Marriage starts from what you believe it is love, but the only real thing is that to stay married (which is different than get married) the one true virtue is the ability to make compromises. You can, of course, persuade yourself that it is the way to show your love with actions.classical_hero said:
Marriage
- Thread starter ComradeDavo
- Start date
MobBoss
Off-Topic Overlord
Narz said:
That works both ways. Unless you are an animal you cant really say they are experiencing emtion. Appearances can be deceiving.
I humbly disagree. Jesus himself asked for the cup to be taken away from him prior to his sacrifice....to him it certainly felt like a sacrifice......but it was alsot an ultimate expression of love. Btw, after 22 years of marriage, I can pretty much say I think "I am doing it right".
Pyrite
Emperor
"Hmm, my girl doesn't seem overjoyed at the thought of me having sex with other women. I try to explain that loving figs doesn't necessarily mean I love apples or cherimoya any less. However the analogy generally doesn't go over too well."
Yeah, it's a weiiird thing to talk about. Luckily everyone in the situation was young and not rusted so it turned out okay. Once you actually get into the reality of the new relationship dynamic it's just...nice.
Not everyone is involved with one another, it's not like a circle of joy and shared love, it's like oh i love you, but this person too. For some reason making someone choose seems to be..more controlling then loving.
"Ok, while I'm here, let me tackle the flip side... would I want my girl with some other dude? No, not ideally. HOWEVER, I realize that this (like my repulsion towards armpit hair) is due to cultural conditioning and the primal desire to spread my own seed to the females of my choice at the exclusion of other males"
I think everyone get's that feeling sort of. It goes against everything that we are taught is supposed to be. Whatever, if I want to fall in love with boys, then I really can't see a reason to forbid any girls in my life the same fun haha.
Yeah, it's a weiiird thing to talk about. Luckily everyone in the situation was young and not rusted so it turned out okay. Once you actually get into the reality of the new relationship dynamic it's just...nice.
Not everyone is involved with one another, it's not like a circle of joy and shared love, it's like oh i love you, but this person too. For some reason making someone choose seems to be..more controlling then loving.
"Ok, while I'm here, let me tackle the flip side... would I want my girl with some other dude? No, not ideally. HOWEVER, I realize that this (like my repulsion towards armpit hair) is due to cultural conditioning and the primal desire to spread my own seed to the females of my choice at the exclusion of other males"
I think everyone get's that feeling sort of. It goes against everything that we are taught is supposed to be. Whatever, if I want to fall in love with boys, then I really can't see a reason to forbid any girls in my life the same fun haha.
Pyrite
Emperor
"That works both ways. Unless you are an animal you cant really say they are experiencing emtion. Appearances can be deceiving."
I am an animal. Animals experience emotions.
"I humbly disagree. Jesus himself asked for the cup to be taken away from him prior to his sacrifice....to him it certainly felt like a sacrifice......but it was alsot an ultimate expression of love. Btw, after 22 years of marriage, I can pretty much say I think "I am doing it right"."
Jesus was a sacrifice. To save a people who even if THEY hadn't really done anything much wrong, from getting killed from himself! On some inane technicality. Please. That wasn't love, that was a homicidal maniac absorbed in his own rules practicing masturbation. I hope that isn't a real model of what people in love should do.
I am an animal. Animals experience emotions.
"I humbly disagree. Jesus himself asked for the cup to be taken away from him prior to his sacrifice....to him it certainly felt like a sacrifice......but it was alsot an ultimate expression of love. Btw, after 22 years of marriage, I can pretty much say I think "I am doing it right"."
Jesus was a sacrifice. To save a people who even if THEY hadn't really done anything much wrong, from getting killed from himself! On some inane technicality. Please. That wasn't love, that was a homicidal maniac absorbed in his own rules practicing masturbation. I hope that isn't a real model of what people in love should do.
While to the male brain multiple loving realtionships may be an enticing thought, in reality they don't work very well unless you have a bevy of women who want to be controlled and led by a dominant male. Women are "programmed" differently than men and such inter linked relationships get very unstable pretty quickly because of day to day issue of roles and who does what when. It has all been tried before and never worked, unless you were of sufficient power to enforce the arrangement over time.Pyrite said:
One could debate whether the failure stems from a genetic tendancy or social restraints, but whatever the reason, history has shown that humans reject that model as a viable way to live outside of a few very special situations (mostly tribal cultures).
Pyrite said:
Huh? That may be your interpretation of the Gospels (even if it doesn't seem to make any sense) but certainly not the way I read it. Jesus was prepared to undergo unimaginable suffering to save mankind, to pay a price that we ourselves could not pay, when he didn't have to. That is love. However, it is not exactly the sort of love that is required for a marriage. But such should require sacrifice - sometimes you have to do things not because you want tp but just because you know it is the right thing to do.
Pyrite
Emperor
"Huh? That may be your interpretation of the Gospels (even if it doesn't seem to make any sense) but certainly not the way I read it. Jesus was prepared to undergo unimaginable suffering to save mankind, to pay a price that we ourselves could not pay, when he didn't have to."
....Who decided on the rules to the game in the first place? "raaaawr you guys are bad you eat apples I will kill you and your descendants now until forever unless you be good!!..guys...i changed my mind it's cool, now you just gotta say you believe in me and we'll have mansions and stuff, no guys i swear this time it's cool.just be cool...no anger..or other peoples wives, be cool." Like god had to go commit suicide just to keep himself from killing us because he had to kill SOMETHING. lol whatever.
"While to the male brain multiple loving realtionships may be an enticing thought, in reality they don't work very well unless you have a bevy of women who want to be controlled and led by a dominant male"
...I don't know, the relationship that prompted my move towards "free love" has been going on for quite a while now. Almost 4 years (including some breakups) now. With lots of communication about whatever issues come up and caring things just tend to work out. Plus it wasn't solely my idea, and dominant doesn't really seem like a word to describe me, in my opinion.
....Who decided on the rules to the game in the first place? "raaaawr you guys are bad you eat apples I will kill you and your descendants now until forever unless you be good!!..guys...i changed my mind it's cool, now you just gotta say you believe in me and we'll have mansions and stuff, no guys i swear this time it's cool.just be cool...no anger..or other peoples wives, be cool." Like god had to go commit suicide just to keep himself from killing us because he had to kill SOMETHING. lol whatever.
"While to the male brain multiple loving realtionships may be an enticing thought, in reality they don't work very well unless you have a bevy of women who want to be controlled and led by a dominant male"
...I don't know, the relationship that prompted my move towards "free love" has been going on for quite a while now. Almost 4 years (including some breakups) now. With lots of communication about whatever issues come up and caring things just tend to work out. Plus it wasn't solely my idea, and dominant doesn't really seem like a word to describe me, in my opinion.
_Philospher_
Balancing the cranium
I guess I'm going with the majority on this one and saying love. Why love? When things get ruff in a relationship...if there is no love then its basically being in hell with another person. 
Seriously though, money, tradition and religion are vitally important in a marrige as well. If the amount of money earned in the house hold is uneven then there is going to be an argument over WHO can spend and HOW much one or the other can spend. If the tradition in your family is to marry within your race...(either purposly or not) than it will matter if you marry a white person and your family is all black or visa versa. (Note: I'm not against multi-racial marriages. Ok...just for the record ) Religion is important as well...I mean its kind of hard to explain to the kids that mom is jewish and dad is a christian, ya know? However, with love abound these problems though major become minor...
Seriously though, money, tradition and religion are vitally important in a marrige as well. If the amount of money earned in the house hold is uneven then there is going to be an argument over WHO can spend and HOW much one or the other can spend. If the tradition in your family is to marry within your race...(either purposly or not) than it will matter if you marry a white person and your family is all black or visa versa. (Note: I'm not against multi-racial marriages. Ok...just for the record ) Religion is important as well...I mean its kind of hard to explain to the kids that mom is jewish and dad is a christian, ya know? However, with love abound these problems though major become minor...
amadeus
Bishop of Bio-Dome
Trust, but that isn't an option on the poll.
_Philospher_
Balancing the cranium
rmsharpe said:
Excellent point! Yes trust is very essential. Thanks for pointing that one out.
Gladi
The ignored thread killer
Bright day
Family - trust, honour, love, obediance, money. Official marriage thus pretty much for the money.
Family - trust, honour, love, obediance, money. Official marriage thus pretty much for the money.
Narz
keeping it real
No, it's cloudy here.Gladi said:
Pyrite said:
Without getting too off-topic, that is not at all how it worked. We have free will and thus can sin; we cannot pay the price for sin, being imperfect; therefore Christ did, out of love. That is a summary; it is actually far more complicated.
Kan' Sharuminar
Fluffy
Trust and love.
"love is a many splendored thing, all you need is love"
"love is a many splendored thing, all you need is love"
Perfection
The Great Head.
No, it can be in my best interests in a variety of ways, certainly monetary is a consideration though especially when it comes to marriages between people I don't care that much about (eg. most humans).Scratcher said:
(It's a good idea not to put words into other people's mouths)
Similar threads
