Discussion in 'Forum Games' started by NinjaCow64, Aug 15, 2020.
hopefully, not the White Duke
No OOC please.
7: While preparing the martini, your hand slips and you get gin and vermouth all over the floor.
20: Wow, you eat healthy even when stress eating? I'm genuinely impressed. (+3 to Health and/or Fitness rolls).
(18) 20: How very JoJos of you. ainwood has been completely pizzafied. You feel yourself grow stronger! (+1 vs OT bonus upgraded to +1 bonus vs CFC Users and Staffers). ATPG is very pleased with your work and will resurrect you in Beijing at the end of this turn so you can get your revenge on the hated THUNDERFALL.
(10) 13: Ryūjin blesses Canberra's champion, Aleks, in her quest to destroy the ICBM. (Aleks gets +1 to the roll to stop the ICBM this turn!)
18 (18): "PLAYFUL...PILLOW...PUMMEL!!!" Your pillow pummel does minimal damage (-1 HP) (as expected), but starts to drain his magical abilities! (-36% Mana). He is also completely thrown off balance for a turn (-1 defence, 1 turn).
"I was merely performing an attack against a Mara, one of our hated foes. The fact that it caused me to safely land on the ground is a mere coincidence." Sasaki Kojiroi (no relation) says smugly, like the rules lawyer he is.
10: Your lawyer gives you a free consultation on the phone "Unfortunately, the John Kingdom is an Absolute Monarchy so Little King John can arrest you for any reason. This kind of international kerfuffle is far beyond my pay grade, you're going to need someone who specialises in International Law. It won't be cheap and I can't guarantee that you'll get anywhere."
Lucina eats a single Maxim tomato (+50 HP).
(3) 2: You trip and fall down the cosmic cobblestone bridge, hitting every rock in the flight of stairs down to Calvary Hospital, breaking every bone in your body (-20 HP, -1 to all movement). Grum follows behind you! ROLL TO DODGE!!!
(5) 1: Grum jumps on top of you and starts chowing into your flesh like some horrible monster in a horror movie (-20 HP, -5 HP/turn bleeding). Also you are completely pinned by the little creep (-5 to resisting Grum while pinned, -1 to pushing Grum off of you).
(20) 22: Empowered by the hopes and fears of Canberra, the power of your ZIG and the blessings of Ryūjin, you shoot down the missile and save Canberra from certain destruction! You are awarded another Noble Peace Prize (2x Noble Peace Prizes, +2 to Heroism), you are granted exclusive ownership of the ZIG and as you land, a crowd of adoring fans are gather around the airbase waiting to hear you speak (+2 to speaking to the crowd, 1 turn).
(5) 6: You set the room on fire, but Hatsune Mike's forcefield protects him from any negative effects of the smoke and it becomes really difficult to track his movements due to all the smoke (Hatsune Mike gets +2 to Stealth). Oh well, at least your healing factor is active now that the whole room is on fire.
Hatsune Mike sends another sonic blast your way! ROLL TO DODGE!!!
(13) 14: You nimbly dodge Hatsune Mike's attacks. He overextends himself, allowing you to track his movements temporarily (stealth bonus disabled next turn).
You play DDR (20) 22: You win at the DDR game epic style, your high score empowering you to make a super attack (+3 to attack next turn)!
(14) 15: You accidentally put on the Pillgrums, a genuinely terrible film. But it turns out that your third-eye was playing 3D chess this whole time because as soon as Grum realises that was what was playing, he stops eating Gurra09 and looks at the TV screen.
"WOW" says Grum "that's ME!". Your insight tells you that Grum will be distracted by his film for two turns and thus be unable to do anything else (-1 action, 2 turns), giving you all time to deal with the horrific CGI abomination.
"Excuse me Red," Kotok McCarthy asks "Is there anything you can do about my movement penalty? I could probably defeat this evil gremlin if I could activate my anime chess abilities for a single turn. Also, Kf3."
20: It is March 29th, 2013 and you are literally David Bowie. You are in his(?)/your(?) New York City apartment. +2 to singing, also +1 to changing the timeline due to it being more elastic due to Omega124's interference.
(17) 20: You use the dark magicks of set theory to give everyone in Beijing (except your Maras who don't believe in math) a splitting headache (-1 to all actions that require thought).
THUNDERFALL uses Feel The Thunder to lob thunderbolts at the PLA armies (7) 9: Unfortunately for him, the contradictory railroads of Beijing absorb most of his electricity. They are melted, removing SouthernKing's advantage over Beijing, but that took more energy out of THUNDERFALL than he would care to admit (Stand Battle bonus suppressed until he recovers).
Camikaze, realising he is dying, prepares a Camikaze attack! (10) 11: Camikaze will gain +10 to his next attack and then will immediately explode!
Hilary Rodham Clinton attempts to get to Beijing faster 14: and manages to shave off a turn on her journey!
BATTLE OF BEIJING: (2) 11 - Despite their overwhelming disadvantage, the People's Liberation Army fight valiantly but are routed. Sasaki Kojirō (no relation) and ori knock each other unconscious for a turn, meaning they will not participate in the next battle. Both the Maras and the OT Bersekers are exhausted by that surprisingly tough battle (-3 combat ability, both sides).
DoubleA appears in Beijing, witnessing an epic battle between Demons and Off-Topic Subforum Berserkers. He spots THUNDERFALL in the crowd, weakened.
(OOC: Wow this is taking a lot more energy to maintain than I expected, I will likely not be able to commit to a update every day in the future! Sorry gang! I'll try and update as much as I am able. Stats shall be updated later tonight.)
I crouch down to the floor and lick up the spilled gin and vermouth. "Waste not, want not!" I declare.
I find a mop to give to Crezth
I distract everyone with a really good song.
I use my special attack, Chester Cheeto Crunchy Crush.
I climb on top of the ZIG, and look at the crowd, and address them. "Friends! Today, we have been at the very brink of destruction. As long as nuclear weapons continue to exist and are stockpiled by all nations, we are always at risk! We cannot rely on our leaders to always have the best considerations about our well-being. I urge you, to organize, and pressure your governments to put an end to this nuclear threat, by disarming ALL nuclear arsenals. Tell your families, tell your neighbours, tell everyone! We cannot risk this once more. We needed nuclear disarmenent yesterday!"
You know who is canonically qualified to practice law in Japan, California, not!Salem, and a made up South Asian-esque country in the game, and is known to do pro-bono work if they believe in the client?
I call for Phoenix Wright, Ace Attorney
I call out for an appropriate medical professional to come help me now that I'm in a hospital.
Time for a new move, and this one's a status debuff! "LAMENTABLE LINEN LULLABY!" SouthernKing it is past your bedtime. Time to go to sleep!!!
Sentiment: Ryūjin having helped me, I now join heroic Aleks-san in organising nuclear disarmament. It is what bushidō declares to be proper.
Action: submit petition to Nippon government to organise worldwide pacifist antinuclear movement. I know that the Dragon Goddess of the Sea will agree with this.
Get a nurse to provide Kotok McCarthy with their medication.
19: Gross, but effective. You clean the entire carpet like a cat (+2 to doing cat things). You also gain the desired amount of intoxication. +1 Intoxication (+1 to Happiness, +1 to doing intoxicated things, -1 to common sense, 10 turns).
5: You are too distracted by Crezth extremely gross catlike actions to find a mop.
You get a phone call from work "Rosie! We need you desperately! There's a crisis in parliament and only your finely crafted numbers can resolve it!"
(6) 9: The impromptu 2013 David Bowie concert, while really cool, has minimal impact on the timeline.
(16) 18: You make a Cheetos flavoured big fire mouth that crunches Hatsune Mike for massive damage! (-34 HP, -3 HP/turn on fire, -3 HP/turn bleeding).
Hatsune Mike attempts to retaliate. ROLL TO DODGE!!!
(10) 10: You manage to continue dodging Hatsune Mike, but that super attack took a little bit out of you (Tired, -1 to movement, 1 turn).
(4) 8: You successfully organise the crowd into the Revolutionary Nuclear Disarmament Party, who unanimously elect you their chairperson. The reactionaries, as you can imagine, are less than thrilled about this and view you as a threat that needs to be crushed immediately. A police battalion starts brawling with the crowd! The outcome of the battle will be decided at the end of the turn!
7: Unfortunately it is 2013, Wright canonically didn't pass the bar exam until 2017.
Little King John comes down to the dungeon, fully healed and motivated. He says "I have no time for a boring legal proceeding, acceptance of my courtship is what I want to be hearing."
10: You summon an appropriate nurse, but unfortunately he can't really do anything until Grum is moved out of the way.
(18) 18: The Lamentable Linen Lullaby does minimal damage and mana drain (-1 HP, -14% mana drain) but makes SouthernKing incredibly sleepy (-2 to non-restful actions) and increases the mana drain penalty (-1 to Dark Buddhist Magic). It also puts SouthernKing at high risk of falling out of the sky!
(6) 8: The Japanese government agrees with your sentiment and provides diplomatic support to the Revolutionary Nuclear Disarmament Party. The CIA really disliked that and have sent an assassin armed with a Heart-Attack Gun after you. ROLL TO DODGE!!!
(16) 21: You waterbend that CIA assassin right into Lake Burley Griffin, the pollution killing her instantly.
(10) 11: You attract the attention of a nearby nurse, who uses Medicine #11 to transfer your 11 to Kotok McCarthy for this turn.
"Bg5." says Kotok McCarthy, "Also, forbidden anime chess technique! Qd3dõ¿ïğ!"
The White Queen disappears from the board and instead stands behind him in real life.
"This is a forbidden anime chess technique," Kotok McCarthy explains "Abusing the fifth dimension to summon the chess pieces to fight in real life. If I did this in a tournament game I would be immediately disqualified! But I figure that you would forgive me considering this is a matter of life-or-death. Q to GRUM1!"
The White Queen attacks Grum (16) 24: The Queen's rapid eight-fold attack severely injures Grum (-30 HP, -5 HP/turn bleeding) and knocks him off Gurra09! Additionally, the time-space wackiness of Grum, the cosmic cobblestone bridge and 5D anime chess magic gives the White Queen an additional attack this turn!
(19) 27: Another consecutive eight punches turns Grum into a fine paste. The Queen returns to where she belongs:
The nurse attempts to patch up Gurra09 14: He stops the bleeding and puts him on a drip (+1 HP/turn) and then goes to find a doctor.
(13) 18: You run through the crowd, ignoring anyone but your hated foe and catch him off-guard, cutting and slicing through his defences (-35 HP, -5 HP/turn bleeding).
(16) 16: Despite your grogginess and lack of mana, you manage to make the railroads scream in contradiction once again, severely impacting the ability of the CivFanatics berserkers to hold their own due to all the screaming (-2 combat ability).
Sasaki Kojirō (no relation)The Battle of Beijing continues to rage! (12) 16: The Maras are victorious, pushing the CivFanatic berserkers back into the pits of OT where they belong! They feast on the bones of the berserkers, giving them more strength! (+1 to combat ability).
The U.S army finally arrives and starts engaging the Mara! The Battle of Beijing continues!
"I tire of Beijing," says THUNDERFALL "You are worthy opponent. I shall fight you in my most prized arena!" (17) 16: You are transported to the COLOSSEUM. The CivFanatic energies are absorbed by THUNDERFALL, restoring his strength (the Stand Power ability is restored!).
Camikaze screams and makes his final Camikaze attack! (12) 27 Camikaze explodes and dies in a massive fireball, SouthernKing is quick on his feet and creates a barrier to protect against most of the damage and only suffers some pushback (-17 HP). However, blocking such an intense attack drained the rest of his mana and completely exhausted him! SouthernKing falls asleep...and then starts falling! The adrenaline kicks in and awakens SouthernKing (sleepiness penalty suppressed while falling), but now he finds himself rapidly falling to his death! (Falling, instant death in three turns!)
Camikaze's fire rains down on the people below, impacting both the U.S army and the Maras (-1 combat to each). But also the fire hits all characters in the area! ROLL TO DODGE!!!
Carthasis: (16) 15: Carthasis activates his Bushido dodging again, swiftly dodging out of the way and gains a +1 to dodge for the rest of this epic battle.
ori: (11) 11: ori wakes up just in time to avoid his dead comrade's flames!
Sasaki Kojirō (no relation): (16) 10: Being both unconscious and having his legs broken, it is nothing short of a miracle he got out of that chaos with merely -5 HP damage.
Hilary Rodham Clinton: 11: Is safe in her admiral's chair.
ori, seeing the chaos on the ground and the defeat of his comrade, decides to help Catharsis take down the more dangerous foe! (12) 12: ori's DNA magic begins to patch Cartharsis up (+5 HP, 2 turns) and removes the headache.
"While we might be enemies," ori explains "I cannot let my comrade's death be in vain. I will help you take down the Archrulebreaker SouthernKing."
Sasaki Kojirō (no relation) starts assisting the U.S army by attacking the Mara! (-2 to Mara combat ability).
I continue to play F/GO. There's a cool new event coming out later today!
Hilary Rodham Clinton attempts to lead the U.S Army to victory 8: But she's a President, not a military commander dammit!
Marcher Jovain is scouted by an Olympics coach and retires from the game.
I inform King John that a legal proceeding involving me will surely not be boring. Let me represent myself, and I can shatter any kangaroo court you might send my way. Unless he'd prefer a trial by combat, that is...
The reckless attacks just keep getting more reckless!! "CATASTROPHIC CUSHION CHARGE!" downwards, towards SouthernKing and the ground!!!
I levitate and grab on to the mezzaluna, which can fly of its own violition, and use it to fly around cutting up Thunderfall until he is Totinos™fall
In a catlike fashion I revel in my victory at Rosalind, impressing an indelible anecdote about parliamentary procedures that is also incredibly valuable to whatever the hell she has going on. +3 total at that.
Nothing has changed.
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