Random Rants XXXVII: The Server Is Too Busy

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See, that's a good idea, but the problem with that is, is that the last time I encountered her, it ended up with her wishing that my condition kills me and to never see me again. I fear that if I were to confront her in person, she'd simply refuse to hear what I had to say and walk away.

@Tak: Thanks.

I see.

So it's a toss between the fear of face-to-face rejection and the fear of rejection by mail. IMHIO, the former is preferable; I'd feel more important that way.

Then again, if she can't accept you for who you are, then maybe she's not the one.
 
I am not using dropbox for images
 
I see.

So it's a toss between the fear of face-to-face rejection and the fear of rejection by mail. IMHIO, the former is preferable; I'd feel more important that way.

Then again, if she can't accept you for who you are, then maybe she's not the one.

Well. Her hatred for me is mostly my fault. If I write an anon letter she is at least forced to read it.

I'm not really looking to have her back, but mostly to get rid of the hate. I mean, after five years of thinking in the back of my head that she is "the one" even while I was with other people, to the point that I was willing to simply stand back and be her supportive best friend, the mere thought of her remembering me as a hateful symbol is unbearable, if you get my meaning.

If the connection is over, I want it to be over on a rather neutral/positive note rather than a purely negative one.
 
If she's that much of a [female dog], she is not worth it.

It will be hard, but you need to give up on her. She's not good enough for you.

There's more than one fish out there. :)

One thing I commonly hear from people who know me, and would like to share with you, "The one" will arrive when you least expect it. And I DO mean least expect it. :)

But in the end, I do hope things work out for you. :)

Oh, last post on the page. Sorry for not seeing this in my last post.

As I stated, her hatred is mostly my fault. It's a rather complicated situation to explain, so unless asked, I think I'll just leave it at that. I'm fully aware that there are more women, but I spent five years with that thought growing on me. I went through at least... hrm... ten? women in that span and she was on my mind throughout all of it, though for the most part I've simply ignored it and forced myself to remain in the best friend zone. However, after breaking the connection last January, and having a full blown hostile encounter in October, the thought of her hating me forever and me losing her forever crept up on me, and suffice it to say, I replaced thinking about death every day all day long to thinking about her.

Giving a reason via words seems like the least I can do, for both her sake and mine.
 
If you're at fault i'd include an apology then.
 
Aaaaaand done. Packaged and sent. Now starts the waiting game, even though I explicitly said in the letter to not respond and to not seek me out, I guess there's a part of me that still hopes she goes "lolnope" and decides to bang down my door anyways.
 
The thing that is that is

EDIT: My brain is not cooperating today
 
I don't always procrastinate, but when I do, oh man do I.
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And by "Always," you mean "I'd procrastinate more often if that was physically possible"?
 
I did one of those silly online IQ tests (it didn't require my email though) and I got a score of 78 :ack:
 
My dad's leukemia has returned mutated into a more aggressive form of lymphoma. Thankfully, the more aggressive form is actually easier to treat and can usually be cured.
 
I don't always procrastinate, but when I do, oh man do I.

I don't always procrastinate, but when I do it is on something important as my thesis :(
 
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