Synobun
Deity
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I agree. I found the vanilla UI to be the best out of the choices available. No idea why SkyUI is so lauded.
Random Rants ΟΔ: broken record
- Thread starter Takhisis
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I agree. I found the vanilla UI to be the best out of the choices available. No idea why SkyUI is so lauded.
Broken_Erika
Play with me.
All i look for is something that allows me to view the contents of a container by category. Not all one mashed up list that looks straight outta Morrowind.
Snerk
Smeghead
Meh, I'm getting used to it.
yung.carl.jung
Hey Bird! I'm Morose & Lugubrious
not that I know
I still thinks it is a significant improvement over the base UI. I agree it's pretty ****** though, but TES almost always had bad menus.
MagisterCultuum
Great Sage
I just spoke to my sister again.
She said they told them that she will probably be going home tomorrow after we have our 2pm conference call with her and her case worker.
She seemed to think that her husband would be on the call too, but last time she spoke with him he knew nothing about it. He just thought he would be picking her up later that afternoon.
When she spoke on the phone with her husband today he again accused her of being irresponsible and disrespectful to his mother.
He told her that she needs to prove to his mother than she is capable of being a responsible mother, or else he will let the grandmother take their little girl back with her to Michigan (from here is Georgia, that is at least a 13 hour drive) where my sister cannot see her.
Her mother-in-law's idea of being a responsible mother seems to focused on promptly performing a bunch of chores that no one ever bothered doing at our house, like making sure the beds are neatly made up every morning. She insists on my sister cleaning the whole house more thoroughly on a daily basis than anyone in our home ever did even monthly.
She tends not to be given much advanced warning about any chores she must do. If my sister hesitates in doing a chore that she does not really think needed to be done then the mother-in-law will do it herself and then demand gratitude.
She also gives my sister long lists of names of people (most of whom my sister cannot remember ever meeting) to whom she must hand-write personalized 'thank you' notes.
On top of this she insists that the baby needs to be fed 8 times a day at exactly 3 hours intervals, regardless of whether the baby seems hungry or whether my sister has gotten any sleep after being awakened for the previous feeding.
She said they told them that she will probably be going home tomorrow after we have our 2pm conference call with her and her case worker.
She seemed to think that her husband would be on the call too, but last time she spoke with him he knew nothing about it. He just thought he would be picking her up later that afternoon.
When she spoke on the phone with her husband today he again accused her of being irresponsible and disrespectful to his mother.
He told her that she needs to prove to his mother than she is capable of being a responsible mother, or else he will let the grandmother take their little girl back with her to Michigan (from here is Georgia, that is at least a 13 hour drive) where my sister cannot see her.
Her mother-in-law's idea of being a responsible mother seems to focused on promptly performing a bunch of chores that no one ever bothered doing at our house, like making sure the beds are neatly made up every morning. She insists on my sister cleaning the whole house more thoroughly on a daily basis than anyone in our home ever did even monthly.
She tends not to be given much advanced warning about any chores she must do. If my sister hesitates in doing a chore that she does not really think needed to be done then the mother-in-law will do it herself and then demand gratitude.
She also gives my sister long lists of names of people (most of whom my sister cannot remember ever meeting) to whom she must hand-write personalized 'thank you' notes.
On top of this she insists that the baby needs to be fed 8 times a day at exactly 3 hours intervals, regardless of whether the baby seems hungry or whether my sister has gotten any sleep after being awakened for the previous feeding.
Broken_Erika
Play with me.
Almost sounds like the mother-in-law has some kind of mild form of Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder......
Zkribbler
Deity
My TV is broken.
My capacitor cracked, leaking electrolytes into my power unit, shorting it out.
I was reminded of Kindergarten Cop.
MC, I hope you tell the case worker everything you've just posted here.
JohannaK
Heroically Clueless
This sounds so much almost like Cinderella it's baffling to think such people exist. And I am sure they exist aplenty.
MagisterCultuum
Great Sage
I just got off the conference with my sister's case manager.
She listened to my concerns but did not seem to think the problems were serious enough to prevent her from going back to live with her husband again.
She did say some couple's therapy might help but her focus seemed to be on making sure my sister has regular appointments with her psychiatrist and a licensed professional therapist.
That and making sure my sister knows she can call my dad or me if she needs anything.
Overall she seemed to be leaning closer to my sister's view that it is more of a clash between personality and communication styles rather than actual abuse.
My sister's presentation of her mother-in-law's demands were a little different today. It sounded like thinking everything needs a thorough cleaning every day was her own idea, as she thinks his mother was just saying to quickly wipe down a few areas and she was perfectionistic enough to think it required a complete scrubbing. She did repeat how stressful it is to have someone around who cares that much about formal etiquette though.
I also found out on this conference call that he did not keep his end of the bargain and has not paid down her student loans yet despite her closing all of her credit cards and bank accounts.
She listened to my concerns but did not seem to think the problems were serious enough to prevent her from going back to live with her husband again.
She did say some couple's therapy might help but her focus seemed to be on making sure my sister has regular appointments with her psychiatrist and a licensed professional therapist.
That and making sure my sister knows she can call my dad or me if she needs anything.
Overall she seemed to be leaning closer to my sister's view that it is more of a clash between personality and communication styles rather than actual abuse.
My sister's presentation of her mother-in-law's demands were a little different today. It sounded like thinking everything needs a thorough cleaning every day was her own idea, as she thinks his mother was just saying to quickly wipe down a few areas and she was perfectionistic enough to think it required a complete scrubbing. She did repeat how stressful it is to have someone around who cares that much about formal etiquette though.
I also found out on this conference call that he did not keep his end of the bargain and has not paid down her student loans yet despite her closing all of her credit cards and bank accounts.
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sophie
Break My Heart
Be careful with recommendations of couple's counseling if you suspect her husband is abusive. Couple's counseling will not change an abuser's behavior for the better, but it is often used by abusive spouses to:
a) obtain confidential information the abused spouse would not have otherwise given up to further control and torment the abused spouse
b) learn techniques provided by the therapist and wield and manipulate them to, again, further control and torment the abused spouse.
Did you tell this to the case worker? Because that and ‘did not seem to think the problems were serious enough to prevent her from going back to live with her husband again’ doesn't make sense to me.
MagisterCultuum
Great Sage
@Owen Glyndwr
yeah, good points.
I guess it is possible that she missed that info though, as my sister mentioned it almost in passing near the end of the call.
It was not clear to me whether she was saying he had not paid all of it off yet or had not made any payments at all, but my dad caught her say the current debt was the same number he remembers it being before they married.
yeah, good points.
There was no point in me telling her, as she was in the same room as my sister on a conference call with my father and me when my sister first revealed that information.
I guess it is possible that she missed that info though, as my sister mentioned it almost in passing near the end of the call.
It was not clear to me whether she was saying he had not paid all of it off yet or had not made any payments at all, but my dad caught her say the current debt was the same number he remembers it being before they married.
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Timsup2nothin
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MC, you might not like this but what you are doing is the equivalent to hiding the liquor from an alcoholic who doesn't believe they have a problem...which has worked out well exactly zero times in the history of ever. The social worker recognizes that trying to take her away from the source of a problem that she doesn't acknowledge as a problem is just going to bind them more tightly on the "same side" and turn her against everyone who actually wants to help her. I'd suggest that you need to follow that lead so that she keeps you in her life where you will be available when she eventually realizes that she needs help.
I agree with Tim: your sister hasn't realised (or accept or whatever) that she has a problem and that she is the one who has to solve it, but usually people like your sister realise they need help only when things have gone too far. Sometimes the damage can be too much… so maybe you could have a separate talk with the case worker, without your sister present, and maybe with your father present, too.
Timsup2nothin
Deity
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Something to keep in mind about this.
People can take a whole lot more "damage" than most people think. I, myself, have done a whole lot of this "damage" to myself in my time, and survived quite handily. What didn't survive was certain relationships. For example, being "brought to the brink of bankruptcy" and beyond actually, didn't "ruin" me. Being a convicted felon may have eliminated my chances of being elected to certain political positions, but it didn't "ruin" me either. Losing the occasional fight, while painful, has yet to prove fatal, and it also hasn't "ruined" me.
What it did do was make it prudent to cut certain people right out of my world who were too busy moaning and gnashing their teeth over my "damage" to recognize that I had in fact survived. If you are fretful about "too much damage" having been done the survivor who is busy getting on with their life may not be terribly interested in you, so be careful about that. I have family members who went to their graves far more concerned about my "damage" than I am, and I consider that to be their loss not mine.
aimeeandbeatles
watermelon
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I've been using Mozilla Thunderbird for years now because I got tired of the layout changing. I guess this wouldn't work too well if you're on a phone or something though.
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