Random thoughts 1: Just Sayin'

[Cassius Critzer]

...which is the very definition of unwanted and unwarranted observation tempered by acerbic snarkiness and has zero value.

The historical antecedent is "just kidding" which resulted in horrible comments and could ruin a friendship. It is softening the blow of a direct insult and who needs more insults? I guess it's an acceptable practice by sociopaths.

Example
"Well I guess some people think that dress is attractive...just saying."

 

[Ryika]

Well you sound like you're a lot of fun to hang out with. Just kidding.

...just saying.

 

[Cassius Critzer]

That form is merely masking trolling and not arfully communicated and sans inventiveness.

 

[Ryika]

Have you invented time travel to join us in the future?

 

[Cassius Critzer]

Sarcasm is the least attractive attribute, adds nothing to relationships, and actually is designed to belittle. Yet a remarkably high number of American women felt their sarcastic commentary was attractive when it actually ultimately is repulsive.

Ridicule is not useful and becomes scorn. Sarcasm is best friends with Shame as an insidious tool of insincere acquaintances posing as human beings.​

 

[Arakhor]

Suggesting that other people are sociopaths simply because you dislike some of their speech patterns is hardly the best way to win friends and influence people.

 

[GoodSarmatian]

...which is the very definition of unwanted and unwarranted observation tempered by acerbic snarkiness and has zero value.

Are you not aware of the irony ?

 

[Cassius Critzer]

Are you not aware of the irony ?

Are you?

 

[GoodSarmatian]

Are you?

Oh, I'm aware of many things.
Irony, hypocrisy, other people's lack of self awareness...
Just sayin'...

 

[Synobun]

This latest trend of 2 week old accounts all migrating into OT and espousing identical views before being banned and someone else magically taking their place is getting boring.

 

[Cassius Critzer]

Just sayin' is basically devaluing your own comment as needing intellectual support by echoing. Saying it often is akin to overusing exclamation points to be emphatic.

I cannot recollect a pithy essay or a novel or a short story or a poem that uses "just sayin'" as a valid literary device.

 

[Ryika]

Sarcasm is the least attractive attribute, adds nothing to relationships, and actually is designed to belittle. Yet a remarkably high number of American women felt their sarcastic commentary was attractive when it actually ultimately is repulsive.​

I think sarcasm can be a very attractive attribute. My friend and I often say sarcastic things and make each other laugh because of it, and we both understand that it's in good sports, so everything's fine.

There is a negative association with sarcasm because... let's be honest, it's used in abundance by those who are miserable, and those who hold beliefs that they don't know how to defend properly, but I very much disagree with the idea that it has to be a negative thing.

 

[Cassius Critzer]

Sarcasm is predicated on criticism that is not typically constructive, thus it destroys ultimately in friendships as we are most vulnerable within relationships. So expecting support from compadres becomes an unexpected insight that blindsides you as sarcasm. It then becomes, "Et tu Brute" when Brutus stabs his surrrogate father Julius Caesar.

Other than an instance of Napoleon being sarcastic to a respected soldier under his command who lost a limb, then it seems unwelcome and inappropriate except to adversaries.

 

[Ryika]

That's a very narrow use of sarcasm you're focusing on.

 

[GoodSarmatian]

Dude, did you watch a Sarcast kill your parents ?

 

[Cassius Critzer]

If you want to be happier and improve your relationships, cut out sarcasm since sarcasm is actually hostility disguised as humor. Despite smiling outwardly, most people who receive sarcastic comments feel put down and usually think the sarcastic person is a jerk. Indeed, it’s not surprising that the origin of the word sarcasm derives from the Greek word “sarkazein” which literally means “to tear or strip the flesh off.” Hence, it’s no wonder that sarcasm is often preceded by the word “cutting” and that it hurts.

What’s more, since actions strongly determine thoughts and feelings, when a person consistently acts sarcastically it usually only heightens his or her underlying hostility and insecurity. After all, when you come right down to it, sarcasm is a subtle form of bullyingand most bullies are angry, insecure, cowards. Alternatively, when a person stops voicing negative comments, especially sarcastic and critical ones, he or she soon starts to feel happier and more self-confident. Also, the other people in his or her life benefit even faster because they no longer have to hear the emotionally hurtful language of sarcasm.

An example of the harmful effects of sarcasm which is masked hostility.
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/think-well/201206/think-sarcasm-is-funny-think-again

Sarcasm and parenting do not mix in helpful ways. Nor in friendships. Nor in romance. Nor in altruism.

Just sayin' is inherently either insecurity in the correctness of one's insight thus breeds impotence. Or worse it is masked hostility to soften the blow of an insult.

It is very harmful in romantic relationships with women.

https://www.yourtango.com/experts/d...-turned-off-by-sarcastic-men-in-relationships

 

[GoodSarmatian]

An example of the harmful effects of sarcasm which is masked hostility.
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/think-well/201206/think-sarcasm-is-funny-think-again

Oh, wow !
I never considered this !
Thank you for bringing such an important topic to my attention !

 

[Ryika]

An example of the harmful effects of sarcasm which is masked hostility.
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/think-well/201206/think-sarcasm-is-funny-think-again

Sarcasm and parenting do not mix in helpful ways. Nor in friendships. Nor in romance. Nor in altruism.

Just sayin' is inherently either insecurity in the correctness of one's insight thus breeds impotence. Or worse it is masked hostility to soften the blow of an insult.

It is very harmful in romantic relationships with women.

https://www.yourtango.com/experts/d...-turned-off-by-sarcastic-men-in-relationships

Did you stop reading at that point, or did you intentionally cut out the other part in an attempt to misrepresent what the article is stating?

Now I’m not saying all sarcasm is bad. It’s just better used sparingly – like a potent spice in cooking. Too much spice and the dish will be overwhelmed by it. Similarly, an occasional dash of sarcastic wit can spice up a chat and add an element of humor to it. But a big or steady serving of sarcasm will overwhelm the emotional flavor of any conversation and taste very bitter to its recipient.

In short the article summarizes as: "Don't be sarcastic all the time, use clever humor instead." - which of course is good advice, but hardly supports the generalized "Sarcasm is bad!" that you're trying to sell.

 

[Cassius Critzer]

By all means provide intellectual support for using sarcasm...if you can find it. The preponderance of clinical evidence in behavioral science fosters reducing it.

In debate, an appeal to ridicule induces eyerolling at the immaturity of such fallaciousness.

Just saying ( and prior just kidding) are generally juvenile speech patterns as they emulate one another. In anthropology such emulation is called code switching to gain acceptance in social relationship by one's perceived peers.

It is had any power in persuasion, then it would be common in literature, in education, in leadership, etc.

It is negative behavior modification which doesn't work.

 

[Ryika]

By all means provide intellectual support for using sarcasm...if you can find it. The preponderance of clinical evidence in behavioral science fosters reducing it.

In debate, an appeal to ridicule induces eyerolling at the immaturity of such fallaciousness.

Just saying ( and prior just kidding) are generally juvenile speech patterns as they emulate one another. In anthropology such emulation is called code switching to gain acceptance in social relationship by one's perceived peers.

It is had any power in persuasion, then it would be common in literature, in education, in leadership, etc.

It is negative behavior modification which doesn't work.

I'm not sure why you're lumping in general use of sarcasm with the specific example you're giving.

For some reason, you think of sarcasm as an attack on the person you're talking to, but it doesn't even have to be that. Example:

A: "I just watched Superman vs. Batman. Such a boring movie."
B: "Oh, I've seen it, too. Pretty boring overall, but that one scene when both of them suddenly decide to become friends because Batman said the name Martha, that was so brilliantly done, surely a masterpiece of cinematography that will be remembered as a mile stone of movie making for centuries to come. If there's one thing I'd love to do more than to watch that movie again, it's to watch that scene in a 2-hour loop."

Clearly, that sort of sarcasm is likely to be more of a bonding experience than a cause for conflict as long as you don't overdo it so much that it makes you seem like a negative person.

 

[Cassius Critzer]

There is nothing wrong with humor to convey criticism of a film. Saying the above to a friend in a theatrical production might result in the cold shoulder for months. Being sarcastic with a flippant remark to a girlfriend can be harmful as it is endemic in America that women have very low self-confidence despite seemingly assertive.

Big difference.

We learn to have low self-esteem because biting comments are routine.

Flipping the script.
"You know, I think you are a valuable person and often insightful. Just sayin'. "

There is nothing technically wrong but the last fragment does nothing to empower nor persuades more. Instead a new sentence, an action sentence like, "Stand up for yourself." is much better.

This is such a wide spread cultural phenomena that an underhanded method of dating will artfully use sarcasm on women to put them in their place, and then act as a shark once that one is used up.

'Not a big fan of sarcasm. In fact, most young people especially due to their economic instability need no reminder that their position and standing is tenuous.