Roll to Dodge: Ludicrous Edition

[Seon]

I summon my angelic chain gun of justice.

 

[TheLastOne36]

Can we join in at anytime?

If so...

I search for a Horse

 

[Thorvald of Lym]

I summon a new nuke above ground with a 1 turn timer.

Divine Intervention: 20
THOU HAST ANGERED THE D1C3 G0D! DR. HAX DISPATCHED!
ROLL TO DODGE!
6: "HAAAAX!" A computer monitor smashes through the topsoil to strike you for 16 damage, also bringing in more air for you and rhawn.

I get in the driver's seat and drive the truck around, and try to destroy as many things as possible, by running them over.

10: There is no clear route to the cab from where you are.

I start getting involved in this game...

17: You get right into it. (+2 to roll for next action)

So, to test out my skills with the newfound flute I perform a soft and fluid melody to earn some cash from passerby.

13: You make small tips. (Cash +$2.20)

I flee the apartment and try in vain to search for a combat armor in a dumpster.

16: You successfully complete your action... but you specified you "try in vain"... so would that mean you fail to find one?

I tell my soldiers to open fire on the falled mythonster2, but I also tell them not to use their gernades yet.

7: mythmonster2 is far out of sight, let alone range.

Angels yell and act unruly as back-seat drivers.

2: The angels are unruly back-seat drivers, but none of them keep driving. The truck runs off the road, and all passengers take 19 damage from the collision.

Field maintenance can restore the truck to road-worthy condition.

I pitch a sales idea to Wal-Mart (I don't care what it is). This idea is so brilliant, I become the new manager and win an Economic Victory.

4: You are chastised for overstepping your executive bounds, and your pay is slashed to $6/turn.

I summon my angelic chain gun of justice.

1: You got the Devil's Cannon! While it is guaranteed to inflict heavy damage on the target, it will also drain your life force with each use. You may destroy it as a free action.

I search for a Horse

15: Despite this being downtown in an urban centre, you find a horse all saddled up.

A driver pulls over and helps mythmonster2 off the road.
The police repeat their inquiry into what Omega124 knows about the attack on the office building.

 

[Omega124]

Ignoring the cops, I order my troops to find and shoot mythmonster2.

 

[Abaddon]

I search for a unicorn.

 

[bestrfcplayer]

I go to a hospital and regrow my hands.

 

[Seon]

I destroy the vile cannon and try to summon the chaingun of justice again

 

[TheLastOne36]

I find a rope attached to the horse and gallop to Mythmonster2 in wild west style trying to catch him with the rope.

 

[tuxedohamm]

Angels set fire to the truck and head back to the road to hijack a sports car and return to my location.

 

[choxorn]

I run over bestrfcplayer with the truck before he can reach a hospital.

(Oh, and BTW, rhawn quit the forums)

 

[mythmonster2]

I do a Face Heel Turn and break the driver who helped me's neck.

 

[Abaddon]

rhawn quit the forums

How, what, where, why, link me?

 

[GenMarshall]

16: You successfully complete your action... but you specified you "try in vain"... so would that mean you fail to find one?

Lets try this again, searching for a combat armor in the dumpster while being optomistic. (Can't believe I wasted a turn using "in vain")

 

[Abaddon]

"in vain" does mean fail...

 

[Earthling]

(I think) Good to know the flute works, not exactly rolling in the dough though, but at least I haven't angered anyone (yet...)

Anyway, I sort the money to keep only the older coins and donate the rest to charity, with a slight awkward laugh at the thought of whether that generosity really means anything...

 

[choxorn]

How, what, where, why, link me?

See this post, from NOTW XXX:

OOC: Dang it, I was expecting Rhawn to be lynched, therefore I didn't feel the need to inform you that Rhawn has requested to be permanently banned from CFC. Due to this, all PM and email capabilities have been removed from his account. Though he hasn't said anything here, this can only mean that he is dropping out of this game. I apologize for having not said it earlier, but it appeared that Rhawn would be lynched, so I didn't see the need to do so. I expected the lynch to do it for me.

@Frozen: I'm not sure what you wish to do. Possibly alter beefy's last stand to have taken out Rhawn as well?

 

[GenMarshall]

"in vain" does mean fail...

Umm, no it doesnt. Not the way I use it. But I guess no one understands me in the first place and misinterpret my language.

 

[civplayah]

Fine, I'll just diligently work for my meager pay.

 

[Thorvald of Lym]

Ignoring the cops, I order my troops to find and shoot mythmonster2.

19: They pile into their truck and head off in pursuit, quickly catching up. From the open back of the truck, the start taking pot-shots at him.
ROLL TO DODGE!
17: mythmonster2 dives underneath the car, avoiding the gunfire, and realizes he is in possession of a police radio with which he can call for backup (free action).

I search for a unicorn.

11 (13): You find a unicorn hidden in a delivery truck, although it may take a little time to warm up to you.

I go to a hospital and regrow my hands.

15 (13): You are rushed through emergency for immediate surgery. Miraculously, your hands have been brought in and can still be re-attached.

bestrfcplayer has been stabilized. He will regain 20 hp each turn he remains in the hospital (free action to sustain; forfeit any other action that turn).

I destroy the vile cannon and try to summon the chaingun of justice again

18: Second time's the charm. The fudge pixies, meanwhile, rally and begin attacking again.
ROLL TO DODGE!
5 (7): You take 11 damage.

I find a rope attached to the horse and gallop to Mythmonster2 in wild west style trying to catch him with the rope.

1: You find a rope, but the burst of gunfire startles the horse and you suddenly find yourself being pulled along in a noose. You take ongoing -4 hp until you relieve the pressure on your neck.

Angels set fire to the truck and head back to the road to hijack a sports car and return to my location.

19: The truck is set ablaze, and they manage to commandeer a sportscar to return to you.

I run over bestrfcplayer with the truck before he can reach a hospital.

18: Too late; the truck is on fire and you are forced to bail out.

choxorn may re-use this roll next turn with a 50% chance of aggravating Dr. Hax.

I do a Face Heel Turn and break the driver who helped me's neck.

2: The driver is too agile, and promptly retaliates, dealing 14 damage.

Lets try this again, searching for a combat armor in the dumpster while being optomistic. (Can't believe I wasted a turn using "in vain")

18: You find a viable set of armour foolishly discarded that provides a +2 to basic physical defence.

Anyway, I sort the money to keep only the older coins and donate the rest to charity, with a slight awkward laugh at the thought of whether that generosity really means anything...

12: You now have $0.62. Somewhere in Africa, a child can drink clean water.

Fine, I'll just diligently work for my meager pay.

19: You go an extra long haul in greeting a family of eight with unruly kids while retaining a pleasant outward demeanour, and receive triple pay.

Seon's brownie fairy reinforcements have arrived, and promptly begin engaging the fudge pixies.
The police abandon Omega124 in frustration and begin questioning anyone in the general vicinity. Player response is a free action.

 

[Omega124]

Oh, that is it. I run towards Mythmonster2 myself and fire my rocket Launcher, hoping my troops follow with their machine guns.