Multipolarity III - Game Thread

[Daedwartin]

Mr Perfect: Don't worry, my science is always perfect! No one can interfere in my work!

Cathisis: Come on now, we don't want to anger an NGO. And I mean, I can't see why they shouldn't help him. We wouldn't want anything to happen to the kittens.

SingleA: There is only one kitten, but have you seen what the Foundation does to kittens?

Cathisis: Holy [EXPLETIVE REDACTED] why are those litt[DATA EXPUNGED]nd spikes in their [REDACTED]! [EXPLETIVE REDACTED]!

Mr Perfect: Where did he learn to do that!?

Questionthepizzadude: From [REDACTED]!

Cathisis:...whydidtheydothattothekittens...whydidtheydothattothekittens...

Mr Perfect: So YOU taught him. How did you learn to do that anyway?

Questionsthepizzadude: I'm a spy, of course I know how to [REDACTED] and [DATA EXPUNGED]! I even know how to █.

Cathisis:...whydidtheydothattothekittens...whydidtheydothattothekittens...

SingleA: Can you teach us?

Questionthepizzadude: Sure can! It's really easy! All you need to do is[DATA EXPUNGED]nd that's all there is to it!

Cathisis:...whydidtheydothattothekittens...whydidtheydothattothekittens...

SingleA: How, it's so [EXPLETIVE REDACTED]ly simple! Now I can make sexual innoendoes about how Mr Perfect [REDACTED] the [DATA EXPUNGED] in the [EXPLETEIVE REDACTED] ███████ times!

Cathisis:...whydidtheydothattothekittens...whydidtheydothattothekittens...

Mr Perfect: GASP! Well, look at this super secret document then!

██████ █████████ ██████ Single ██ █ █████ ██ ███ ████ ██ A ███ is████ a ████ big ████ poo ████ poo ████ ██████ ██████ █ ██ ███████ ████ ██████ ██████ █ ██ █████ ██ ██████ █████████ ██████ █ ███████ ██████ ██████ █ ██ █████ ██ ██████ █████████ ██████ █ ███████ ██████ ██████ █ ██ █████ ██ ██████ █████████ ██████ █ ███████ ██████ ██████ █ ██ █████ ██ ██████ █████████ ██████ █ ███████ ██████ ██████ █ ██ █████ ██ ██████ █████████ ██████ █ ███████ ██████ ██████ █ ██ █████ ██ ██████ █████████ ██████ █ head.

SingleA: Why you little [EXPLETIVE REDACTED][DATA EXPUNGED]

*SingleA and Mr Perfect are both unconcious, Questionthepizzadude is eating his pizza while Cathisis is still muttering about the kittens being tortured*

Questionthepizzadude: You know that those documents were fake, right?

Cathisis: Really? How do you knw that?

Questionthepizzadude: I'm a spy, I...

Cathisis: ...know these things, yeah. I'm going to go home and hug my kittens, that document was too horrible for words, even if it was fake.

*Cathisis walks out. Yoshi Bovine walks in*

Yoshi Bovine: Holy [EXPLETIVE REDACTED] guys! This is the ██th time you've done this! Dad is going to be pissed! And we still haven't tol those SCP guys an answer about the kittens!

Questionthepizzadude: You're the master of TL;DR Spamsu, why don't you do it?

*Yoshi Bovine sighs then puts his hands together*

Yoshi Bovine: TL;DR no spamsu!

TL;DR, yes, we would appreciate the help of the SCP Foundation in out kitten experiments. Mr Perfect might grumble a bit, but he will cooperate. Eventually.

*Yoshi Bovine walks out with Questionthepizzadude. SingleA wakes up from being unconcious and looks at the camera*

SingleA: That was a nice nap. And the SCP Foundation is going to [EXPLETIVE REDACTED] the [REDACTED] out. And I am going to enjoy it. Have a good morning/evening/night/whatever folks. And don't let SCP-██ bite. No, seriously, don't.

A little of this here, a little bit their... Perfecto!
/me about 50 rainbow-colored kittens come walking out.
It's much easier doing it when someone in our organization already tried it. And succeeded...after 2000 some differnent tries...hey, I didn't say we were the most Moral of organizations, just that we try to secure what threats we have contained in order to protect the earth. This does mean researching these threats. Some of our encountered threats are actually now respectable agents...those are the threats that definately aren't Keter Level or elucid level...at least elucid ones don't as a rule break the brain. Keter objects...some of them defy the Very laws of physics...also those who do join and visit HQ, it's a cup of coffee. No asking for cups of joe. Their is a reason the coffee machine has a very-well armed gaurd assigned to gaurd IT. Unless your a vampire, you will not be needing what it considers a cup of joe, which if you were a vampire, that would be the last thing you were thinking about as you either be trying to escape, insane to the extreme or are Zoro from one piece...as for you to accidentally find HQ requires one to REALLY get lost. If your on purpose here, and not to turn your self in...we will gladly beat you up in that fight you wanted. We have the men, and our top agents...well, have fun finding out we count memetic kill as a method of death. If turning yourself in, thank you in advance.
We are half tempted to declare Doctor perfect a SCP.

 

[Ailedhoo]

Baron Lonan Nelson of Rushan stared into the court garden of Nicolas Gell, Prince Bishop of Peel and Archbishop of Mann. The walls surrounding the large square garden were of limestone. The orchids growing around the garden were exstreamly healthy, growing high in hight. Yellow roses mixed with red roses mixed with whited roses in many of the plots. However the attraction was in the centre: a square plot of red roses save for the positioning of white and yellow roses to forge the Three Legs of Man on background that made it the Manx national flag into the centre of the Bishop's garden. Passion flowers came many of a place, along with daffodils. Lilies were gathered in each corner. Manx Maids, another flower of note, were present in positions of the most south, west, north and east squares of the garden. It was a community of flowering that was the garden of the Bishop of Peel.

Nelson's observations ended with a "the Prince Bishop is ready to see you sir." A servent dragged in red woolen cloths bowed as the Baron of Rushan went through the door. In the room he saw, not in his desk which behind it was a painting of the Virgin Mother with the Child but rather cleaning the glass of a painting of St Germanus of Auxerre, the Prince Bishop of Peel. He quickly finished his job and turned to the Cheif Imperial Advisor to the Emperor of Man. "So... hows your day?" spoke the Bishop to the Baron.

The Baron look at the opposite side of the room to the painting of Germanus of Auxerre, observing the painting of St Maughold. The Baron turned his eyes to the Bishop and the spoke the words "Thy be greeting to be replied with "fine" and to be ask of your own... feelings." The Baron observed the Bishop slowly walking to the centre of the room. Then the Bishop began the verses with the Baron:

"It is pleasent to ask of you: how is the Imperail Twins? Are they learning well from you Lonan?"

"Magnus is learning well in languages and in warfare but I issue that his considerations of pratical solutions in political siturations need developing. He is though gifted in enjoying musical verse need I say but he seems sadly unintrested in the verses of Church singing, although he does study the Holy Book as part of the language lessons. Denel is learning well in war and in the art of conspiracy but he is shy to the bone with little brave feeling to siturations most chaotic. I think he does holy study but I feel he is too well verse in conspiracy for me to give a final judgement. They both been observing the classics as desired and are both learning the lessons in commerce. They are both questionable on their regel customs but they can develop them. They both have understanding of the arts, although Magnus more than Denel. Their geography is a bit worrying, for let alone their failure to fully place down the notion of the landscape and of population consideration, they are also failing to name all provinces of the Imperium, especilly the newer ones like Rhodes or "Sicily" according to Magnus. Denel at least stated "I do not know" to the issue of the name of the isle that name be Rhodes."

"To be fair... after that chaotic shenanigans over our expantion, first with Iceland then with south-west France, which I have to say was rather questionable to challange the Pope's requests, it is reasonable to be unsure of our new lands. The Emperor need know his limits."

"Says the one who three Sundays past spoke of Gilmore Flanagon as "God's judge of the Isle of Man who is set to give leadership to us all till the Lord Jesus Christ comes down and brings judgement to all, including the Emperor of Man." Those lines did not sound like the lines of a person with limits."

"Your point is taken."

"Of course the purpose of this meeting is on limits that even the "judge of the Isle of Man" must take heed."

"Of course. Healing the damage caused by the issues of France with the Pope... is a duty we must take great heed in service to the Emperor."

"The state visit plan need be set after the failure to organise the state visit last year. I trust you to set in links with the Pope to ensure the visit of the Emperor to the Papal States to ensure our allaince is set forth, especilly with issue of the land crisis finally to be healed."

"Which combined with the end of the blockade of New Zealand by the Communists is surely a sign most blessed for the faithful subjects of the Emperor."

"Yes."

"Then by St Sanctan's commitment will we commit to ensuring the blessings of the Lord continue to spread for His Imperial Majesty. I trust you have additional ideals in this meeting then simply the exchange of blessings?"

"Yes. The Emperor wants you to head to the Papal States personally to ask of the Pope a reinforced treatry on our holy freindship. He would especilly like to ensure in links of trade, especilly in their wine and our cloths to be forth well."

"The Emperor wants but not sent a letter?"

"The Emperor is rather busy, especilly in talk with company executives over the mining rights in Newfoundland of iron and petroleum, while observing the MOGA's request for more land of oil and gas."

"Let while I heed greatly the mission to speak to visit Rome... there is reason why the Emperor, ever watchful of his subjects, would send I to Rome instead of having a letter set forth to Rome?"

"In case you may have noted yourself our relations must heal. The Emperor took my advise that it would be best to set the Archbishop of Mann to conduct in holy diplomacy. Let the Prince Bishop of Peel speak to the Bishop of Rome."

"Let God's speak to God's as Caeser's speak to Caeser's?"

"Possibly. As well as words of healing and enshrining our links we must also set forth the time for the state visit and on further considerations on issue of ensuring a united stance against piracy."

"Of course. I will take heed of the mission. I will set forth to Rome."

"I booked you a Imperial Jet to take you to Rome. Take it and commence your quest for the Empire."

"...and God."

"Of course. The Empire and God."

"Then I will take heed. I give my sorry but I am in need to prepare most urgent. Hence I suggest you make haste to the Emperor and tell him that the quest has been taken."

"I will. God bless your duty."

"By His Imperial Majesty I thank you. Good day."

As the Baron stated "good day" in responce to the Bishop's farewell, he was on his way of the Bishop's office, walking around in observation of the garden... noticing that it had went from cloady but sunny sky to rain. Typical Manx weather...

 

[Jehoshua]

ooc: A trade agreement has already been reached between the Papal States and The Imperium of Mann iirc. If that is not the case, then its a matter of "There has always been a trade agreement between Mann and the Papacy".

 

[Ailedhoo]

ooc: A trade agreement has already been reached between the Papal States and The Imperium of Mann iirc. If that is not the case, then its a matter of "There has always been a trade agreement between Mann and the Papacy".

OOC: oops... well in that case the Prince Bishop of Peel will come to chat on issues of the state visit, healing damage from the land crisis and other random stuff.

 

[filli_noctus]

In public Sir Benjamin Michaels was the high flying CEO of CitiBarclayMorgan, one of the worlds largest investment banks. Within the Grand Lodge of the Fraternal Order, however, he was known simply as Brother Aquinas.

As he entered the lodge he nodded to the doorman and exchanged his coat and jacket for the formal robes of the Order. He exchanged greetings with other members as he walked through the Grand Chamber where some two-bit nation was exhibiting their culture to anyone who was interested - the weather was good so the hall was pretty empty. Sir Benjamin didn't see the point of encouraging these demonstrations but it was policy so he just tried to ignore them as he went past.

At the back of the Grand Chamber was a small, unassuming door with a linoleum floored stairwell behind it that went down to the lower levels where the kitchen, staff room, cellars and storerooms were located. He slipped through the door and quickly descended, his shoes making little 'click, click' noises as they made contact with the cheap plastic covering the corners of each step.
At the bottom of the stairwell the air was cool and slightly damp. The lights overhead flickered slightly and the floor was peeling back at the corners. It was a far cry from the opulence of the Grand Chamber or the lavish conference facilities in the rear of the Lodge.
Half way down the corridor Benjamin stopped by a door, no different from the others. Flaking blue paint revealed a yellowing undercoat and, in places, the bare chipboard underneath. A stainless steel handle dulled with age and poor maintenance and a simple key hole, scuffed around the edge. Unlike the other doors, though, no key existed to go in the keyhole.
Casting a quick glance back up the corridor Benjamin stuck his thumb in his mouth briefly and then gripped the handle just so. A capillary tube drew the saliva sample into the mechanism for DNA analysis. Once his identity was verified the handle vibrated silently and Benjamin was permitted entrance.

The room beyond was exactly what one would expect of a room in its' location in a building, but entirely out of character for one with such sophisticated security. The concrete walls were bare, the floor was more cheap lino and around the sides of the room were stacks and racks of folding chairs and tables. It would take a detailed study of the buildings plans to realise that this room was about a foot smaller in its' horizontal dimensions than it should be, the sound proofing has to go somewhere after all.

The rest of the Supreme Council were already assembled, sat on folding chairs around a pair of folding tables that had been pushed together. Anyone who didn't know better could easily mistake the group for a village fete planning committee as opposed to a gathering of some of the wealthiest and most powerful men on the planet.
"Nice of you to finally join us, Brother Aquinas," said the Grand Master of the Order, hamming up the sarcasm as usual, "since you're already standing you may as well tell us about the Australian situation."
"Very well, Grand Master," replied Sir Benjamin, "as expected the Namibians have lifted their blockade in the face of international pressure. Given their governments history of being all bark and no bite we don't expect any military action from their side, although they are likely to try and expand their Australian territories further."
"What of New Zealand?" enquired the Grand Master
"The correspondence they recently released contains a number of subtle threats should the Namibians continue to expand in Australia. Given that King Edward and his government have demonstrated a certain acceptance of Theodore Roosevelt's mantra of 'talk softly and carry a big stick' it seems likely they will declare war on Namibia if they continue to expand but it will take a while unless further provocations occur. I suggest we keep a close eye on the situation."
"Good, now, Brother Mandela, what of the situation in Singapore."
"Hard to tell," responded Brother Mandela - Benjamin didn't know him very well personally, his real name was Jorge Alonso and he was founder of a global telecoms firm, "Singapore have offered peace on reasonable terms but given past behaviour I am unconvinced that Malay will accept unless they retain control of captured territories, however with no communication from the Malay government yet it is hard to judge their intentions in the matter."
"We'll have to keep an eye on that situation as well then." summed up the Grand Master, "onto less important matters then. Oh, Ben, could you run up to the Grand Chamber and steal a plate of those eclairs the Parisians brought, they're pretty good."

 

[NinjaCow64]

A little of this here, a little bit their... Perfecto!
/me about 50 rainbow-colored kittens come walking out.
It's much easier doing it when someone in our organization already tried it. And succeeded...after 2000 some differnent tries...hey, I didn't say we were the most Moral of organizations, just that we try to secure what threats we have contained in order to protect the earth. This does mean researching these threats. Some of our encountered threats are actually now respectable agents...those are the threats that definately aren't Keter Level or elucid level...at least elucid ones don't as a rule break the brain. Keter objects...some of them defy the Very laws of physics...also those who do join and visit HQ, it's a cup of coffee. No asking for cups of joe. Their is a reason the coffee machine has a very-well armed gaurd assigned to gaurd IT. Unless your a vampire, you will not be needing what it considers a cup of joe, which if you were a vampire, that would be the last thing you were thinking about as you either be trying to escape, insane to the extreme or are Zoro from one piece...as for you to accidentally find HQ requires one to REALLY get lost. If your on purpose here, and not to turn your self in...we will gladly beat you up in that fight you wanted. We have the men, and our top agents...well, have fun finding out we count memetic kill as a method of death. If turning yourself in, thank you in advance.
We are half tempted to declare Doctor perfect a SCP.

Mr Perfect: It's Mr Perfect thank you very much. And I wanted a part in making the rainbow kittens.

...

SCREW THAT, I'LL MAKE A BETTER VERSION!!! *slams down a lever and lots of electricity flies everywhere. A hatch opens and a perfectly black and white kitten walks out, like in one of those movies. Also, when it meows it doesn't make any sound, it produces one of those panels that they used in those black and white movies that says "Meow." D'awwwwwwww.*

Mr Perfect: Since when did you become the Narrator Cathisis?

Cathisis: I didn't.

Mr Perfect: Right. Anyway, I wasn't in your base we were fighting in Malta. Unless you think that the Crusader's parliment room is your base now, but that would a bad idea because...

ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO US!!!

No, don't worry, we're just joking. But calling me an SCP object when I haven't even demonstrated my anonmalous properties yet is just rude. And seriously, this isn't the year 20██ anymore. The existance of the SCP Foundation is common knowledge and anonmolous objects are EVERYWHERE. Unless you want to take half the world's leader's hostage there is no way you're going to Secure, Contain or Protect anything. So here's a compromise. Ignore the objects that don't pose a threat to anyone, like me or my fellow ministers. Contain your Keters, your dangerous Eucilids and your world destabilizing Safes, but don't threaten us.

Yoshi Bovine: Want me to TL;DR Spamsu?

Kenji Bovine: No, I will son. TL;DR NO SPAMSU!!!

TL;DR: Don't kidnap any of our ministers and lock them in laboratories otherwise you will have hell to pay.

 

[Nintz]

Lord Ghirahim [Singapore]:

-Malaysia the four territories it has occupied, complete with population and Industry
-Pay 5 gold to compensate Singapore for the civilians killed.
-Malaysia will be able to keep the resources it harvested from the occupied zones this turn.
-Malaysia's most senior military officer comes over to Lord Ghirahim's place every week for a year for movie night.
-Singapore and Malaysia will ink a 5-year Non Aggression Pact

I could go into a long-winded explanation of why I am utterly unable to do as you ask of me. Namely, there is the fact that your nation controls territories literally right next door to my own. And then there is that we both represent the (more or less) same exact group of people. But, above all, I simply cannot stand rainbows. Your continued transgressions against my eyesight must be made to pay. I am sorry. We will spare the kittens at least.

OOC: If I agree to a peace, my nation is finished. Two major powers CANNOT exist peacefully that close to each other. It just doesn't work.

 

[Daedwartin]

Mr Perfect: It's Mr Perfect thank you very much. And I wanted a part in making the rainbow kittens.

...

SCREW THAT, I'LL MAKE A BETTER VERSION!!! *slams down a lever and lots of electricity flies everywhere. A hatch opens and a perfectly black and white kitten walks out, like in one of those movies. Also, when it meows it doesn't make any sound, it produces one of those panels that they used in those black and white movies that says "Meow." D'awwwwwwww.*

Mr Perfect: Since when did you become the Narrator Cathisis?

Cathisis: I didn't.

Mr Perfect: Right. Anyway, I wasn't in your base we were fighting in Malta. Unless you think that the Crusader's parliment room is your base now, but that would a bad idea because...

ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO US!!!

No, don't worry, we're just joking. But calling me an SCP object when I haven't even demonstrated my anonmalous properties yet is just rude. And seriously, this isn't the year 20██ anymore. The existance of the SCP Foundation is common knowledge and anonmolous objects are EVERYWHERE. Unless you want to take half the world's leader's hostage there is no way you're going to Secure, Contain or Protect anything. So here's a compromise. Ignore the objects that don't pose a threat to anyone, like me or my fellow ministers. Contain your Keters, your dangerous Eucilids and your world destabilizing Safes, but don't threaten us.

Yoshi Bovine: Want me to TL;DR Spamsu?

Kenji Bovine: No, I will son. TL;DR NO SPAMSU!!!

TL;DR: Don't kidnap any of our ministers and lock them in laboratories otherwise you will have hell to pay.

it actually just means he can be enough of a threat to attract our attention. We don't lock all of them up. Hence why we have that coffee machine in HQ. you want a beverage, it will get you it...hence the gaurd. We honestly would just write up a phsycological report and a small report on him and his history and that's it...he would not be imprisoned...unless he did something really really bad.

 

[Sonereal]

It would help if you just quoted relevant parts, instead of the gigantic wall of spam. No reason my eyes have to acknowledge the same thing twice on one page.

 

[Tani Coyote]

Order lock in about 48 hours, folks.

Ghirahim [Singapore]:

And then there is that we both represent the (more or less) same exact group of people.

The Singaporeans find offense at this notion! Whereas your government tightly controls its economy and grants its people enormous social freedom, mine minimally regulates the economy and rules subjects' personal lives with an iron fist!

But, above all, I simply cannot stand rainbows. Your continued transgressions against my eyesight must be made to pay. I am sorry. We will spare the kittens at least.

Very well then, Malay! Meet me on the field of battle!

OOC: If I agree to a peace, my nation is finished. Two major powers CANNOT exist peacefully that close to each other. It just doesn't work.

OOC:

France and Britain?

===Minor Power Responses===

Unto Malaysia:

Spike [Guangdong]: Friendship is magic! Also isn't embargo worthy. Embargoed! Guangdong's also sent a unit of raw materials to Singapore to assist in pushing back Malaysian forces.

Silver [India]: I really don't think bashing skulls in is the best course of action... embargo.

Sonic [France]: With the good Pope's permission, France'll be issuin' an embargo on you now.

Ashworth [Manila]: I may be hotheaded, but even I don't declare war fer no good reason! Embargoed.

 

[Patriotic_Fool]

Romney's Response unto Malaysia's Aggression

I call for all my client states, and my State in particular, to embargo Malaysia.

 

[Patchy]

Tropico's Response to the Malaysian Aggression​

We condemn the invasion and as General Secretary we call on all members of the UN to embargo Malaysia along with us.

 

[Sonereal]

Trade will resume, as usual, with Malaysia.

 

[Ailedhoo]

The Imperium will remain in trade with Malaysia. We will sell military supplies to both sides.

 

[Sonereal]

Algeria finds IoM conduct in this matter very suspect in regards to its war profiteering. The IoM should at least attempt discretion. Or, at the very least, appear trustworthy.

 

[Ailedhoo]

Algeria finds IoM conduct in this matter very suspect in regards to its war profiteering. The IoM should at least attempt discretion. Or, at the very least, appear trustworthy.

We are attempting to aid the ecomony via trade. We like to be honest in our trade and hence we do not wish to favour one side over the other. We are simply doing the right to buisness.

 

[Sonereal]

We are attempting to aid the ecomony via trade. We like to be honest in our trade and hence we do not wish to favour one side over the other. We are simply doing the right to buisness.

Aid your economy by selling consumer goods and products consumers want. If your people are so destitute that their only salvation is to work the assembly lines putting together guns, tanks, and planes, none of which they can buy themselves with their income, your city-state should reconsider its economic standing. The flagrant selling of arms to two sides of a conflict represents nothing less than intentional dishonesty on part of your government, a deterioration of international peace, and serves as the potential for escalation of a conflict should these mass arm sales fall into the hands of possible war criminals.

 

[Patriotic_Fool]

Romney agrees with Algeria. While we all 3 may be trading partners, making money over the death and suffering of others is appalling.

Trust me, I love money.

 

[NinjaCow64]

OOC: If I agree to a peace, my nation is finished. Two major powers CANNOT exist peacefully that close to each other. It just doesn't work.

OCC: Um, me and Sinai?

IC: Cathisis: Oppa Embargo Time!

Weeeeeeeeeeee, Embargo Malayasia!

Oppa Embargo Time!

 

[JohannaK]

The Shimazu clan has made public its plans of expansion for this year. Preparations have been made and the first operations have been launched, acquiring after a few hours control of ancient Edo, that is Tokyo.

And with the control over Osaka, Kyoto and Tokyo, Shimazu Satake-sama has proclaimed the Empire of Japan restablished.

Next year the official documents will be published with the composition and political structure of the Empire.