.

Teens need to stop thinking "win-lose" and start thinking "win-win"

 

[Kozmos]

My parents are Christians. I am a covert atheist. Result?

Disagreement on most moral questions.

 

[Harbringer]

Cleric you nailed it on the head, my father regularly reminds me that he has to put god before all things, and I just cant cope with that, i feel like **** when he tells me things like that. We disagree on a lot of political and social issues and things like that, he is a very intollerant person, essentially if you dont dress "normal" or do "normal" things and especially are not a christian then you are nothing in hsi eyes. He deals with all his problems by simply not taking them seriously, he attmpets to write of things he doesnt like by acting that noone takes them seriously, or its rediculous and I just have to wonder, do we disagree becuase of some kind of inherant thing, or do we genuinely disagree?

 

[Masquerouge]

I just have to wonder, do we disagree becuase of some kind of inherant thing, or do we genuinely disagree?

Probably a mix of both. On the one hand, you're growing up and you're not a kid anymore, you're becoming an individual with your own personality, and that's a big change for both you and your parents since you were used to the kid vs parents relationship. So basically you're becoming more and more independent and they'll have to cope with that. That's the inherent disagreement: you not being a kid anymore.
On the other hand, since you're developping your own ideas, they will not be the same as your parents. That's the genuine disagreement.

The inherent disagreement usually disappears after a couple of years (usually when you leave the house ). The genuine disagreement won't. You'll have to learn to still love each other, because this is a new situation. When you were a kid you had basically no opinions and thus no disagreement.

And sometimes the rift is so big and people are so obtuse that you'll just have to go your separate ways.

And the most annoying part of it all is certainly to listen to everybody telling you it happened to them also

 

[Xanikk999]

When I was 15 I was appalled by how ignorant my parents were.
When I was 21 I was amazed at how much they had learned in 6 years

Im 20 and i dont see this yet.... My dads still a jerk.

 

[De Lorimier]

When I was 15 I was appalled by how ignorant my parents were.
When I was 21 I was amazed at how much they had learned in 6 years

This reminds me of something my mom has on her fridge for the last few years. It goes something in the line of:

Spoiler :

5 years old: My mom's the greatest person in the world

8 years old: My mom knows everything

10 years old: My mom knows a lot of things

12 years old: My mom doesn't know everything after all

15 yearld old: That old woman? She's clueless!

18 years old: Mom knows about some things

21 years old: Maybe mom is not so wrong after all

26 years old: Yeah, ok, Mom's advice can be useful

31 years old: Let's ask mom what she thinks about that

40 years old: I wish mom was still around to hear what she would say about that

The funny thing is that the damn piece of paper has been on there for the past five years during wich I went from 21 to 26. I noticed the gradual change take place too.

 

[Harbringer]

I think that change occurs because your no longer around them and you don't see them as much, so when you come to them with something they think it out more because it becomes more of a special occasion.