Roll to Dodge: Ludicrous Edition

[Seon]

I have got the most wonderful idea for Roll to Dodge...http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4WgT9gy4zQA

 

[kill fire]

...

For posting this video, you must die painfully and be damned to hell.

 

[Seon]

Why?

 

[Thorvald of Lym]

I jump on top of a nearby building and run away.

9: You run away, but gain no height advantage.

I summon other Na'vi to protect me.

6: They have no means of reaching Earth.

With Mythmonster out of sight, I change coarse and charge civplayah with me horsie.

3: As you bear down on civplayah, the horse suddenly halts and you are thrown from the saddle, suffering 3 damage as you land in a crate of cantaloupes.

I repair the plasma rifle to working condition.

11: You manage to replace the circuitry, rendering the gun to a usable state, but it still requires major overhaul. (It can be fired, but suffers a 50% chance of failure after initial action rolls.)

I grow a second pair of legs, join a freakshow, and make a fortune.

8: You grow an extra two feet in height.

I find a phone and use it to call in an army of Spartans from Halo.

6: You find a phone, but cannot recall their number.

I take a sniff of fresh air and then continue to burry rhawn.

18: You feel invigorated, promptly regaining 10 hp. You proceed to refill the hole.

I order my brownie fairies to flank the Fudge Pixie's position and keep on firing my Chaingun of Justice

8: The fairies comply, but once again your shots fall short.

Police still around as a free action? If so, I lie to them and say that the nuke truck/fire situation... are also related to the random soldiers' violence, so the police can further diffuse that situation.

Hmm, still need a power source but opportunity has been knocking - I steal some unobtainium from bestrfcplayer (and/or/maybe? his Na'Vi allies)

18: The police order the feuding chocolateers to stand down. Meanwhile, you successfully pickpocket bestrfcplayer for unobtanium.

Sell unicorn to a zoo.

8: They dismiss you as a fraud.

I go to, and, once there, proceed to follow mythmonster2, taking some potshots with my rocket launcher. I also tell my soldiers to follow me and shoot and mythmonster2.

9: You fire randomly, but miss. Miraculously nobody else was killed. Your soldiers, meanwhile, swing the truck around.

 

[Seon]

I heal myself with magic

 

[TheLastOne36]

I drink RedBull and grow wings!

 

[GenMarshall]

I find a repair man to make serious overhauls to the plasma rifle.

 

[choxorn]

I remember the Spartans' number, which I use to call them and ask for an army.

 

[Earthling]

One of few successes last round...nice. Next, I offer Abaddon to help him tame/train/whatever his unicorn with magical music if he'll help me obtain a vehicle.

(If talking/diplomacy isn't an action, just put me down as taking a defensive posture this round)

 

[kill fire]

I become a SUPER SAIYAN!

 

[Omega124]

I cast Ultimate End from Final Fantasy VII (Which is a horrible game and a disgrace to the awesome FF games, like I and III, but it had flashy moves, which I like) on Mythmonster2.

 

[tuxedohamm]

I rejoin the angels and as a group, we begin purging the world by driving around and setting anything and anyone we can (except ourselves or our vehicle) on fire. We enjoy our new activity.

 

[Abaddon]

Curse my luck!

Join the circus with Unicorn.

 

[civplayah]

I join the NBA, and try again to make a fortune.

 

[Thorvald of Lym]

I heal myself with magic

5: You temporarily negate your defensive bonus, prompting shots of opportunity by the fudge pixies.
ROLL TO DODGE!
3: All shots hit their mark. You take 24 damage.

I drink RedBull and grow wings!

16: Not only do you grow wings, you're also super-focused for your next activity (+1 to next roll).

I find a repair man to make serious overhauls to the plasma rifle.

14: A mechanic specializing in high-tech weaponry is able to restore it to full functionality.

I remember the Spartans' number, which I use to call them and ask for an army.

6: "All operators are busy. Please hang up and dial again."

Next, I offer Abaddon to help him tame/train/whatever his unicorn with magical music if he'll help me obtain a vehicle.

(If talking/diplomacy isn't an action, just put me down as taking a defensive posture this round)

12: Abaddon does not seem to reciprocate. You adopt a prudent stance, providing a +1 bonus to all defences until the end of your next turn.

I become a SUPER SAIYAN!

19: "Hey Lolita, what's the meme of the day?"
"It's over NINE THOUSAAAAND!"

I cast Ultimate End from Final Fantasy VII (Which is a horrible game and a disgrace to the awesome FF games, like I and III, but it had flashy moves, which I like) on Mythmonster2.

13: In a brazen display of overkill, you manage to inflict a whopping 13 damage.

I rejoin the angels and as a group, we begin purging the world by driving around and setting anything and anyone we can (except ourselves or our vehicle) on fire. We enjoy our new activity.

7: It's fun for a while, but this senseless carnage leaves you feeling unfulfilled.

Join the circus with Unicorn.

16: You get a generous contract that immediately lines your pockets with forty bucks.

I join the NBA, and try again to make a fortune.

15: You are drafted into a generic successful team that increases your salary to $18/turn.

mythmonster2's law enforcement personnel arrive and immediately open fire on Omega.
ROLL TO DODGE!
6: The surprise attack deals 27 damage.
The other officers call for backup as one of the fudge pixies is shot dead.

 

[TheLastOne36]

Seeing how the Red Bull worked, I try giving it to my horse, hoping he would turn into Pegasus.

 

[Seon]

I order the Brownie fairies to to throw their grenades to flush out the Pixies from their cover and shoot them with the Justice Chaingun

 

[kill fire]

I use my new found Super Saiyan powers to blast the hell out of anything that moves.

 

[GenMarshall]

I search for some medical supplies to heal myself with.

 

[choxorn]

I yell at the phone, then hang up and dial the Spartans' number again.