He earned himself a front-page photo on the BBC website with his latest rally, that's what.
Random Rants ΟΔ: broken record
- Thread starter Takhisis
- Start date
-
- Tags
- saudi arabia
- Status
tjs282
Stone \ Cold / Fish
Brexit thread is that way --->
MagisterCultuum
Great Sage
Yeah, I could tell very early on that he has a tendency to be controlling, judgemental, and humorless.
She does not have anything left to steal.
A red flag I only discovered less than 2 months ago was that when they got married he paid off her student loans on the condition that she transfer all her savings (which were less than her debts) into his bank account and close all her credit cards, savings accounts, and checking accounts. He gave her a joint credit card and a check book that still has his ex-wife's name on it. He careful tracks what she spends on those and complains if she pays too much. (He likes to buy groceries at ALDIs and clothes at thrift stores, and considers going to Kroger or a department store wasteful.)
(I first found this out after I drove to her side of town to take her to her chiropractor, she she bought us lunch and then got a few groceries on the way home. I thought it was odd that she paid for everything in cash, which she said is because she would rather he not know how much she spent.)
Over the summer while she was pregnant he limited her mobility by saying it was not safe for her to drive her car as its air conditioner was malfunctioning.
Before they got married he strongly pressured her to quit her job and rely only on his income. (She was working as a middle school French teacher whose horribly behaved students were really stressing her out and threatening her mental health as well.)
He had her doing chores around his house like a maid within the first couple months of their relationship.
Does your community have a women's shelter or any other agencies that help abused women? I haven't been following this, so I don't know what else you've posted about this situation, but this is flat-out domestic abuse. It doesn't matter if he's physically hit her or if it's this financial imprisonment he's got her in along with the emotional and verbal abuse. She needs to be out of that situation NOW.
JohannaK
Heroically Clueless
No doubt. But she is under treatment in a psychiatric institution. I have no idea if legally it changes anything, but I could see a judge or whomever dismissing the case on the basis of her state, which would be most distressful because she clearly needs to be rid of this man.
This is clearly what can happen in a case like this. Someone in a mental institution or in advanced psychiatric care will usually need an advocate or someone capable of making decisions for them as they are usually deemed to be "incapable of understanding" the situation, or it is assumed by the courts that the person is of diminished capacity due to their illness/medication regimen.
But in this case, it may be the husband who would be considered the advocate, leaving her up the proverbial creek. It would probably take legal action from a friend or relative to acquire Power of Attorney and wrest control away from the husband. Sadly, it's usually the spouse that the courts recognize to make the decisions when someone is institutionalized, whether they are misguided or not.
Silurian
Deity
- Joined
- Jan 5, 2010
- Messages
- 7,567
Would a court get involved anyway, is coercive control illegal in the USA.
It only became illegal recently here in the UK.
That's why I suggested the help of a woman's group.
GoodSarmatian
Jokerfied Western Male
- Joined
- Apr 25, 2006
- Messages
- 9,408
Oleaginous. First new English word I've learned in years.
Synobun
Deity
- Joined
- Nov 19, 2006
- Messages
- 24,884
You're welcome.
No smiles allowed here, sire!
Broken_Erika
Play with me.
![[pimp]](/images/smilies/pimp.gif "Pimp [pimp]")
Zkribbler
Deity
rich in, covered with, or producing oil; oily or greasy.
exaggeratedly and distastefully complimentary; obsequious.
Oooh, oooh:
Suioleaginous = Trump-like
MagisterCultuum
Great Sage
My sister sounded much better when I talked to her on the phone today, although not quite healthy yet.
She was still saying that she believes her husband deeply loves her wants what is best for her, but admitted that the way he communicates can come across as abusive even though she is sure that is not his intent.
She said that at a family reunion a few months ago one of his cousins kept trying to pry into the details of their relationship and commented that it sounded like abuse. Right after that her father in law gave her some cash to hide and hold on to in case there is an emergency and she has to leave.
(Her husband's father looks and sounds eerily similar to her husband, but their personalities could not be more different. He is way more relaxed, personable, and left a good impression on everyone including me. I have not met any of them, but my sister said she also gets along very well with her husband's stepmother and the children and grandchildren they raised together apart from his biological mother.)
She said her mother in law also commented a couple times that the way her son was talking to her seemed abusive, but the way her mother-in-law communicates is only marginally better. They both yell too much and get upset with my sister for not speaking up when they ask questions and demand prompt and direct answers. She said that she appreciates having a relative around to help but that of all his relatives his mother is the one she would least want have to stay with them. Her mother-in-law gets upset whenever my sister expresses herself in ways she considers insufficiently respectful, and says she needs to honor their family's privacy by not discussing personal matters with outsiders and should not even tell them any information they do not need to know.
(I had a bad initial feeling about her mother in law too, and learned today that she was very upset with how disrespectful I had been by giving my honest opinion on the quality of her cooking.)
Apparently her husband got quite mad at her for saying she would be more comfortable if his father was the one staying with them.
His father and mother have not gotten along with each other well at all for decades, but the fact that they acted friendly when the baby was around made her hopeful that she could still form a happy family.
Her husband also has gotten upset with her for using her computer. She said this was probably because looking at a screen late at night when one already has trouble sleeping is not good sleep hygiene, and that most of the times she got online were at night because she feels too busy during the day. When I pressed though she said he does not seem to like her being online any time of day. She just reminded me that he is a bit of a Luddite who personally prefers using physical books over modern technology whenever possible. This still strikes me as an abusers way to cut her off from outside help.
One of the things that was bothering my (very religious) sister the most was that her husband said he used to consider himself a born again christian but is not sure if he believes in God at all any more.
My dad spoke with someone from the mental hospital today about her lab work. He kept thinking that the problem might just be her thyroid level (my father himself was was institutionalized there for what seemed like a manic episode but ended up being caused by his Hashimoto's Thyroidosis, and her thyroid hormone levels have been off in the past), but the tests rule that out. We were told that all of her tests were perfectly normal for a new mother (meaning some hormone levels were fluctuating wildly but the thyroid and everything else were as they should be.) She said problems like hers are normal and expected after a pregnancy when the mother has a history of manic episodes. She said that going forward we need to make sure that she does not stop taking her medications. When I mentioned a few of the things her husband said to her yesterday, she said we need to share all that with the social worker who should be calling us tomorrow.
She was still saying that she believes her husband deeply loves her wants what is best for her, but admitted that the way he communicates can come across as abusive even though she is sure that is not his intent.
She said that at a family reunion a few months ago one of his cousins kept trying to pry into the details of their relationship and commented that it sounded like abuse. Right after that her father in law gave her some cash to hide and hold on to in case there is an emergency and she has to leave.
(Her husband's father looks and sounds eerily similar to her husband, but their personalities could not be more different. He is way more relaxed, personable, and left a good impression on everyone including me. I have not met any of them, but my sister said she also gets along very well with her husband's stepmother and the children and grandchildren they raised together apart from his biological mother.)
She said her mother in law also commented a couple times that the way her son was talking to her seemed abusive, but the way her mother-in-law communicates is only marginally better. They both yell too much and get upset with my sister for not speaking up when they ask questions and demand prompt and direct answers. She said that she appreciates having a relative around to help but that of all his relatives his mother is the one she would least want have to stay with them. Her mother-in-law gets upset whenever my sister expresses herself in ways she considers insufficiently respectful, and says she needs to honor their family's privacy by not discussing personal matters with outsiders and should not even tell them any information they do not need to know.
(I had a bad initial feeling about her mother in law too, and learned today that she was very upset with how disrespectful I had been by giving my honest opinion on the quality of her cooking.)
Apparently her husband got quite mad at her for saying she would be more comfortable if his father was the one staying with them.
His father and mother have not gotten along with each other well at all for decades, but the fact that they acted friendly when the baby was around made her hopeful that she could still form a happy family.
Her husband also has gotten upset with her for using her computer. She said this was probably because looking at a screen late at night when one already has trouble sleeping is not good sleep hygiene, and that most of the times she got online were at night because she feels too busy during the day. When I pressed though she said he does not seem to like her being online any time of day. She just reminded me that he is a bit of a Luddite who personally prefers using physical books over modern technology whenever possible. This still strikes me as an abusers way to cut her off from outside help.
One of the things that was bothering my (very religious) sister the most was that her husband said he used to consider himself a born again christian but is not sure if he believes in God at all any more.
My dad spoke with someone from the mental hospital today about her lab work. He kept thinking that the problem might just be her thyroid level (my father himself was was institutionalized there for what seemed like a manic episode but ended up being caused by his Hashimoto's Thyroidosis, and her thyroid hormone levels have been off in the past), but the tests rule that out. We were told that all of her tests were perfectly normal for a new mother (meaning some hormone levels were fluctuating wildly but the thyroid and everything else were as they should be.) She said problems like hers are normal and expected after a pregnancy when the mother has a history of manic episodes. She said that going forward we need to make sure that she does not stop taking her medications. When I mentioned a few of the things her husband said to her yesterday, she said we need to share all that with the social worker who should be calling us tomorrow.
I have to agree with Lemon. If it's too much or too hard to say out loud I suggest you copy and paste your last few messages on the subject. They are quite candid and legible.
Of Latinate origin, no less.
- Status
Similar threads
- Locked
- Locked
