I was planning to wait to my 6000th post before putting up anything dramatic, but at the 1-2 posts a day I've been averaging, its not gonna happen soon enough. Despite a seemingly negative tone I intend this post in a postive way.
When first came to CFC I was 15½ years old, sick as hell with lyme, shy (though strangely bold and friendly) a democratic hack, and a new-age zealot. Much has changed. One of those changes is that civfanatics hasn't. The others are that I'm 18, much healthier, far less zealous, far more outgoing (still friendly and bold to boot).
Like many before veterans before me, I'm "done" with Civfanatics off topic. Oh, I'll be here and there, maybe vote in the occasional poll. But officially I'm finished with off-topic.
Off topic here has been an amazing ride. Fast paced debate from people across the world and even here at home has greatly broadened my perspective of the world. But it wasn't soon after I recognized the patterns and the lack of change. New people came and old people went, but it was the same. Some people changed, the rest didn't. Moderators came and retired. Still nothing changed. At this point following OT is a dying addiction in my heart. Intellectually I've learned as much as I will.
Every day, I type "civf" and then hit the down arrow and then "enter". Then I click user CP. I click on my subscribed threads (the ones I post in) and sometimes add a useless comment. Then I click "off topic" from the thread and scan the list and see hardly anything interesting that hasn't been covered. (digression: I was seeing repeats of thread themes since 2003, my first full year here, and I still do. I've probably seen about 5 waves of regulars, whose membership changes only slightly from each previous one. Each wave gets fed up with the debate and posts something in site feedback... and no one in the group or in charge of the group acts to change it). After seeing nothing of interest I close the window. A few hours later I repeat the process.
Heh, I remember the time when I actually tried to become a moderator here for the civ3 section. I would post everywhere I could to help people out. At one point my "reputation" had become such that I had a thread with "Hygro" and "help" in the title. Then Moonsinger got the job
I was also proud when I was maybe the 40th biggest poster. Hopefully I've fallen off the second page.
I contend that the collective intelligence here in OT is tremendous. But the level of debate just doesn't add up. I'm more than guilty--I'm a great writer, a great reasoner, a great debator. But did I shine here? HELL NO! Though I worked at a few debates on a few topics, I rarely applied myself. I'm sure for many of you its the same. Before writing up this thread I came up with what I'd write--the thought-version was many times more eloquent than this could hope to be. I'm about to hit the post button and I don't even know if its coherent
. But that's part of the problem with us as a group.
But even if the debate did add up to your intelligence, so what? It wouldn't change much. It's funny, so many of us, as I was guilty for the year and some here, complain about being stuck to specific political parties, but in the end are such horrendous party hacks. You
probably don't know who you are
I really do love you all. Despite my jaded tone, its true. You all helped me grow in so many ways. One big way other than accumulating perspectives was legitimizing my right to express my spirituality, in the intellectual forum.
If there's one thing I learned in my most recent spiritual understanding, is that places like civfanatics become intellectually stagnating. At first we grow and gain much. But once you've been here long enough you know who is going to post in what thread, who is going to say what, and who is going to mean what.
Of course, civ 4 is coming around so I can't just jettison the site from my life, but off topic is through.
So in all, thank you. Thank you for what you've given me.
Two P.S's: Moderators, please don't move this into the official coming and going thread. It's more of an address to offtopic people than an announcement that I'm done.
Moderator Action: Pls take up issues like this thru PMs, and not publicly. You know better. - KD
PS - Probably best thru TF.