Respect: Is it Earnt or Given?

[Quackers]

Inspired by a poster in the "Christopher hitchins" memorial thread.

Is respect earnt or given? What do you think?

On an individual basis I give everybody a default base of respect. So I am relatively polite, friendly, don't get in the way, courteous and a few other virtues. I'm not going OTT with the respect like a servant to a King but I treat the other person respectfully. This point will last untill I get a measure of there character and there personality; if it's a person I will never see again, they will just get the default base respect from me. This is the crucial factor to whether my level of respect rises or falls. Fallers on Quacker's respect level tend to be rude people, exceptionally loud people, disrespectful and on and on the usual kind of stuff. Risers on my respect level are people I get on with, friendly people, a "good" person (like if they worked as a volunteer for a charity! but thats out of the ordinary) and other virtues. My respect level for a person is never fixed and can vary.

I think this kind of reasoning above is the mainstream. I cannot think how a city, an airport or any kind of organisation can be run without humans giving some level of respect to one another.

What do you think? Do you give respect straight away? Does your respect ever waiver? Were you brought up to only give respect when the other has earnt it? Do you respect people who are consistently rude to you? What other thoughts do you have? Is there an evolutionary explaination for "respect"?

 

[Skwink]

I respect everyone until they do something to get my respect revoked.

 

[Traitorfish]

Depends what you mean by "respect". If you mean treating somebody with dignity, then, yes, that's given, but if you mean treating them with deference or admiration, then that's earned. It's not a word with any one meaning.

 

[Abegweit]

On the other thread, someone talked about the difference between respect and manners. I agree. Proper manners mean that you should treat people decently, perhaps even if they don't deserve it.

Respect, in contrast, is something that needs to be earned. I honestly am dismayed at the way that these two concepts have become conflated.

 

[Synobun]

Respect is earned, and this is the main reason why I do not get along with my parents, why I didn't get along with teachers, and why I refuse to enter the military. They all expect a given respect, something which I would refuse to give unless they earned it.

 

[azzaman333]

Respect isn't binary. It's a sliding scale that changes based off other peoples actions.

 

[Cutlass]

I also think that there's a default base level of respect that people get. And that's kind of variable depending on what they've done or what their position is. Beyond that, respect goes up or down based on their behavior or accomplishments.

 

[Takhisis]

Earned, mostly, but most of the earning is passive. Still, your spelling doesn't earn you much respect

 

[madviking]

Tolerance is a given, respect is not.

 

[Glassfan]

On the other thread, someone talked about the difference between respect and manners. I agree. Proper manners mean that you should treat people decently, perhaps even if they don't deserve it.

Respect, in contrast, is something that needs to be earned. I honestly am dismayed at the way that these two concepts have become conflated.

This...

My boss has been with us for three years now, and we've got him sussed. He's a company man who does whatever he's told from above, but doesn't help us troopies at all. The answer's always no. So he has my obedience, but he's lost any respect he started out with.

 

[civ_king]

Depends what you mean by "respect". If you mean treating somebody with dignity, then, yes, that's given, but if you mean treating them with deference or admiration, then that's earned. It's not a word with any one meaning.

This is exactly the meaning I was going to convey

 

[Mise]

Respect: Is it Earnt or Given?

Yes .

 

[Narz]

Respect isn't binary. It's a sliding scale that changes based off other peoples actions.

Well put.

On the plus side, I like the use of the word earnt but we did have this thread just a few weeks ago.

 

[Leonel]

I like giving everyone a certain amount of respect and then adding/subtracting depending on the persons actions.

 

[Takhisis]

Like a charisma stat in D&D!

 

[Ramius75]

I give respect until they lose it...

 

[Leonel]

Like a charisma stat in D&D!

Uh sure yeah!

 

[galdre]

I treat people with courtesy, but no one gets respect until they have earned it

 

[timtofly]

Depends what you mean by "respect". If you mean treating somebody with dignity, then, yes, that's given, but if you mean treating them with deference or admiration, then that's earned. It's not a word with any one meaning.

The way people use respect these days seems to me the Golden Rule in reverse. I will treat you fair as long as you do the same. I will give you respect as long as you earn it. In other words: If I loose confidence in you, I can treat you like dirt.

I am sure that we do not want to see it that way, but when you are the receiver, how would you know when you have done enough to earn that respect back. Seems now they have control over you. You are now the slave of their respect.

To me, the way it is used today is just an excuse not to show respect to someone and the term respect has lost it's original meaning.

I do not think that respect should be demanded either. It is a choice. Sometimes it is an easy choice and sometimes it is a hard choice.

I think respect should be an internal disclosure, or it can be used as a manipulating tool because of the way people currently use it.

 

[galdre]

Yeah, I think people confuse respect with common courtesy - I'll still treat people I have 0 respect for (or even disrespect) with common courtesy