Halp! Great Britain revolted so now we are stuck on our starting island! To balance we demand 10000000000000000000000 super spaceships for balance because fc is clearly playing favorites.
Also Blackjackandhookeristan is invading Elves because they are space Elves now and we demand a monopoly of Elves so our super satelite lazers are blowing up the place.
Also Cathulu is spamming Ugunda with lolcats
Also the Kingdom of Norton Anti-Virus is so pissed that they didn't get any clay so they downloaded virusesPutins armies into South Korea and Japan so they have all the clay there.
Also North Korea is ruled by your favorite trio of generic dictators, the Ill family!!! Democratic Korea is best Korea (because powergaming lol).
The Grand Kingdom of Porpoises announces it's existence. The insufficiently moist humans are required to pay our Lord High Most Grand Poobah twelvety billion if they wish to trade by sea. Failure to do so will result in your ships being sunk and your sailors taken to aetharium's to perform tricks for our citizen's amusement.
Close your gates, fortify your walls and hide your wives, because the Golden Horde is coming. Just to warn you, we are many, we are on horseback and we have bows. And many, many arrows. While you are reading this, our invasion has begun in Ireland.
"Newfoundland Command to NV Pogey-Hog, do you read me?"
"We read you command. We have made landfall on Cape Breton."
"Good. You now have leave to open your mission documents."
Inside the command deck colossal mechanical warrior, Tom unsealed a metal tube, and pulled out a rolled sheet of paper. He scanned the document intently.
"My God."
"God? Not after It happened. You have your orders, Mr. Rideout."
The radio was silent for a moment.
"Understood."
On the northern shores of Cape Breton Island, the Pogey-Hog set out, the walking leviathan of steel cracking the ground beneath it with its thunderous strides. Hundreds of kilometers away, Premier Smallwood stood alongside Lieutenant Williams. Doctor Squires put down his phone.
"The orders are opened?"
"They are."
"Then it's in Captain Tobin's hands now. Should he succeed, the Crystal Codex will be recovered, and we can begin to restore order."
"Order..." Williams mused, "It's been so long since that existed."
"Not since It happened." Intuned Smallwood.
"Must we always tiptoe around talking about the Causality Collapse?"
Williams and Smallwood gave Doctor Squires a deadly glare. The doctor swallowed nervously, and corrected himself.
"Yeah... I mean... yeah. Before It happened.
Back on Cape Breton Island, Captain Tobin maintained a manic grin.
"Tommy m'bye, whassanewsere?"
"We're setting out immediately for the interior. Our objective, the Crystal Codex, was lost in the depths of Bras d'Or Lake. Our mission is to recover the item and then proceed to the next phase of our orders."
"G'wan bye! An' what are we gettin' at to spot us the wee doodly?"
"Geiger Counters."
"Dem's radioactive? Oh hell me nerves!"
"We've carried sufficient shielding to carry it on board."
"Ah, right y'are Tommy! Let's get de ol' Pogey-Hog along, eh?"
"There may be armed resistance from the local population."
"Dey's mighty rimmed from when It happened, ain't'ey?"
"We don't yet know, but they did resist our landing."
"Well, let's give'em a bit o the ol' battle hymn den! Spook the wee scopies outtadaway!"
The NV Pogey Hog rose to a full standing position, its metal head casting a glaring spotlight on the land around it. Massive, tinny speakers activated, and the Last Gasp of Newfoundland set out, music blaring.
"Hey, did you find the can opener we brought on the trip?"
"Ok."
"Ah, thank god, now we can prevent this batch of tourist from dying!"
The two Italians saves a couple of IOT nuclear soldiers from a hot death, and in doing so, got the latters to quit their jobs and join the Neo-Italy Party.
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