Askthepizzaguy
Know the Dark Side
I never thought I'd see the day.
LINK TO ARTICLE
DATELINE: NORWAY
SNOOP DOGG BUSTED BY SNOOPING DOG.
SEZ CUSTOMS OFFICIAL: "NOR-WAY THAT COULD HAVE HAPPENED."
Here's what happened, for those unaccustomed to reading serious and important breaking news articles of the utmost urgency:
Snoop Dogg, moderately well-known and affluent lyrics producer was detained inSweden Finland Norway Scandinaviland for possession of large amounts of cash money.
As a concerned citizen (of the world, not Norway) I am shocked and appalled by this Calvin Cordozar Broadus. How dare he set a poor example for our young and impressionable children by carrying around large amounts of currency, such that it might entice robbers and highwaymen into criminal activities for the purposes of making a quick profit! Wait, was that even a question?
And it also appears he was in possession of a little bit of the substance known as Kronic, and was fined many Kroners (a Kronic-based currency, I imagine) for the possession of both Kronic and Kroners at the same time. In this re-poster's very unlearned opinion, this was probably a precautionary measure. If someone were to possess too much of the Kronic and its counterpart, the Kroner, it could rip a hole in the very fabric of the space-time continuum. Worse yet, someone might idolize sir Broadus and form an affinity for the same sorts of habits as the gentleman in question. I can see it now.
"Dearest Mother, may we go to the mall or a local boutique to purchase the vocal stylings and rhythmic accompaniment of a quality I come to expect from a former Crip who used to sell cocaine, and has a very naughty name for his debut album, as it reminds me of nonstandard coitus!"
Little did we know that after purchasing the so-called "Rap" CD in question, our little Billy would change his name to Cordazar the Malevolent and begin peddling PCP throughout the neighborhood and strangling hookers. Worse, he might begin smoking The Marriageawanaa. How ghastly!
And this Snoop Doggy Dogg character, what sort of man is he, running around with Kroners to spare, and unsmoked Kronic as well? Doesn't he realize money is for spending and Kronic is for smoking!? Perhaps he has confused the two. I shall now have to write a strongly worded letter to the head of Priority Records and tell him that this matter should, in fact, BE their top priority.
To be honest, I wasn't even aware that this Calvin Broadus was the sort of person to partake of the stinky green. It just doesn't seem to be in his character.
And I certainly didn't know that these "Rap musicians" had all that much money. They seem to be lacking in the kind of cash necessary to buy real musical instruments, and that's why they just sort of spit and make noises to provide a crude percussion section.
Frankly, this should be front page news worldwide. Snoop Dogg had a bag of weed with him on a trip... next thing you know, there's turmoil in the middle east. It's shady characters like this that are the reason why I'm afraid of the underprivileged and need to live in gated communities that cannot be broken into unless you're delivering pizza and are willing to wait five minutes to tail someone else inside.
I just noticed the last part about it not being his first offense. I honestly hadn't heard of any previous offenses with this guy.
LINK TO ARTICLE
DATELINE: NORWAY
SNOOP DOGG BUSTED BY SNOOPING DOG.
SEZ CUSTOMS OFFICIAL: "NOR-WAY THAT COULD HAVE HAPPENED."
Here's what happened, for those unaccustomed to reading serious and important breaking news articles of the utmost urgency:
Snoop Dogg, moderately well-known and affluent lyrics producer was detained in
As a concerned citizen (of the world, not Norway) I am shocked and appalled by this Calvin Cordozar Broadus. How dare he set a poor example for our young and impressionable children by carrying around large amounts of currency, such that it might entice robbers and highwaymen into criminal activities for the purposes of making a quick profit! Wait, was that even a question?
And it also appears he was in possession of a little bit of the substance known as Kronic, and was fined many Kroners (a Kronic-based currency, I imagine) for the possession of both Kronic and Kroners at the same time. In this re-poster's very unlearned opinion, this was probably a precautionary measure. If someone were to possess too much of the Kronic and its counterpart, the Kroner, it could rip a hole in the very fabric of the space-time continuum. Worse yet, someone might idolize sir Broadus and form an affinity for the same sorts of habits as the gentleman in question. I can see it now.
"Dearest Mother, may we go to the mall or a local boutique to purchase the vocal stylings and rhythmic accompaniment of a quality I come to expect from a former Crip who used to sell cocaine, and has a very naughty name for his debut album, as it reminds me of nonstandard coitus!"
Little did we know that after purchasing the so-called "Rap" CD in question, our little Billy would change his name to Cordazar the Malevolent and begin peddling PCP throughout the neighborhood and strangling hookers. Worse, he might begin smoking The Marriageawanaa. How ghastly!
And this Snoop Doggy Dogg character, what sort of man is he, running around with Kroners to spare, and unsmoked Kronic as well? Doesn't he realize money is for spending and Kronic is for smoking!? Perhaps he has confused the two. I shall now have to write a strongly worded letter to the head of Priority Records and tell him that this matter should, in fact, BE their top priority.
To be honest, I wasn't even aware that this Calvin Broadus was the sort of person to partake of the stinky green. It just doesn't seem to be in his character.
And I certainly didn't know that these "Rap musicians" had all that much money. They seem to be lacking in the kind of cash necessary to buy real musical instruments, and that's why they just sort of spit and make noises to provide a crude percussion section.
Frankly, this should be front page news worldwide. Snoop Dogg had a bag of weed with him on a trip... next thing you know, there's turmoil in the middle east. It's shady characters like this that are the reason why I'm afraid of the underprivileged and need to live in gated communities that cannot be broken into unless you're delivering pizza and are willing to wait five minutes to tail someone else inside.
I just noticed the last part about it not being his first offense. I honestly hadn't heard of any previous offenses with this guy.
