Names for Australia

[Squonk]

Australia lacks everything, f.e. animals that wouldn't kill you, or people with the same characteristics. It lacks lands outside, having no neighbours (New Zealand doesn't count, does it), and waters inside, being mostly desert. It even lacks population, being entire continent of 25 milion people, while Eurasia has several bilions. But I guess one can blame the fauna and Kyle Sandilands for that.

But Australia also lacks imagination.
Look at Australian provinces names:

Western Australia. Duh.
Northern Territory. Duh.
South Australia. Duh.
New South Wales. A rip-off, and not a good one.
Queenland. Will have to be changed while the feudal regime is overthrown.
Victoria. Will have to be changed when the feudal regime is overthrown.

Tasmania is fine. But it's an island, so it doesn't count.

Of course Australians have imagination. But my idea is that they are hiding from the local animals somewhere in isolated cities, and defend themselves from constant onslaught of koalae in the trees, platypi in water, and Kylie Minogue in the air.
Thus they never explored the land, and didn't manage to properly name their provinces for centuries since their discovery.

Thus hearby, I announce a competition for the best idea for new, proper names of Australian provinces that we'll notify the Australian goverment once we reach a suitable decision.

 

[NovaKart]

Wasn’t it called the Antipodes? Maybe in convict settlement days they weren’t inspired to come up with interesting names. Tasmania is better than Van Diemen’s Land. Australia is pretty close to Papua New Guinea and East Timor.

 

[Kyriakos]

Lair of the Bunyip would be a better name.

 

[Ferocitus]

Thus hearby, I announce a competition for the best idea for new, proper names of Australian provinces that we'll notify the Australian goverment once we reach a suitable decision.

British Penal Colony.
British Slaughterhouse.
British Nuclear Testing Ground.
Yankee Puppet.

 

[caketastydelish]

The Land Down Under.

Kangaroville.

 

[amadeus]

Victoria. Will have to be changed when the feudal regime is overthrown.

Why? We never changed the names of Georgia or Charleston.

 

[r16]

oh , come on what did Kylie Minogue do to you ?

 

[Sofista]

Northern Territory = Dundeeland, after its most famous son.

 

[Valka D'Ur]

Tasmania is better than Van Diemen’s Land.

Interesting. A couple of lines in one of the songs sung by The Irish Rovers, "Black Velvet Band", make reference to this name. The song is about a man who meets a woman in a bar, she frames him for theft, and he's sentenced to 7 years in "Van Dieman's Land."

Spoiler Black Velvet Band :

EDIT: According to a couple of the comments on this page, the song itself is an old one dating back a couple of centuries or so, and the Irish Rovers recorded it in the '60s. I'm not sure of the years this place served as a penal colony (could look it up, but it's after 4 am and I'm too lazy right now).

This is a TIL moment.


As for a new name... I guess the obvious suggestion would be for these boringly-named regions to rename themselves after something historically significant, but of course that would cause problems because nobody, especially nowadays, can agree on what is both historically significant and not associated with anyone who committed some kind of atrocity.

There are opinions on opposite ends of the spectrum in Canada, for instance (and I don't just mean the "erase John A. Macdonald's existence from our history" vs "he was our first PM, leave his statues alone!" controversy). There are some native groups who want all the cities to change to indigenous names, and other groups who don't think it should be legal for non-natives to use any native words.

Maybe "north" and "south", etc. really are the best compromise. It may be boring, but it's not offensive.

 

[IglooDame]

Australia, where the inhabitants refer to varieties of their favorite beverage by the colors of the cans: red, green, and blue. Good luck with the imagination thing.

 

[really]

The Lost Continent.
The Last Continent.
XXXX.

 

[elmurcis]

Wildsouthland; Fiftywaystodieland; Burnistana; Bigaustria; Notyetantarctica; Bathursthomeland (just what comes in mind.. might make no sense as English isn't native language )

 

[Traitorfish]

Western Australia, South Australia, North Australia, East Australia, Other East Australia, Yet More East Australia, Mini-Australia.

 

[Arwon]

They're states not provinces, and going to a different settler colonial name seems kind of pointless.

There's some indigenous names for cities with some currency currently, but it's tricky because the traditional owners had different names for the same areas and those areas don't necessarily cover the whole city. Even in places with a single nation, like Adelaide with the Kaurna, I'm not sure were known by a single name prior to invasion. Tarndanya is the name for the area around Adelaide proper.

Some examples with some activist currency are Naarm for Melbourne (refers to Port Phillip Bay) and Mianjin or Miguntyun for Brisbane.

For things as big as states you're not going to get agreement on names, there's too many different languages and national groups.

 

[Ferocitus]

They're states not provinces, and going to a different settler colonial name seems kind of pointless.

There's some indigenous names for cities with some currency currently, but it's tricky because the traditional owners had different names for the same areas and those areas don't necessarily cover the whole city. Some examples with some currency are Naarm for Melbourne (refers to Port Phillip Bay) and Mianjin or Miguntyun for Brisbane.

For things as big as states you're not going to get agreement on names, there's too many different languages and national groups,

Maybe. But Bradmania (one of many serious real suggestions) is ugly in all languages.

 

[Valka D'Ur]

Australiaey McAustraliaface (add North, South, East, West, Middle, etc. as may apply).

(sarcasm, obviously; renaming places tends to be very politically contentious these days)

 

[really]

Summer Bay.

 

[Ferocitus]

Summer Bay.

Just one of the exciting geographic features of Lake Disappointment, South of Krakatoa.

 

[Catharsis]

Change South Australia to "Woo! South Australia!"


Link to video.

 

[yung.carl.jung]

Australia, where the inhabitants refer to varieties of their favorite beverage by the colors of the cans: red, green, and blue. Good luck with the imagination thing.

This is the most interesting fact I have ever heard about Australians. Which color tastes best?

 

[Ferocitus]

This is the most interesting fact I have ever heard about Australians. Which color tastes best?

Green, in a bottle.

 

[IglooDame]

This is the most interesting fact I have ever heard about Australians. Which color tastes best?

Mindful that I'm going off of some not-very-sober visits over 25yrs ago... Victoria Bitter is the green one, Fosters is blue, I don't recall which one is red. I was more fond of Fosters, but ended up drinking Steinlager or Kirin Icihiban if either was available.