[RFC] Rome: Eternal Empire

[thecaesar]

 

[hoplitejoe]

Where are you up to in skyward sword?

 

[Emperor Bosco I]

It wan't a spelling mistake, it was a test! Right, METY?

 

[MoreEpicThanYou]

Uh... yeah! Just a test, to see how close to my epicness you are!

 

[Akbarthegreat]

Now I'm gonna set these guys on someone:

Spoiler :

 

[j_mie6]

i'll set my ningas on them! see link in sig SELF_PROMO ALERT

 

[MoreEpicThanYou]

Hello everyone, and welcome to another update of Rome: Eternal Empire! It's a bit shorter than usual, but what's going to happen soon should suffice.

Premier: The WED is taking too long.. 20 turns.
Ex-Emperor: Can you at least tell me what WED stands for?
Premier: Fine, I'll tell you. It's a Weapon of Epic Destruction.
Ex-Emperor: HOW DARE YOU USE THE WORD "EPIC"! NARRATOR!
Narrator: Ye- *Ex-Emperor starts to strangle Narrator*
Ex-Emperor: HOW COULD YOU LET HIM TAKE OVER! IT EVEN GOES AGAINST THIS STORY'S TITLE!
Narrator: Ah, you haven't learned your lesson. *snaps fingers*
Premier's Personal Slave: IT'S STILL NOT FAIR!
*Narrator snaps fingers*
Premier's Dog: YOU'LL HAVE TO DO BETTER THAN THAT!
Narrator: Oh, but I can. *snaps fingers*
The Premier's Five-Year-Old Daughter: NOOOOOOO! NOT THAT! ANYTHING BUT THAT!
Premier: Aww, she's so cute like that! Can I keep her?
Narrator: Not forever. But, as punishment, I think I'll keep her like that for the rest of the update. Also, her name needs to be a bit shorter.
Little Girl: I worship your Holy Epicness, Narrator!
Narrator: It's too late for that.
Little Girl: But the update just started!

The Channel Tunnel. Considering that the people of my People's Republic have Jesus powers and can magically walk over that straight, it's worthless.

Only someone desperate for cities would accept a colony in the northern wastes.

I've always wanted to burn Sinop, but not like this.

Plauge. , Medicine-less fools.

Premier: Just... ten... more... turns...
Little Girl: JUST LET ME OUT!
Premier: You know, you're even more annoying than you were as the Ex-Emperor. I think I'll send you to... The People's Daycare.
Little Girl: You wouldn't dare try to brainwash me!
Premier: Ah, but now I not only have power over you as the Premier, but power over you as your legal guardian.
*An hour later, at The People's Daycare...*
Teacher: Now class, who created the universe?
Toddler: The Premier!
Teacher: Exactly! A+!
Little Girl: God created the universe! Everyone knows that!
Teacher: That's Imperialist propaganda. Now, do you want to go to the Punishment Room, aka Room 101?
Little Girl: NO! Not that! ANYTHING but that!
Teacher: Good. Now, who can tell me what the Communist Party is?
Toddler: They are the kind-hearted supreme rulers of the world who always know what's best!
Little Girl: *sigh*

Sinop is mine! I'm going to keep it, as it's reasonably distanced from Constantinople.

Wait a minute. Portugal respawned? *sigh* Time to take out the trash.

Cadiz? That makes it better. Now, I can give Lisbon some room.

1 turn after they respawned.

Aww... seems they still have Ponta Delgada.

NO DEFENSES! IN THEIR CAPITOL!

How dare they say "Soccer" in an un-Americanese way! It's like Sid Meier is a *gasp* Canadian in disguise!

All right, the Modern Era.

Wha... First the Islamic Postal Service, and now this? How'd it get there? Maybe the Islamic Postmen.

Another day, another raze.

Premier: Yes! YESSS! NUKES! MY PRECIOUS!
Little Girl: NOOOOOOOOO!
Premier: Wait a minute...

Premier: WHERE ARE MAH GODDAMN NUKES!
Little Girl: I've been reading the Civilopedia. You need Rocketry to make Nukes.
Premier: NOOOO! 20 WHOLE TURNS... DOWN THE DRAIN!
Narrator: Sorry, time's up. *snaps fingers*
Ex-Emperor: YES!
Premier: NOOO! I didn't even get to use him as my first nuclear test subject!

That's all, everyone! Next will be a mini-update, from between now and when I build my first nuke.

 

[MaxWar]

Nice one, I enjoyed
I can't wait for the first nuke

 

[Akbarthegreat]

Great

 

[thecaesar]

Time to take out the trash.

Does this remind anyone else of anything?

Time to take out the adorable trash!

 

[MoreEpicThanYou]

I've never even seen FiM! Don't mistake me for a brony!

 

[thecaesar]

You are 99% Rainbow Dash, I swear...

 

[MoreEpicThanYou]

I'm more Epic than Rainbow Dash, anyway.

 

[thecaesar]

And Rainbow Dash would likely challenge you on that, and that's why you're like Rainbow Dash!

 

[MoreEpicThanYou]

Can Rainbow Dash use my Epic Powers of Epicness?

 

[Jwitti]

I think so

 

[thecaesar]

 

[MaxWar]

''Time to take out the trash''

Reminds me the excellent classic strategy game Jagged Alliance 2.

 

[Mouthwash]

I know this is off-topic, but does anyone know a Rome game where they recreated the empire? Like, all of it?

 

[MoreEpicThanYou]

I think Jusos did it once... Look at the "Whole Empire" thread in the RFC forum.

Anyway, Rainbow Dash would at least need hands to be as epic as I am.