Roll to Dodge - Help NC Get Out of Bed Edition
- Thread starter NinjaCow64
- Start date
- Joined
- Apr 4, 2010
- Messages
- 8,873
I'm doing the first action because its the action that you posted first.
(4) 7: Your soundjustu is pretty good (you are David Bowie after all) but not good enough to break time and space.
3: Winston Payne's shrill OBJECTION screeches throughout the room. "Here is paperwork that shows that Lucina was formally charged with Lèse-Majesté!"
(Arrest paperwork added to court record)
"I'm sorry Omega124 but I am going to have to hit you with a penalty for wasting the court's time" says Judge Clyde. You lose 18% of your penalty bar!
"I call my primary witness," says Winston Payne "Little King John, the arresting officer and King of Minecraft!"
Winston Payne and Little King John tries to catch you off-guard with obviously pre-prepared testimony! ROLL TO DODGE!!!
5: You are caught off guard! (-38% penalty bar).
(7) 11: The sneaky sleepytime switcheroo activates, disabling your mana damaging attacks but enabling physically damaging ones. It isn't as effective, but it will hopefully be enough to deal a final blow against the dreaded SouthernKing (+1 to physical injuries vs opponents, pillows can now deal normal damage, Anti-Dark Buddhism Arts disabled temporarily).
(14) 11: You don't get infinity guns, but he does vom up a Mateba Autorevolver (+1 to shooting) which you proceed to shoot at THUNDERFALL. THUNDERFALL is moving super fast because of the asprin, so you only nick him for -3 HP.
THUNDERFALL uses his chad JoJos power to bleeding (12) 14: He stops bleeding and 15 HP's worth of blood rematerialises in his body.
(12) 13: This is the Australian Parliament, but that's still a pretty intimidating threat. 49 of the 650 British MPs from various parties are now supporting your your bid for Prime Minister. However, your blatant acts of terrorism have made David Hurely, Governor-General of Australia and the Queen's representative, absolutely livid. ROLL TO DODGE!!!
(11) 12: Despite your intoxication, your catlike reflexes kick in and you manage to dodge Hurley from hitting you with the big golden scepter thing.
(8) 11: Turns out blood is mostly water! You manage to get 7 HP's worth of good blood back into your body and you close up the wound.
(3) 13: You solve all of the problems that Australia's government is dealing with and everyone gives you standing ovation.
14: Because of her impressive performance in Parliament, the online petition is a success and the latest Newspoll says that if an election was called tomorrow 10% of Australians would vote for whatever party Rosie is in. That's as many as 1 in 10. And that's incredible.
(19) 20: You both exit the Pepsi Portal on planet Pepsi, both of you are refreshed to full health.
(6) 7: You can't find the remote so you are forced to watch the Pilgrums on repeat. Rats.
"Nd2"
SouthernKingViaDiscord said:
10: You can't build a water park, you are currently falling onto a comically oversized trampoline.
****************
ori attacks SouthernKing with another ladder! ROLL TO DODGE!!! (3) 2: SouthernKing is repeatedly pelted with a ladder until he starts bleeding like a JoJo character! (-15 HP, -5 HP/turn).
Sasaki Kojirō (no relation) makes his final stand. (14) 21: "Covert Cushion: Curving Cacholote Cut!!!" Sasaki Kojirō (no relation) cuts through the Mara armies, leaving them in complete disarray! (-6 to combat, can't act outside of combat). Unfortunately, he succumbs to his injuries, dying an honourable pillow samuari's death.
Hilary Rodham Clinton prepares the U.S army to take advantage of the opening that Sasaki Kojirō (no relation) has made 19: She prepares the U.S Army (+5 vs the Maras in next combat roll) - its going to be a rout.
Crezth
i knew you were a real man of the left
I make a break for it and flee to the Fall, as seen in the hit movie Total Recall (2012), which will allow me to travel to London in under 30 minutes. Then I can really oppress some English-speakers!
edit: I drag Rosie along with me
edit: I drag Rosie along with me
gay_Aleks
from the river to the sea, Palestine will be free!
"Comrades! The crisis within the bourgeois 'democracy' of Australia has taken new heights. I have reliable information that there is active fighting in the Parliament! It is nigh time to seize control, spread our message and gain new followers. To victory!"
JohannaK
Heroically Clueless
I sing a song about Rosie being Prime Minister of all Commonwealth contries. Because it's only fair.
Catharsis
catch u on the flip scythe
Right, now more than ever. "CATASTROPHIC CUSHION CHARGE", downwards through the air into SK, but at an angle, to knock him out of reach of the trampoline.
RIP Sasaki Kojiro (no relation). I never got the reference. May his spirit forever... kick the piss out of birds or whatever it was that the comments on that Youtube video were suggesting that he does.
RIP Sasaki Kojiro (no relation). I never got the reference. May his spirit forever... kick the piss out of birds or whatever it was that the comments on that Youtube video were suggesting that he does.
Omega124
Challenging Fate
I ask Little King John if he ever had a history of trying to kidnap women. Allude to the time where he did it to me
Robert Can't
Éponine
I let Crezth drag me to wherever it is we are going. I grab some lunch for the two of us on the way.
Crezth
i knew you were a real man of the left
Oh we're in London we can get a curry.
SouthernKing
crickety cricket
I stop the bleeding with judicious application of bacon and beans
- Joined
- Apr 4, 2010
- Messages
- 8,873
1: Yeah, I'm not having any of that. Non-consensual tickling is extremely unethical. I teleport you in front of THUNDERFALL's powerful electric attack, causing you to burst aflame (-20 HP, -5 HP/turn, -1 to all actions).
(19) 18: Honestly I don't know what the Fall is but I'm going to assume its a spaceship with some lazers or something (+2 to shooting lazers out of the spaceship). Rosie follows behind you in her spaceship.
6: You rally your petitioners on the Facebook group (+1% support), however then disaster strikes! It turns out that Rosie is a British citizen, making her ineligible to Parliament! This makes some of her supporters give up in sadness (-3% support). But the rest continue the good fight, surely a constitutional amendment can rectify this...
(8) 12: The truth of active fighting in Parliament is revealed and hurts the legitimacy of Australian government very much! (-10% support Coalition, +10% support RNDP).
(15) 18: Holy heck you did! Nanites burst out of his body Alien style (except very small), causing him to take on the appearance of swiss cheese (-30 HP). The nanties will vore him for -5 HP/turn and he is going to bleed for an additional -5 HP/turn.
"I see you've summoned a friend..." said THUNDERFALL "Rather unwise to summon him right in front of my fists! I guess this is 2v2 now. ORI! COME!" 15: ori is summoned and activates his passive healing aura for free! (+7 HP/turn for both ori and THUNDERFALL).
ori uses his stand to heal THUNDERFALL! (15) 15: ori's stand exiles the nanobots from THUNDERFALL's body, closes the wounds and repairs 15 HP's worth of his injuries!
(18) 21: A video of David Bowie singing the praises of Rosie's Prime Ministerial abilities dated to 2013 is posted on Facebook. People are confused but this encourages people to call an early election and everyone agrees with David Freaking Bowie! +60% popularity for Rosie's Party! Rosie is elected Prime Minister of Australia!
Election Results:
Rosie's Party (Rosie/Gurra): 68% (Lower House: 103 MPs Upper House: 52 Senators)
Coalition (NPC): 21% (Lower House: 32 MPs Upper House: 16 Senators)
RNDP (Aleks): 10% (Lower House: 16 MPs Upper House: 4 Senators)
(7) 8: Turns out it is really hard to hit someone who is falling out of the sky with a pillow!
(7) 9: Tsk, turns out the soul bandwith in outerspace is really bad, making it really hard to speed up the process. Thank you Telstra.
18: "Yeah, I do it all the time." Winston faceplams as his client casually incriminates himself in front of the court and 60% of his case falls apart.
Winston Payne tries to stop your progress with a few well timed OBJECTIONS! 14: "Well timed" more like "poorly timed", egg ends up on his face and makes his case increasingly untennable.
"Come on Megan!" Lucina says, taking the role that Maya usually takes in Ace Attorney games "You can put this rascally rat in prison where he belongs!" (+5 to Turnabouts, 1 turn).
(7) 10: Burmese Curry House is closed because of the pandemic.
(14) 15: You see twitter is abuzz about Rosie being elected the Prime Minister and the various shenanigans of various players. Of particular note is some anime chess people tweeting about detecting a new power being awakened in Canberra, you quickly come to the conclusion that they are talking about you. That's pretty gratifying! (+2 Confidence).
"dxc5"
5: This was a terrible idea and makes you feel really nauseous (-1 to all actions next turn).
You land on the trampoline with a big crunch! You take -27 HP, meaning you will bleed out next turn! How terrible!
****************
"Seriously don't tickle me." I say "That's not cool."
Hilary Rodham Clinton congratulates Rosie over twitter for winning the election 11: she does so.
1st Mara Army and 2nd U.S Expeditionary Force start fighting in Beijing!
David Hurely attempts to find a spaceship to chase after Crezth. 8: Parliament house is fresh out of space ships. Rats.
Hatsune Mike reunites with his daughter, Hatsune Miku.
JohannaK
Heroically Clueless
I'm alive and well.
Catharsis
catch u on the flip scythe
I land next to SouthernKing and rip my pillowcase into tourniquets to patch up his wounds. Honour does not permit me to enjoy a victory I did nothing to deserve. Full life consequences will need to wait.
OOC: It's a futuristic underground train/oil rig penetrator thing. It crosses through the Earth's core from Australia to England in half an hour or so in the movie.
But the presence of shootable lazers makes your version better.
