Roll to Dodge: Ludicrous Edition

[choxorn]

Right, I forgot again that shooting people works better. I tell the Spartans to shoot TLO wth assault rifles.

 

[kill fire]

I have to continue my quest. I keep searching for him.

 

[mythmonster2]

I use the staff as a baseball bat to hit Seon's smiting back at him.

 

[Verarde]

I transform into a Borg.

 

[TheLastOne36]

I become invincible to player attacks

 

[Anonymoose]

The mooseherd performs the ancient rite of 'MOOOOOOOSSSEEEEEE' to revive Abaddon. (What else would it be called? It's all they can say, they're not people, they're moose.)

 

[Thorvald of Lym]

I smite Mythmonster with angelic powers

8 (10): The energy peters out before reaching him.

I resume my role as God by activating Godly powers.

15: You punch yourself in the gut and finally trigger the magic fudge, bestowing the Power of the Avatar (in this case, lycanthropy). You gain a +3 bonus to mêlée attacks and will regain 2 hitpoints each turn. Whether or not your condition is transferable is as yet unknown.

Right, I forgot again that shooting people works better. I tell the Spartans to shoot TLO wth assault rifles.

3: Incredibly, they miss. Some of the bullets are deflected back toward you.
ROLL TO DODGE!
20: You deflect the deflection right into TheLastOne36's chest for 40 damage.

I have to continue my quest. I keep searching for him.

20: You find Horace, Master of Bmfpqrtz three blocks down. He gives you a block of Oka cheese and agrees to accompany you.

I use the staff as a baseball bat to hit Seon's smiting back at him.

7 (8): There's nothing to hit.

I transform into a Borg.

8: You feel very much human.

I become invincible to player attacks

11: You become further resistant to attack, to a +3 bonus.

The mooseherd performs the ancient rite of 'MOOOOOOOSSSEEEEEE' to revive Abaddon. (What else would it be called? It's all they can say, they're not people, they're moose.)

7: It's time to let go, son.

A rat bites Zack.
ROLL TO DODGE!
13 (11): He manages to shake it off.

 

[kill fire]

I use the Oka cheese to speak to the Gods and ask them what I need to do next.

 

[TheLastOne36]

I auto-regenerate any damage done on me.

 

[Seon]

I reascend to Heaven

 

[landlubber]

 

[Verarde]

I find a sword.

 

[mythmonster2]

I grind up Abaddon's body to make sure that if he gets revived he's not gonna be able to do anything.

 

[choxorn]

I reverse TLO's regeneration powers to make the attacks do extra damage. The Spartans continue attacking him, of course.

 

[Anonymoose]

I go back in time and UNMAKE MM2 ENTIRELY.

 

[tuxedohamm]

I go back up to the Oracle and explain that she gave me the same goal as a guy who just ran headfirst into a wall outside and that I need the goal assigned to me.

 

[civplayah]

I attack Seon on his way to heaven.

 

[Thorvald of Lym]

I use the Oka cheese to speak to the Gods and ask them what I need to do next.

8: You talk to the cheese, but hear no response.

I auto-regenerate any damage done on me.

8: No you don't.

I reascend to Heaven

20: With a blazing burst of brilliance, you re-enter Heaven and launch a pre-emptive strike on civplayah, dealing 50 damage.

I find a sword.

3: You find a rusty sword, but as you try to pry it off the ledge it tumbles toward you.
ROLL TO DODGE!
9: You are nicked for 8 damage.

I grind up Abaddon's body to make sure that if he gets revived he's not gonna be able to do anything.

8 (9): You hack him up a bit, but the result is less than granular.

I reverse TLO's regeneration powers to make the attacks do extra damage. The Spartans continue attacking him, of course.

12: He has no powers to manipulate. Your men, meanwhile, inflict 15 damage.

I go back in time and UNMAKE MM2 ENTIRELY.

8: I think there's been enough time travel this round, don't you?

I go back up to the Oracle and explain that she gave me the same goal as a guy who just ran headfirst into a wall outside and that I need the goal assigned to me.

15 (13): The Oracle considers she may have erred, and while she re-evaluates your fate, your current modifiers are lifted.

I attack Seon on his way to heaven.

15 (18): You jump him for 30 damage.

Another rat attacks Zack.
ROLL TO DODGE!
9 (7): He suffers 8 damage.

 

[choxorn]

I Falcon Punch TheLastOne to send him flying and kill him for good.

 

[Anonymoose]

I take a nap to heal myself.